Brother Complex
by ghirahim
Summary: Growing up is tough, particularly when you have a sadistic older brother everyone thinks is perfect. Sasuke doesn't care about that. He's used to it but what he's not used to is puberty causing him to fantasize about said older brother! Not to worry though he's getting the immoral albeit still helpful advice from his best friend Naruto; after all why should he do it all alone?
1. loss of innocence, death of chivalry

Disclaimer: as I have stated several times before I do not nor will I ever do not own Naruto nor would I ever even dream of giving anyone such a ridiculous idea; furthermore, I make absolutely no money from writing and blah, blah, blah – you get the picture.

"_A brother is a friend God gave you; a friend is a brother your heart chose for you."  
- Proverb_

* * *

Running. Twelve-year-old Uchiha Sasuke was running. He had no idea where he was running to or what he was running from but he was running as far as his feet could take him. Which, based on twelve and three-fourth years of living, wasn't too far. "Nīsan!" He screamed as he continued to run aimlessly. After a few more minutes of running he saw a forest up ahead. Great; he was having a nightmare and worse of all it was one of those nightmares in which you knew you were having a nightmare!

His four year older know-it-all brother, Itachi, told him he wasn't old (or brave) enough to watch an R15+ movie but did he listen? Nope. Itachi even said he'd get nightmares but did Sasuke care? Not at all! Itachi also gave him an out but did Sasuke take it? No! He just had to _prove_ to his brother that he was 'big enough' to watch a scary movie without getting a nightmare afterwards but evidently he wasn't. Damn his pride! Sasuke truly would not have been surprised if Itachi put some kind of a hex or something on him. Naturally, the twelve-year-old didn't believe in curses and the like but Uchiha Itachi was one scary ass S.O.B. capable of doing damn near anything and everything so the possibilities were endless.

The twelve-year-old hid behind a conveniently placed large tree panting heavily. He couldn't exactly remember the movie in detail but most clichéd horror films often had the 'protagonist' of sorts running into some large, poorly lit area to confront the 'antagonist' or at least the antagonist's lackey only to have them barely escape with their life until the final confrontation nearly an hour later – although sometimes they weren't lucky enough to last that long. If this was his mind's way of reenacting the film why the hell couldn't he remember a less frightening part of it? Perhaps a clichéd make-out scene or one of those bland, overly explanatory conversations which wrongly convicts the true murderer? Shit!

"You called?" Gasping loudly, Sasuke slowly turned to his left seeing his older brother seemingly glide out from behind another large tree pointing a water gun at him. The only feasible reason why Sasuke knew it wasn't a real gun was because the object was see-through and there was some indiscernible liquid sloshing around inside it. "Tsk, tsk, tsk... how many times to I have to tell you don't try and grow up before your time. Baka. Otōto." With that damn bonafide evil smirk that only the sixteen-year-old was capable of giving, Itachi pulled the trigger firing the scalding liquid right at Sasuke's forehead.

Usually, Itachi poked him in the forehead with his finger or a pencil but this felt much, _much_ worse. Screaming, the twelve-year-old recoiled from the heat then began running off again. He heard Itachi laughing evilly but didn't bother turning around. He wasn't that stupid after all. "Oh come on Sasuke!" He heard Itachi yell, "do you really want me to chase you?" He heard Itachi sigh and while he was sure the sixteen-year-old was doing something else he was not in a hurry to find out what it was. Not that it really mattered because Itachi materialized right in front of him. "You really should get into shape otōto..."

With skill he wasn't comprehensive of, Sasuke managed to dodge his older brother's assault to keep running. Not hearing any footsteps or evil laughter Sasuke figured he was in the clear so he glanced back as he was still running and his eyes widened to see Itachi charging after him. As odd as it sounded, that part wasn't too surprising... no, the eerie part was Itachi running on all fours like some kind of wild animal!

Picking up speed he couldn't possibly achieve outside dream machinations, Sasuke ran off until – as clichéd as it was – he tripped. He turned around trying to get up seeing Itachi slowly walking toward him. He scrambled backwards crab walking until he hit a tree. Gasping he looked up and swore. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Turning around, Sasuke gulped seeing Itachi standing in front of him but before he could move or even utter a sound he found himself being hoisted in the air. "You fool, I nearly broke a sweat chasing after you." Itachi was gently shaking the twelve-year-old in his hands. "Did you forget that I'm faster than you?" The sixteen-year-old chuckled, "and bigger too?"

"W-What do you want nīsan?" Sasuke asked fruitlessly squirming in his brother's grip as the sixteen-year-old continued to shake him.

"What do I want?" The sixteen-year-old ceased shaking him. "Tsk, tsk otōto. This is your dream; you should know better than anyone what I want. Or rather, what _you_ want me to want." The twelve-year-old eyes widened as Itachi pressed him against the tree; he could feel the bark scraping against his skin as his shirt rose up when Itachi grabbed him. Licking his lips, Itachi came closer to his brother until their faces were mere centimeters apart.

Sasuke noticed his brother was sporting a rather impressive set of fangs; it also seemed as though he had horns and a tail!? Oh shit, Sasuke had to stop having ice cream before bed if he was going to dream of crazy shit like this! "Don't look so glum otōto, you'll get what you want soon enough."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sasuke winced as Itachi pulled him impossibly closer then slammed him back into the tree.

"My my otōto, such crassness. You know something... I think your mouth is in dire need of some intense cleaning." As the twelve-year-old continued to cry out in pain Itachi suddenly took the opportunity to press his lips against his brother's. When Sasuke gasped, Itachi dipped his tongue into his brother's open mouth massaging his tongue and exploring the mouth in question until the need for air made itself apparent.

Once the two mouths slowly detached leaving a trail of saliva in their wake Sasuke screamed until Itachi used his free hand to clamp over the twelve-year-old's mouth. "You're going to ruin the moment otōto." Itachi's sharp claws that were latched onto Sasuke's neck causing the aforementioned body part to bleed. Feeling Sasuke had calmed down somewhat or lost too much blood from his throat to scream, Itachi used his impressively sturdy tail to hold his shocked brother flush against his body then proceeded to lick the blood off the twelve-year-old's neck. As badly as he didn't want to admit it, the coarseness of Itachi's tongue felt heavenly – which seemed odd to say since the sixteen-year-old appeared more demonic than angelic at the moment.

Sasuke had to close his eyes as he got lost in the pleasurable ministrations that heated up his entire core. When the licking ceased Sasuke slowly opened his eyes and his heart thumped loudly in his chest due to the come hither look his brother was giving him. Itachi licked his lips and Sasuke's eyes couldn't help but transfix on the appendage that was servicing him a while ago. "You don't look satisfied enough. Shall I lick you some more, _master_?"

Gray eyes shot open and Sasuke lunged forward in his covers slamming his head onto the bottom of the top bunk. "Fuck." He muttered rubbing his head. Narrowing his eyes, Sasuke looked around taking in the scenery that was his bedroom. Oh, so he was awake now. That was a relief since he couldn't even imagine what was going to happen next in his dream – and what a dream that was! Sighing heavily, Sasuke slumped back in his bed closing his eyes trying to calm his rapid heartbeat. When he opened his eyes again he flinched seeing the top of Itachi's head upside down, the sixteen-year-old's unamused gray eyes were staring at him and his long hair was falling down the top bunk.

"That had better been one hell of a nightmare." Itachi bit out. Sasuke squeaked his apology slinking further into his covers. Itachi was terrifying on a regular basis but a sleep deprived was ten times worse but a hungry Itachi was worst of all. The last time he pissed Itachi off when he was hungry he was getting an x-ray for his cracked ribs.

Itachi rolled back onto his bed then sat up so he could climb down the top bunk onto the floor in front of his little brother. The sixteen-year-old stared at the twelve-year-old profusely avoiding making eye contact. Sasuke wasn't exactly ready to look his brother in the eye yet; his body still felt hot from the memory of that dream alone. The twelve-year-old grimaced as Itachi sat on his bed ignoring his mental tirade.

"Hmm..." Itachi felt Sasuke's forehead with one hand and felt his with the other, "you don't have a fever." Sasuke continued grimacing as Itachi felt his neck. "Okay, exactly what the hell happened?" Sasuke's lips pulled into a tight line. Even if he wanted to tell what happened there was no way in hell he _could_ tell Itachi what happened.

Tilting his head back, the sixteen-year-old tapped his chin. It was obvious Sasuke was on the receiving end of a nightmare. Itachi frowned; he told that little idiot he'd get a nightmare from the movie but sometimes talking to Sasuke was like talking to a fucking brick wall. In fact, sometimes it was like walking into a brick wall; painful to try and impossible to get through. Now Sasuke wasn't mature by any means and he wasn't like most kids who were in a hurry to grow up. Sasuke definitely enjoyed his childhood to the fullest but he was the type to put his pride on the line to prove a point no matter how stupid said point truly was. Fucking idiot.

Itachi put his head down and paused at the tent in his brother's sheets. After waking up from a nightmare, Sasuke always broke out in a cold sweat flushed as hell with this dazed, albeit aroused look on his face but this might be the first time he ever got hard from a nightmare... unless the twelve-year-old was into that sort of thing now. "You know..." Still grimacing, Sasuke looked up at his brother. "I know you get nightmares from scary movies but to get an erection from one is too strange, even for you."

Sasuke looked down and widened his eyes. "Holy shit!"

"Now this might be a hunch but I believe you're hitting puberty." Sasuke glanced at his brother. "Your pants weren't wet, right?" Sasuke glanced down; now that Itachi mentioned it he did feel some kind of moisture forming in his boxers but he just assumed it was sweat – with the nightmare and all. "Guess that answers my question. I must say you hitting puberty two and a half years before I did is pretty upsetting but whatever. Alright!" Itachi clapped his hands together startling Sasuke, "you remember what Kakashi said. Get in the bathroom."

Sasuke's grimace deepened. The twelve-year-old, or at the time nine-year-old, was on standby when Kakashi, Itachi's godfather, had 'the talk' with the then fourteen-year-old. It was only two and a half years ago – like Itachi said – so Sasuke wasn't all that willing to go down that road again especially since Kakashi was pretty graphic in detail. Fuck, Sasuke still had nightmares about it. None of the choices Kakashi gave them for dealing with the unpredictabilities puberty could and would dish out seemed rather appealing in Sasuke's opinion.

"Stop with the face and I wasn't giving you an option dumbass so get up." Sasuke shook his head furiously. "Oh? I see. Fine. Don't do it then explain to mom why you're pitching a tent." Sasuke pouted cutely in an attempt to wordlessly plea with his brother but Itachi countered by shaking his head. "And just so you know Sasuke... if you don't tell mom then I will."

"You can't!"

"Oh, can't I?" Itachi smirked. How dare Itachi use Sasuke's own methods of manipulation against him! Not only that but he was better at it too! And since Sasuke invented the method in question there was no known refusal or counter created for it so Sasuke sighed heavily. He couldn't possibly tell their mother about this (or let Itachi tell her); in her mind he was still her little baby – she was already heartbroken when Itachi hit puberty so this would destroy her!

Grumbling under his breath, Sasuke kicked his sheets out of his way then hobbled into the bathroom while shielding his lower half from his brother. The twelve-year-old made a mental note to come up with a counterattack in case Itachi decided to try and get him again. He closed then locked the door behind him sighing heavily once more. Wincing, he looked down at the lump in his boxers then was startled when he heard a knock on the door. "Want me to come in there?"

"N-No!" Sasuke cleared his throat, "I can do it myself."

"Not the best choice of words." He heard Sasuke groan on the other side of the door, "should I stay by the door in case you need anything?"

Sasuke paused for a moment choosing his words carefully. "It's okay, I think I can manage."

"Alright then, goodnight otōto."

"Goodnight nīsan." Sasuke glanced at the door briefly. He might share a room with Itachi but their bunk bed was quite a way from the bathroom so the sixteen-year-old might not be able to hear him if he kept his voice down. Unless Itachi possessed excellent hearing too... which wasn't completely impossible.

Glaring at the toilet bowl, Sasuke slowly pulled down his boxers hissing at the friction it caused. Courtesy of his best friend, who may or may not show signs of exhibitionist tendencies – but that was a conversation for another day, Sasuke got into the habit of sleeping without pants on so it was easier to undress at night or use the bathroom. Itachi didn't know that, nor did he need to know, despite sleeping in the same room because regardless of the weather Sasuke always slept under the covers. While he had no intention of ever telling his brother (or anyone) that he slept half-naked he was pretty sure Itachi figured it out with today's turn of events; however, there was an upside to this... Sasuke could pin his state of dress – or lack thereof – on him going into puberty and feeling hot or whatever and he just shimmied out of his clothing. Yeah, that seemed feasible.

The pervert known as Kakashi said one way to relieve ones stress of the sexual persuasion was to touch oneself in a pleasurable manner. Sasuke touched himself all the time in the shower or when he went to the bathroom or even when it itched but never with the intent he was going to today. And just what in the hell was a 'pleasurable manner' anyway? Taking a few deep breaths, Sasuke grabbed the base of his cock with his left hand gently moving it up and down the shaft. Kakashi also said it was best to visualize something to help take the edge off. Sasuke shuddered involuntarily. The image of his brother licking him was still fresh in his mind so any kind of visualization was definitely out.

The twelve-year-old's eyebrows furrowed as his cock twitched in his hand. "Son of a bitch!" He groaned then glanced toward the door half expecting Itachi to storm in then proceed to beat the shit out of him.

Visualizing his brother doing other unspeakable things to him could not possibly help relieve his stress or UST, which Kakashi told him stood for unresolved sexual tension, could it? That sounded as if it were something that could induce any entirely different type of tension and perhaps some therapy as well. Also, if it really did help then he was far more fucked up than he could even imagine!

Regardless of his brain's obvious confusion, due to intense lack of blood flow, Sasuke could not go back to sleep with the throbbing pain between his legs especially since the reason for the aforementioned throbbing was asleep on the bed above him so it was well worth a shot to use his crazy dream to relieve himself. Besides, it wasn't as though he would tell Itachi he used him in such a manner. Hell, he couldn't tell Itachi – doing it was weird enough but talking about it would be next to impossible. How the hell was he supposed to explain that he dreamt of his brother then subsequently used said dream to masturbate? Sasuke shuddered again, he felt all kinds of dirty using the word masturbate but he didn't really know any other way to describe it that made it sound any cleaner. Then again, it wasn't exactly considered a clean habit but everyone did it so whatever.

Sasuke sighed looking down. This wasn't working out the way he expected. He was no expert at this but he and his best friend did watch a lot of porn together; all kinds of porn and masturbating never seemed this difficult! According to some of the books a few of Itachi's friends (yes, even someone as vindictive as Itachi had friends) laying around their room it merely took just a few strokes before semen shot out of one's cock at a damn near violent rate. Porn wasn't all that realistic either but he should have realized it wouldn't be so easy even if it wasn't his first time.

Fuck. Sasuke glanced down as he continued to stroke himself begrudgingly imagining his dream brother coming through with the promise of more licking. Courtesy of his best friend, Sasuke knew more about sex than he cared to admit so it was obvious that was the next step in his dream and he was eternally grateful to wake up before that happened. He might have known how to have sex between two guys but he wasn't all that eager to try it out with his brother – especially since if it did happen Sasuke would take the submissive or 'female' role and if Itachi was as much of a sadist in bed as he was everywhere else it wouldn't be that much of a pleasing experience.

The twelve-year-old glanced up at the ceiling which held his flushed reflection upside down stroking his cock. Every so often he'd squeeze the tip hoping he'd get release but that pleasure was only brief since nothing happened. Sasuke frowned at his reflection. He still had no idea why his mother wanted to have mirrors on the ceilings of all the bathrooms instead of the walls like normal people but he didn't dare question her interior designing as she solely modeled the house to suit her apparent boredom when she wasn't at work or taking care of her two sons.

Eyebrows furrowing, and with his left hand still stroking his cock, he saw his cellphone on the sink counter. With his free hand, he picked it up dialing number one on the phone and pressing it against his right ear. He couldn't remember why he left it there but whatever the reason he certainly was thankful because it made things a bit more convenient as opposed to trying to sneak into the room and getting the phone. Also, another plus was this was definitely improving his multitasking abilities.

After a few seconds of seemingly endless ringing, there was a brief silence followed by a loud groan on the other end. "Someone better be dying, its five in the morning dattebayo."

Sasuke glanced at the clock hanging on the bathroom door and sure enough it was 4:57am. Whoa! "And yet your voice still resonates." Sasuke rolled his eyes at the expected muttering of obscenities then some shuffling. "Listen, I did not call to argue with you ...this time. Also, nobody is dying but this is a pretty big deal."Sasuke sighed, "wait a minute! Why are you complaining anyway? Don't you have insomnia or something?"

"Contrary to what you may think, asshole, I was asleep."

Sasuke couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, "really?"

"No... but I was nodding off." There was a slight pause that had Sasuke furrowing his eyebrows. "Alright, fine! I was wide awake. So what is this 'big deal' you called me for? I bet its something stupid."

"Its not stupid. You think I'd call you at five in the morning just to shoot the shit with you?"

"Wouldn't be the first time."

Sasuke sighed, "listen... y-you know, normally, I wouldn't call you so early in the morning without a very good reason. A-And, I do have a good reason for calling so early in the morning. You see, I called—"

"Dammit Sasuke get on with it already!"

"Nīsan said I hit puberty."

Sasuke frowned at the brief silence before he heard a hum. "Damn, well that's a conversation starter ttebayo." Some more movement was heard and Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows further. "Still, did you really feel the need to call me so early in the morning to tell me about this dattebayo? Couldn't it wait until we got to school? I suppose in theory it is a technically sound good reason and whatever but—"

"Don't hang up! I'm hard and its painful and—"

"What the shit dude? That's fucking gross. I mean seriously, eww, and didn't you get hard before hitting puberty? Its no different from then; well, sure its a little different but not much. I guess, I wouldn't know since I haven't hit puberty yet myself. But I am a few months younger than you are. Hold up, how come you didn't tell Itachi-nī about this? No wait, let me guess... you told him and he offered to help but you told him no? Typical dattebayo. You can be so damn stubborn sometimes."

"Oh really? Like you're one to talk about stubbornness."

"We're not here to argue Sasuke. Didn't you just say that?"

Sasuke sucked his teeth. "Listen man, nīsan heard me so he knows I hit puberty. We share a damn room for crying out loud but I can't exactly ask him for help. Things are awkward enough already." Sasuke sighed, the silence on the other end indicated he had his best friend's undivided attention at the moment and that was a pretty difficult accomplishment since his best friend was as attention deficit as they came not that Sasuke himself was all that much better. "You have to swear to me that you will not repeat a single word of what I am about to tell you to anyone. Am I making myself clear?"

"Is it some kind of freaky occult thing or like a revival ritual?"

"No, its nothing like that dumbass. Its top secret shit only to be told by best friends. Do you swear?"

"I swear like a sailor on a daily basis."

"I'm not sure what that means but okay." Sasuke took a deep breath. "Y-You see—"

"Don't beat around the bush this time."

"I won't! So, the reason why I'm up so early is because I was dreaming – although I guess it was more like a nightmare – a-and nīsan kissed me." After yet another brief silence Sasuke scowled at the laughter on the other side. "Dammit! Naruto, this isn't funny. It scared the hell out of me! I woke up in a cold sweat." Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed as the laughter didn't cease. "Stop laughing! A-And remember you can't say anything!"

"Come on Sasuke, I doubt anyone would believe me even if I told them dattebayo." Naruto said in between laughs. "Still, its pretty fucking hilarious hearing you lusting over your older brother."

"I fail to see the humor in it."

"Anyways, chill, you know I'm good for keeping secrets... remember~?" Sasuke cringed muttering something incoherent. "Alright, back to the present. What are you doing? Masturbating in your bathroom that you share with your brother? Chalk that up to one in your spank bank dattebayo."

"..." Sasuke frowned. "You know how much I hate the word—"

"Masturbate? I'm sooooo sorry, Sasu-chan. You're jerking off, wacking off, beating off, waxing the dolphin, playing with yourself, beating your meat, choking the chicken, fapping, rubbing one out—"

"Stop! _Stop!_ Why the fuck do you have so many synonyms for it?!"

"Hm? I don't know. I was bored one day then started looking them up."

"So that's the kind of shit you commit to memory? What about school? You never seem to remember anything from that."

"Ugh. You sound like Kakashi-sensei ttebayo. Just to let you know, I didn't commit shit to memory. I wrote it all down and its right in front of me." Sasuke facepalmed. "Hey Sasuke, want me to play some soothing music for you on my harmonica?"

"That thing isn't soothing."

"Should I get the harp? Wait a sec... did you say you were touching yourself as in right now? I mean, you are wanking while you are on the phone with me!? That's double gross and you'd better not use my seductive voice to get off Uchiha."

"Whatever Uzumaki, like hell you're seductive. Though when you just wake up it sounds a bit different than usual..." Sasuke shook his head immediately shrugging that thought off. He was already twisted for imagining his brother in a sexual way; he couldn't afford to do the same with his best friend. "That's not important. Just stay on the damn phone until the white stuff comes out."

"You mean the white pee~?" Sasuke glowered at the phone. "Damn Sasuke, its called semen. You're supposed to use the technical terms now that you've got one foot in the doorway of adulthood."

"I'll remember that for next time and I'm sure you won't be this damn co... _arrogant _when it happens to you."

"You may be right, dattebayo, but for now I'll just bask in the wonders of your suffering~! After all, its not everyday I get to hear you being so miserable." Sasuke glanced at the clock that read 5:18. How the hell was he not finished yet? "Oi, Sasuke?" A monosyllabic grunt was his reply, "if you don't want any soothing music do you want some ecchi sound effects? I got a couple of Ero-tōsan's audio tapes and some films. One of them is bound to work."

"No thanks."

"Then let me ask you this... you're using some kind of moisture right? Lotion or saliva or something like that? Because you'll get one hell of a friction burn if you just blindly stroke yourself with your hands."

Sasuke stopped flatly staring at his hands. Damn, his hands were starting to hurt and get tired but he just assumed that was normal. Shit, it was a good thing he called Naruto. "What if I use something that gives me a weird reaction or a rash or something?"

"Just use regular lotion or that hypo-safe baby oil."

"I think you mean hypoallergenic."

"Whatever, use that." Grunting, Sasuke slowly removed the hand from his cock briefly and uncapped a bottle of hypoallergenic baby lotion on the sink counter then poured a bit on his cock. Yes, Sasuke used baby lotion – he had sensitive skin... plus he liked the way it felt. Putting the lotion back on the counter, he resumed stroking himself and had to admit that it did feel a bit better being so slippery. "Better?"

"A bit." Sasuke winced seeing some clear liquid oozing from the tip of his penis dribbling down to the toilet. "What the—"

"Take a chill pill dude, its only precome."

"And exactly how the hell do you know that?"

"Tsk tsk, Uchiha-tan, did you forget that my father is the supreme overlord of all things pornographic dattebayo? He gave me the sex talk when I was at the tender age of four and a half. I couldn't even pronounce some of the words he used. Hell, I still can't."

"Yeah, I know... I was there remember?"

"Hm? Oh yeah, you were really grossed out."

"You were too. Since we're talking about fathers I honestly don't remember the last time I saw mine."

"Hmm... I think it was Halloween, right?"

"I thought I saw him on Christmas. Or was that a video chat?" Sasuke shrugged, "whatever."

"You know, your erection will droop if you get depressed." Sasuke glared at the phone. "Dude, who cares when the last time you saw your dad you still got your mom around. Besides, we're not competing to see who is having a sadder childhood since I'd win with never meeting my birth parents dattebayo." Sasuke rolled his eyes sighing, "getting back to the matter at hand. Did you come yet?"

"Uh, no?"

"Maybe you should try putting your finger in your ass to speed up the process?"

"Are you out of your fucking mind?! Why the shit would I want to do something like that. Fingers don't belong anywhere near an ass."

"They do if you want to clean your ass properly and its better than putting something foreign in there... up there. I do it when I shower, it hurts less the more you do it."

"Right and I'm supposed to believe that feels good?"

"You can believe whatever you want, dattebayo, but for me it does feel kinda good. At first I was like, eww why the hell am I doing this cause it damn sure won't fit but gradually I got used to it and it started getting looser so it didn't hurt as much and it even started to feel good."

"So its like wanking?" Sasuke sighed at the laughter on the other end.

"Dude, I was waiting for you to use one of the terms! Yeah, its like wanking – hell that's exactly what it is. I can only fit one finger fully but sometimes I can fit part of two fingers."

"That's two more than me... plus I'm not really sure I wanna touch my ass."

"Remember the talk you had with dad?" Sasuke shuddered involuntarily. As badly as he wanted to forget, he remembered the conversation he had with Naruto's adopted father Jiraiya. If he thought the conversation with Kakashi was bad this increased that feeling tenfold. One minute he and the white-haired man were talking about various textures of different kinds of strawberries and the next thing Sasuke knew they were talking about anal stimulation.

While Sasuke knew Kakashi was one hell of a pervert, the white-haired man didn't hold a candle to Jiraiya who – ironically – Kakashi seemed to look up to. Uzumaki Jiraiya, also known as the great toad author, was one random man and it was blatantly obvious that Naruto developed that aspect of his insane personality from his caretaker. Sasuke truly didn't know which one he felt more sorry for. But in the end, he felt sorry for himself more because he was the one that had to put up with it. Now the only reason why Naruto knew of the conversation (aside from Jiraiya maybe telling him) was he entered the room toward the end sticking around until the monologue was done.

"It might not be such a bad idea. What other choice do you have? We gotta get ready for school soon." Sasuke glanced at the clock that read 5:32. Shit, time was flying by this morning. "You are still stroking yourself right?"

Sasuke sighed heavily. "Yes Naruto, I still am. Now, about my ass its not an entrance for fingers or anything else."

"You called me for help right? Why bother asking my opinion if you aren't going to listen to it?"

"I am listening to what you have to say but I'm not cool with having my fingers roaming around my ass. You didn't hear the entire conversation with Jiraiya-san. That shit was seriously scary. Like I need therapy scary. If I do it wrong I can get an infection, puncture my asshole, oh yeah and I'm pretty sure there was something about rectal bleeding."

"You can bleed from your asshole?"

"Apparently you can. You can bleed from your dick too."

"I know that. Still, about the ass thing, bleeding sounds better than getting an infection since there isn't any cream you could use down there. No, I'm sure there is a kind of medicine you—"

"Naruto!"

"What?!"

Sasuke shook his head. "Can you please stay on topic?"

"I am! Wasn't I?"

"Uh no, you weren't." Sasuke sighed. "Hey, my stomach kind of hurts and I feel like I gotta pee. Is that normal?"

"How the hell should I know ttebayo?"

"You're the expert here Naruto. I don't know jack shit about this. You haven't even hit puberty yet and you know more stuff than most adults who've been going through it for years!" Naruto made some kind of noise of approval and Sasuke chuckled. Sometimes his best friend was so easy to please it was downright adorable. Jiraiya taught Naruto everything he knew which explained why the twelve-year-old was so randomly well-rounded.

"I guess that would be dad's doing since he writes porn for a living." Sasuke hummed in agreement. "I just thought of something that will definitely get your juices flowing. Pun very much intended." Sasuke groaned. "Listen to this! Try imagining someone you're into, other than Itachi-nī, wearing something hot – or better yet not wearing anything at all. Visualization or something like that."

"There are two problems with that. One; when I tried visualizing, twice, it came back to nīsan and two; I don't really like anyone. Next suggestion."

"No one? Hmm... come to think of it neither do I. Okay, dig this, thinking of something that gives you physical pleasure. Like harping down at me when I screw up. Or seeing yourself eating dozens of onigiri." While the latter thought did make Sasuke's mouth water slightly it didn't really make him any hornier than he was. "Maybe thinking about eating those gross tomato flavored candies you go nuts over will help."

"They are not gross."

"Oh come on Sasuke. Tomatoes don't belong anywhere near sweets."

"What about ketchup?"

"Touché dattebayo. Nevertheless those candies were conjured in the mind of an extreme sadist."

"You're only saying that because you are a vegetable hating ramen junkie."

"I'm not a junkie. I went twelve whole ramen free hours."

"And I bet they were miserable."

Naruto sighed, "they were the worst."

"Oh! I almost forgot, I don't get off on ragging on you."

"You sure? Because it sure as hell seems that way."

"It does not—" Frowning, Sasuke looked down at the clear, whitish liquid atop the toilet.

"Sasuke? Hey, Sasuke? You're still there right? Hello~?"

"Huh? Wha—? Y-Yea, I'm still here." Sasuke continued to stare at the toilet. "I think I just came."

"Like seriously? How did it feel!? Take a picture of it!"

"Uh, alright." With a neutral expression, Sasuke took a picture of the toilet before putting the phone back against his ear. "Why did you want a picture?"

"I just do is all, not like I can get off on it or anything. So, tell me how it felt?"

"I told you like I was peeing... only a bit weirder. I can't exactly describe how weird though." Naruto sighed. "Sorry? What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, its cool. I just wanted to be prepared is all. By the way, just in case you were interested you just unlocked a new achievement – congratulations on your first orgasm Uchiha-sama; welcome to adulthood dattebayo."

"Why did you make it seem as though I was playing some kind of xbox game instead of having an orgasm?"

"Orgasm is a funny word." Sasuke facepalmed... with his clean hand. "And I refer everything to my 360. I just love it so~"

"Did you ever get that motion detecting thing?"

"Hell no. Dad won't let me. He says I'll break something with my destructive nature of self-induced injuries or something. Whatever that means."

"Duh, it means exactly what it sounds like. Uzumaki Naruto, you are pretty fucking clumsy. When we play the wii I have to stay at least ten centimeters away from you to keep safe."

"Yeah, yeah. Yuck it up Uchiha. Its all laughs with you now as opposed to you being super pissy a moment ago."

"That was the UST my friend. I thought Kakashi was just screwing around when he told me it was nothing to fuck with but I must admit I feel a tremendous weight lifted off my, uh, shoulders. Touching yourself really does relieve stress."

"How often do you think you're going to do it?"

"How often do you think I _should_ do it?"

"I don't know. It won't like fall off or anything if you use it too much will it? Because I know your semen will get watered down if you come all the time. Its like shaking a soda, after a while it loses all the carbonation."

"That's good to know. Also, its like a soda that you left out – it'll lose carbonation that way too. Now, regarding the matter at hand I suppose I'll just do it whenever I get angry. Shut up don't say anything. Maybe biweekly?"

"Twice a week or every two weeks?"

"..." Sasuke paused, "either or. How often do you think I'll get hard?"

"Not sure but I'll tell you one thing... you will definitely get hard more times than you jerk off. Fact."

"That's true." Sasuke sighed. "You know, I don't think I thanked you for helping me."

"Ah shit man, no thanks required dattebayo. As weird and gross as it was I wouldn't have done it for anyone else but you. Its my job as your best friend. If I can't keep you sane who will, right? Besides, I'm sure you would have done the same if our roles were reversed... although I'm sure you'd do it with far less enthusiasm."

"I know that's right but I think you were only enthusiastic just to make fun of me."

"Sasu-tan, you know me all too well ttebayo." Sasuke shook his head. "Yo, you think Itachi-nī heard you? He's a light sleeper, ne? Remember when we tried throwing him that surprise party but he overheard you then crashed it."

"I still don't know how someone can crash their own surprise party." Sasuke paled. Shit! Naruto had a point. Not about the party bit but Itachi was a ridiculously light sleeper. That explained why hitting his head against the bunk woke his brother up. After getting off Itachi was the furthest thing from his mind... and that was where he intending to have his brother (both dream and reality) stay! "Y-You don't think I was loud, do you? Wait a sec..." Frowning, Sasuke put the phone down then wiped the cooling remnants of his release off his hand before pulling up his boxers and tucking himself in. He, then, washed his hands and finally put the phone back against his ear. "I'm back."

"Dude, what were you doing?"

"I cleaned myself off." Sasuke glanced down at the toilet frowning, "though I need to clean this toilet now... damn this shit is messy."

"You should get some condoms."

"To jerk off with?"

"Why not? I mean they were made to keep everything inside, right? Oh, I know, lets get some after school?"

"Right. Two twelve-year-olds shopping for condoms? Yeah, that sounds like a real swell idea Naruto."

"We got porn magazines in the convenience store and we were only nine then."

"Speaking of getting... did you get the picture yet?"

"I don't know I can't check pictures while on the phone. I'm due for an upgrade around your birthday so I'll get it then."

"I'm due for an upgrade around my birthday too. Oh right, we got the phones together. Hey... shouldn't you have condoms at your house?"

"No, why?"

"Not you, per se, I meant your dad. You said he's always going out and getting research for his books so he should bound to have a few laying around."

"As far as I know he's either always carrying them with him or he's constantly running out." Sasuke shuddered. That was more about Jiraiya than he cared to know – _ever_. "I'd ask but I'm sure he'd freak out. What the hell, its worth a shot. I'll ask before I go to school."

"How much time do you have left?"

"Hm? About a half hour which means you're only gonna get about an hour of sleep."

"Fuck. Oh well, I guess its better than nothing and if anything I can just sleep in class."

"That's not something a model student should do Uchiha-chin."

"Yeah, whatever. Oh and thanks again man. Really."

"You're welcome ...and just remember that you owe me, okay? See you on the bus~"

Sasuke sighed, "back at you." Chuckling, the twelve-year-old hung up the phone. It was great to have a best friend like Naruto around; someone who would help you masturbate at five in the morning when you hit puberty even though its a school day. A person who would help you unconditionally, despite playful ridicule, and wouldn't judge. Sasuke had to wonder if he took Naruto's kindness for granted sometimes but he did just as many things for Naruto as Naruto did for him. Having a brother like Itachi made Sasuke eternally grateful to have his brother's complete opposite in his corner. The twelve-year-old cleaned then flushed the toilet and washed his hands again before slowly opening the bathroom door and looking around. It would do him no good to have Itachi pop up in front of him ...like last time.

Once the coast was clear, Sasuke stepped out of the bathroom then quietly closed the door behind him before sprinting to his bed diving under his disheveled covers. He still all movement briefly waiting for any sounds, particularly the ones that might be coming from his brother, before nestling comfortably under his covers.

… …

Sasuke had no idea how long he was asleep for but the sunlight rudely shone into his room – whose windows were absent from both curtains and any other sort of sun blocking device – waking him up. Narrowing his eyes, the twelve-year-old pulled the covers over his face and rolled over so his back was facing the sun. He fully intended on going back to sleep when the covers were harshly ripped from his grasp.

Just when he was about to curse out whoever did that he shrank back seeing his brother smiling at him. Itachi smiling was never a good thing; it was often synonymous with doom. "Good morning Sasuke." He greeted a bit too chipper for Sasuke's liking. "How did you manage last night? This morning... you know what I mean. I bet Naruto-kun was really helpful, wasn't he?"

Sasuke bolted from his bed hitting his head on the top bunk again, "what?" He asked rubbing his head. He _really_ needed to stop doing that.

"Feigning ignorance are we?" Itachi shook his head. "Must we go through this same song and dance repeatedly? Give me a little credit Sasuke I'm perfectly aware of you not taking my offered help then hypocritically calling your best friend asking him for help."

Sasuke merely stared at his brother wide eyed. If he said anything it would just have the gears in Itachi's head turning and he'd know what was going on – at the same time he'd be on the ass end of an ass kicking if he kept Itachi out of the loop. Which was the lesser of two evils? Risking broken bones or never being able to face his brother again? Hmmm... he'd have to go with the former on this one.

The twelve-year-old was about to get out of bed when he remembered he wasn't wearing any pants so he settled for glaring at his brother. "I have to take a shower for school."

"Don't let me stop you." Muttering under his breath, Sasuke grabbed the blanket over his covers and wrapped it around him before he hauled ass to the bathroom shutting the door. Itachi heard his little brother slam his head against the bathroom door and he couldn't help but chuckle. Sometimes Sasuke was so damn fun to mess with. The sixteen-year-old glanced at Sasuke's cellphone which was partially under his pillow. Now Itachi knew Sasuke called his best friend to help him out because in some bizarre way it was less weird to have your best friend give his input about your first orgasm as opposed to your older brother. Who knew?

Shrugging, Itachi flipped through the contents of Sasuke's phone. Yes it was an invasion of privacy but so fucking what? Sasuke was twelve, no wait... _he was twelve and a half _or some shit like that, so he wasn't entitled to any real privacy – at least not where Itachi was concerned. Besides there would be nothing in his phone but stupid pictures of a pair of twelve year old idiots doing dumb shit. First thing Itachi did was scroll through the list of contacts which was a complete waste of time since Sasuke had no friends other than his best friend of eight years and who the hell knew why Naruto put up with Sasuke sometimes. Other than that it was just members of the family (i.e. Itachi, their mother, their father, their cousin or something Obito and Itachi's godfather Kakashi who was like family so he fit into that category). Next was his apps which was another waste of time since Sasuke was anything but techno savvy; the only apps on the twelve-year-old's phone were built in and rarely used – if they were used at all. Finally, Itachi took a gander at the pictures and wasn't surprised in the least when he saw the two idiots together in almost every picture. Oh look, there was a picture of a plate of onigiri. That was ...different. Itachi sighed. Damn Sasuke was boring; that was his initial thought until he froze staring at a picture of what he hoped was lotion on the toilet bowl. Was Sasuke so fucking bored that he took a picture of his _semen_ and saved it on his phone?

Itachi returned the phone to its original position raising an eyebrow at the wallpaper he almost didn't notice. He was half expecting to see the two idiots making faces or obscene gestures but it was a picture something he couldn't quite make out and he didn't really get the chance to because Sasuke snatched the phone from the bed. "Don't you know its rude to look through people's stuff?"

"Its also rude to take pictures of yourself masturbating."

Sasuke was about to retort when their mother called them from downstairs. "Itachi! Sasuke! Hurry up, your bus should be here any minute!" Grumbling under his breath, Sasuke stormed passed Itachi stomping downstairs startling their mother. "Oh! Good morning sweetie." She kissed her second born on the cheek.

"I'm not feeling too good mom... can I stay home today?"

"Ah what?" Itachi walked down the stairs elbowing his brother. "You're not gonna buy that are you? He's faking it."

"You don't know that." The blue-haired woman ruffled Sasuke's already unruly hair. "I'll let you stay home but I have to work today. Will you be alright by yourself?" Sasuke nodded.

"Mom, you're seriously going to let him stay home? Just like that? You're not even gonna take his temperature or anything?"

"Oh honey, under normal circumstances I would love to indulge you but I'm going to be late for work." She kissed her first born on the forehead. "Sasuke, no matter what you're going to school tomorrow." The twelve-year-old nodded slowly. "Good. Love you." Blowing a kiss at both of them, the blue-haired woman put her shoes on then walked out the door.

Sasuke gulped as Itachi glared at him. "This isn't over otōto, I'll deal with you when I get home." Itachi continued to glare at his brother as he put his shoes on then he walked out of the house closing and locking the door behind him.

Sasuke sighed in relief. He was home alone~ A newly pubescent twelve-year-old in a house alone? Nah. Playing yourself would get kind of tiring if he did it all day so for now he was just going to go back to sleep.

… …

Sasuke awoke for the second – technically the third – time today and, once again, he banged his head on the bottom of the top bunk. "Shit..." He muttered rubbing his head. In the three years they had that thing he never got used to it. He had several bruises to prove said fact. Yawning, he got out of bed and stretched. In his haste to get back to bed he kept his uniform on and now it was wrinkled. Great. Sighing, he shrugged off his jacket then pulled his pants down.

A loud whistle caught his attention and Sasuke turned to the door. "Now that's a sight for sore eyes~" Sasuke defensively pulled his pants up as he saw a grinning, bespectacled blond leaned in the doorway with his hands loosely gripping his backpack. "Don't tell me the show is over dattebayo?"

"What the hell are you even doing here Naruto?"

"Isn't it obvious? Shit. And you call me stupid." Sasuke glared at the blond walking into the room and making himself comfortable on the bed. "Oh don't stop on my account."

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's whiskered cheeks stretching them. "Did you skip school?"

"Hell nah!" Sasuke released his face. "Mikoto-san asked me to check on you after school but that was after Itachi-nī threatened to castrate me if I left early." The blond showed Sasuke his phone as prove; the time on the screen read 5:47pm. Sasuke blinked at the wallpaper which displayed a dancing bowl of steaming ramen. Only Naruto could have something so obnoxious and think it was okay.

"So mom asked you to play nurse for me?" His response was Naruto waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Stop that perv." He slapped Naruto on the forehead. "I can't believe mom doesn't think I can take care of myself..."

"Come on dude, I don't think that's why she called me ya know?"

Sasuke looked him up and down, "I guess. Oh! Before you ask, I didn't tell nīsan about my dream."

"I'd ask if you were out of your mind if you did dattebayo."

"However..." Naruto rose both eyebrows, "he did ask what we spoke about this morning and because I didn't tell him he said he'd deal with me later which could be any minute."

"Hey man, you never know..." Naruto shrugged flopping back on Sasuke's bed, "he might just make your dream a reality."

"Don't even joke about that shit Naruto."

"Well, you had the entire house to yourself since this morning so you had to think about it ttebayo."

"Of course I thought about ..._you know_, but I wasn't hard so I didn't see the point." Sasuke shrugged taking off his pants and throwing them at Naruto's face. Then, he pulled out a pair of pants from the drawer in his bed and put them on. He took the pants off Naruto's face then hung it up along with his jacket against the outside of the bathroom door. "You hungry?"

"Sure!" The duo left the bedroom and headed downstairs to the kitchen, "exactly what did you do here today?'

"Sleep."

"All day?"

Sasuke nodded. "You forget that I didn't get much sleep due to ...what happened so I welcomed the extra hours." Sasuke rummaged through the refrigerator then the freezer below. "I want some fries."

"Ooh, make some burgers too~"

Sasuke looked over his shoulder and stared at the blond seated on one of the stools spinning around, "you could get off your ass and help me."

"Hey, I'm a guest dattebayo!"

"You stopped being a _guest_ here six years ago the second time you visited and my mom gushed all over you." Sighing, Naruto slid off the stool standing next to Sasuke sulking. "Don't whine dobe." Sasuke pinched the blond's whiskered cheeks again. The blond had a perfectly pinchable face and Sasuke took advantage of that fact. "I'll buy popcorn next time we see a movie."

Naruto swatted the hands away from his face, "you still owe me two tubs of popcorn dattebayo. Oh! Speaking of owe..." Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed as Naruto took a box out of his bag. "_Ta-dah~!_ May I present to you—"

"You actually bought condoms!?" Naruto grimaced allowing himself to be embraced by Sasuke. "You're the best usuratonkachi, this is better than those tomato pattern pajamas you gave me for my birthday last year."

"Routine dental work is better than those teme." Sasuke glared at him. "Anyway, I didn't buy them for you... Sai did."

Naruto sighed as he was released and stared at incredulously. "You told him?"

"Chill out would you ttebayo? What good would it do me to tell him?" Sasuke stared at him unconvinced. "I simply asked if he would be willing to buy something for me and he said okay. The consent age is thirteen so he had a better chance of getting them than I did. Or would you have preferred to wait another month and a half and get them yourself?"

"Did you tell him they were for me?"

"As if you need another reason to hate him ttebayo? Of course I didn't tell him they were for you! I just said I needed condoms for experimental reasons." Sasuke facepalmed. "You know I'm not a good liar! Anyway, getting off the subject I'm tacking on the favors you owe me."

"I know, I owe you two favors for today and who knows how many more. Lets just say its an even fifty."

"Sounds good to me although it was nowhere near fifty."

"What!?"

"Let's make some food, hm?"

… …

Gray eyes slowly opened to the obnoxious blaring of Itachi's alarm clock. As the siblings attended the same school – despite their four year age difference because the school they attended was both a junior and a senior high school – it made more sense to have one alarm set for both of them then have the brothers go through the hilarious daily battle of being the first to use the shower. Sasuke usually lost due to Itachi being a jerk... a faster, _bigger_ jerk. Wait! Sasuke stared at the top bunk listening for any sounds other than the alarm. Once he didn't hear the sound of his brother getting up or the sound of the alarm going off Sasuke rolled out of bed then tip toed into the bathroom closing the door behind him. He looked around the bathroom making sure Itachi wasn't already inside then did a mental cheer. He got to use the shower first today! Whistling, he turned on the water and disrobed.

Meanwhile on the other side of the bathroom Itachi slowly rose from bed yawning after he could no longer take the sound of his alarm. He glared at the alarm clock hanging on his wall then shut it off with a sigh. Yesterday was hell, pure and simple. It started off with his sleep getting disrupted due to his little brother's pubescent shrieking, then the bus came late which made him late for school, next he had a test in damn near every class, after that it rained during outdoor physical education and to top everything off he was pretty certain someone stole his jacket. Oh but how was Sasuke's day? Yes, Itachi had to wonder about that. The little shit hit puberty and got a free day doing who knows what. When Itachi hit puberty it was in school (physical education of all things) so he obviously didn't get the luxury of relaxing at home to deal with his body's new found rebellion.

When Itachi got home last night he saw Sasuke and Naruto cramming pizza into one another's mouths so he left them to their devices and retired early. He clearly wasn't in the mood to deal with their stupidity.

Sasuke chose that exact moment to exit the bathroom clad in the Myōboku High uniform – a gray gakuran that loosely encased his scrawny, underdeveloped body devoid of any sort of musculature.

"Damn, took you long enough. I could only imagine what you did in there." Itachi shook his head coming down the bunk bed ladder. Sasuke blushed but instead of turning pink or red like most normal people, the twelve-year-old's skin tone actually lightened when he blushed as in the case of right now. Itachi figured this particular ...phenomenon was hereditary because it happened with their mother as well. "No, I won't even bother. Its too easy." The sixteen-year-old commented walking past his brother going into the bathroom.

As Itachi was in the shower, Sasuke unbuttoned his pants to take two paper bags out of said article of clothing. Their uniforms didn't have pockets so this was his only option. He walked over to his bed, opened the bag to check the contents, then stuffed said bag into his bed drawer under his mattress. With the other paper bag, he put it in a plastic bag then threw the bag in the trash under his computer desk. As rare as it was, Naruto was right – those condoms worked wonderfully. Not only was there no mess with his early morning ejaculation but Itachi would be none the wiser since there was no evidence to bust him. Sasuke was fortunate to stash a paper bag full of condoms in the secret compartment in the bathroom and he had another paper bag in his bed drawer. The latter was risky but Itachi didn't go through his stuff (excluding his phone) because Sasuke deliberately kept his shit messy so it would be too much trouble to look through. Which explained why Itachi never found the pornographic magazines he had in his bookshelf. It was the perfect ruse putting them there; they weren't hidden to bring about suspicion nor were they in plain sight to be obvious. Taking his jacket off the bathroom door Sasuke put it on and buttoned it up, then he buttoned his pants up again. It was June so students were permitted to wear their spring/summer (i.e. warmer weather) uniforms but Sasuke wasn't all that willing to yet. Plus it wasn't even hot outside.

A fully clothed Itachi emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later wearing his spring uniform which was a gray button-up shirt and navy pants. Since Itachi's gakuran jacket disappeared after physical education yesterday he didn't really have much of a choice but to wear this. Damn he hated this uniform.

Sasuke took a look at his brother. The sixteen-year-old's hair was mussed falling down below his shoulder instead of its usual maintained ponytail. Unlike most schools, Myōboku High accepted long hair for their males as long as it was neatly in a ponytail or something. Sasuke didn't know the exact rules nor did he give a damn about them since he didn't have long hair.

The sixteen-year-old easily put his hair in its ponytail. The high school student's spring uniforms had ties and as a student in the advance placement class he had a pin on his collar. Sasuke was also in an advance placement class so he had a pin on his collar too but those pins didn't look like the high school pins. There were also roman numeral pins on the other side of the collar on everyone's uniform signaling what grade they were in.

"Sasuke! You're not missing school again today." Mikoto called down from the bottom of the stairs. "You're not skipping either Itachi!"

The brothers slowly walked down the stairs staring at their beaming mother. "Good morning to my two handsome sons~"

"Morning..." Was the simultaneous, less enthusiastic reply.

"Do you two want anything to eat?" Sasuke's eyes widened as did Itachi's. Their mother... what could be said about Uchiha Mikoto? She was a sweet, selfless, caring, wonderful woman – most of the time – but she was a dreadfully horrible cook. Like, _inedible_ awful. The last time Sasuke ate her cooking for breakfast he was in the infirmary an entire day then the day after. But how did you tell your mother she was a bad cook? Uh, you didn't. Unless you had some sort of death wish.

"We really should be going mom." Itachi said.

"Oh... well I have money for both of your lunches then. I didn't get the chance to make anything since I was working last night but I'm off today so I'll make something."

"Or we can order takeout?" Sasuke suggested with a shrug. "So you don't have to worry about..."

"—Slaving in the kitchen." Itachi added. "You deserve a break."

"Why thank you boys. We'll order out then." The boys sighed in relief. "Right, the money..." The twelve-year-old nodded taking his wallet out of his bag. With no pockets (in both uniform versions or the alternate) and he wasn't going to put anything in his shoe locker other than his shoes his backpack was his only option – it never left his side anyway.

Courtesy of Naruto, Sasuke opened his frog shaped wallet and his mother put several rolled up bills in there chuckling. It looked like the frog was opening its mouth when it opened. Sasuke had no idea where Naruto got something so gaudy but the blond seemed to be as obsessed with frogs as he was with the color orange. Sasuke often hoped with all the time they spent together his taste would rub off on Naruto but to no avail. He was even more hopeful that Naruto's tastes wouldn't rub off on him and so far he was fortunate.

Itachi's wallet was next to have money put in it but he had a normal, boring black leather wallet. Mikoto kissed her first born on the cheek then her second. "Oh! I almost forgot, I need to talk to Itachi for a second?" Nodding, Sasuke put his shoes on in the genkan then left the house saying goodbye.

"Is something the matter mom?"

"No... I just want you to keep an eye on your brother." Mikoto sighed, "I can't help but worry about him sometimes. He hasn't made any friends since... well he's never made a friend! Other than Naruto-kun and that was eight years ago." The blue-haired woman sighed again, "don't get me wrong I love Naruto-kun like a son but I just wish Sasuke could make more friends we could grow to love."

"_We_?"

"Admit it. You love Naruto-kun just as much as you love Sasuke." Itachi shrugged muttering a meh. "Just think of how many more people can love Sasuke as much as we do."

"Hmm... as tempting as the though is I don't think its physically possible for Sasuke to make friends given his personality. Its best for him to just have one or two true friends than thousands of fake ones, right?" Itachi headed over to the genkan toeing on his shoes. "But on the subject of love. You should be happy to know he has accumulated quite the impressive fanbase and its not because he's my little brother either."

"That really does not make me feel better. I don't care about Sasuke being popular, I want him to have friends. Yes, I agree with him having less real friends as opposed to internet or fake ones that use him for his looks." Mikoto sighed once more, "you don't know what its like worrying about Sasuke all the time. You know how depressed he gets when Naruto-kun goes on trips with Jiraiya-san."

"Then let Sasuke go with them?" Itachi paused staring at his mother, "are you trying to detach Naruto-kun and Sasuke? Is that what this is about?"

"No! I...I just want Sasuke to have other people to lean on. He's been with Naruto-kun for eight years... that's more than half of his life."

"Exactly, those idiots are like different halves of the same person; platonic soul mates or something. In most cases Naruto-kun is all Sasuke needs. I'm sure when he's older he'll accommodate you but for now I think its best to let nature deal with this sort of thing. Besides, as his older brother it is my sworn civic duty making sure he does not turn into a hikikomori and Naruto-kun will definitely not allow that either. Sasuke's got three people in that school looking out for him so there is no problem. Well if you include my friends its more than three but I digress. Sasuke may be a bit socially ...unbalanced but he could be a lot worse."

Mikoto sighed again, "true. Although I'm not too certain that Kakashi-kun is looking out for Sasuke. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. Thanks sweetie."

"Don't mention it. Love you."

"Love you too." She walked over to the genkan kissing Itachi on the cheek. The bus stop was less than five minutes away from the Uchiha household. It was located near the kōban at the end of the street in case of any trouble and there was a lot of trouble considering the bus was full of junior and senior high school students and not just those going to Myōboku either; there were like three schools in the surrounding area or something plus a university, not to mention the adults that boarded due to the places of employment around. Once Itachi got to the bus stop he saw Sasuke leaning back against the bench.

Itachi figured one reason why their mother – despite what she said – was so ..._weird_ about Sasuke and Naruto's friendship was the blond lived in another town who knows how far from here and Sasuke was always going over there for one reason or another. Sure he asked in advanced but he was there more than he was home. Another reason might have been Naruto's father but that was a whole different can of worms Itachi had no interest in opening. Sasuke leaned back more looking at his brother, "what did mom want to talk to you about?"

"You." Nodding, Sasuke put his head upright. "Speaking of talking... what exactly were you and Naruto-kun talking about yesterday that had to be continued last night?"

"Stupid twelve-year-old stuff, you wouldn't be interested in it."

Itachi glared at him. Sasuke wasn't exactly an expert when it came to keeping secrets or lying so he'd avoid the subject altogether to save his ass. No matter, as tight lipped as his brother was Itachi would find out one way or another.

Sasuke must have seen the bus coming because he got off the bench and started stretching. On the subject of the bus, Itachi never actually asked Naruto how many stops were between the blond's and theirs nor exactly how long it took to get here but when the bus came Naruto was normally on it. If the twelve-year-old wasn't on the bus it meant he was either skipping or Jiraiya was giving him a lift – it could also mean he missed the bus and settled on the train. The one reason why Naruto didn't take the train on a regular basis was because there was no stop remotely close to the Uchiha house. If they didn't take the bus to school everyday together Sasuke would bitch at him (Itachi, _not Naruto_) and that wasn't something the sixteen-year-old wanted to put up with so early. An hour and a half listening to Sasuke bitching was not appealing in the slightest.

The bus came to a halt and everyone boarded in a semi-orderly fashion. Itachi walked behind his brother going to the back where the bespectacled blond was sprawled out with his legs on a black-haired boy who really didn't seem to mind. Not only was this a way to get some sleep as a potential nocturnal insomniac might need but it also saved Sasuke a seat. Of course when the bus was crowded Naruto couldn't really get away with this and he merely leaned on the black-haired boy's shoulder.

The black-haired boy in question looked up from the book he was presumably reading seeing Itachi and Sasuke approach. "Ohayō senpai, ohayō Sasuke-kun." The boy easily slid over putting the blond's upper body on his lap and the legs on the now seated Sasuke. Itachi nodded his greeting grabbing an empty seat in front of Sasuke steering clear from yet another fight the two of them would undoubtedly engage in. If their mother only saw Sasuke's daily school behavior she wouldn't bother questioning his ability to form friendships.

In most instances that whole 'your friend is my friend' scenario was true for best friends as close as Sasuke and Naruto but Shimura Sai was the antithesis to that statement, he wasn't the _sole_ antithesis but Itachi knew Sasuke detested Sai more than any of the other people Naruto was acquainted with. For reasons beyond comprehension, Sasuke could not tolerate the mere presence of Sai and he had the feeling the black-haired thirteen-year-old knew this and deliberately did things to piss him off. Sai was (close to a year older) and in the grade above Naruto and himself but since Sai and Naruto lived in the same neighborhood they rode the bus together everyday for the entire time.

Itachi watched the display out of the corner of his eyes waiting for something to happen. Sai glanced down at Naruto who had a bit of drool coming out of his open mouth. Even for someone as unnaturally cute as Naruto the scene wasn't too attractive. Sai then poked the blond's whiskered cheek causing him to stir rolling over so that he was snuggling into the black-haired boy's abdomen. Sighing in relief, Sai resumed reading his opened book.

Sasuke had absolutely no comprehensible idea why Naruto and Sai were friends or even associated with one another other than the fact that they lived close by and attended the same school. The hyperactive, bespectacled blond befriended the strangest of individuals and Sasuke – _unfortunately_ – had to include himself in that particular category. If it wasn't for Naruto's curious nature and penchant for bright colors they wouldn't be as close as they were now so it wasn't necessarily a bad thing that Naruto was friendly however if his friendly nature brought on more weirdos like Sai the bad clearly outweighed the good.

Naruto rolled over again before suddenly springing up somehow fitting perfectly between Sasuke and Sai. The blond adjusted his glasses looking to the right at Sai before turning to his left seeing his best friend. "Hey." He greeted. Sasuke stared at the azure eyes behind clear lenses and sighed mumbling his greeting. It was disgustingly hard to stay mad at or even get mad at Naruto – at least it was difficult for him, he couldn't really speak for anyone else. "Check it out, I got new glasses dattebayo." He took them off handing them to Sasuke who inspected them.

Naruto was terribly farsighted (he was also shortsighted but that was irrelevant) so he often squinted when trying to see things up close. His latest pair of eye-wear had orange frames – no real surprise there. Sasuke wondered when Naruto would get a pair of glasses with his favorite color. The last few pairs were either navy or black and there was even a pair of brown frames. Jiraiya must have no longer cared since he let the blond get these because when Sasuke went to Naruto's second to last appointment the blond picked out a bright orange frame and was rebuffed. This particular pair was red-orange which was probably why it wasn't too awful to look at. "You didn't have these on yesterday."

Naruto tilted his head to the left, "I didn't?" Sasuke shook his head. "That's right! Dad took them home after my doctor's appointment."

"You told me you didn't skip school."

"I didn't. I went to school as usual then dad took me out for the appointment then he brought me back."

"That seems like a lot of work."

"It was but its okay. I don't need truancy coming after my ass again. Oh, get this..." Naruto began taking his glasses back from Sasuke. "Sensei said my vision is correcting itself because I'm not doing that thing I used to do anymore. So, long story short, I might not even need to wear glasses anymore dattebayo!"

"That's great but you've been wearing glasses since I've known you so it'll take some getting use to not seeing you with them."

"Speaking of getting use to..." Sasuke flinched as Naruto bounced impossibly closer to him wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "did it work?" Sasuke nodded. "That means you did it this morning, right?"

"I don't really want to talk about this right now but I did."

"How am I supposed to find out what happened dattebayo?"

"Maybe you could ask after school or another time when we're not on a bus full of people?"

"Alright, alright. I get it..."

Nearly forty minutes later the bus reached their stop and about half of the people on board exited heading toward Myōboku High School a block down from the stop. Sasuke walked ahead with Itachi listening to Naruto loudly marvel at Sai's supposed 'artwork' on the sketchpad perpetually glued to the thirteen-year-old's side. "I must say your jealousy is downright adorable otōto." The twelve-year-old glanced up at his brother. "Naruto-kun's friendship with Shimura-kun and the fact that you two aren't even in the same class because you're in the 'advance placement' class while he's with the 'regulars' you can't monopolize his time like you did in elementary school and that is what makes this situation cute."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I?" Itachi stared at him momentarily before nodding. Sasuke's eyes narrowed at Itachi's expression but before he could comment Naruto happily bounced over to them as they entered the building.

"Bye Sai, see ya at lunch ttebayo!" The bespectacled blond shucked off his shoes taking his uwabaki out of his shoe locker replacing them with his orange sneakers. The blond, as always, was also wearing an orange undershirt with his slightly unbuttoned gakuran; he also had orange earrings and an orange wristband on. Naruto was all about expressing his individuality that much was certain but it would seem that the public morals committee would be on the blond's ass yet again but either Naruto really adored the extra attention or he didn't seem to care that he kept 'breaking the rules.' Regardless of the reason, he kept doing it.

Itachi patted the blond on the head ruffling his already unruly hair. "I'll see you two around. Gotta head to my shoe locker." The sixteen-year-old gave his brother and brother's best friend the two fingered salute before disappearing around the corner with the other high school shoe lockers.

As he was putting on his uwabaki, Sasuke looked down noticing Naruto's slippers had an orange stripe going across them. Yup, the public morals committee would definitely be on his ass today. "When did you get time to trick out your slippers? You didn't have those on Wednesday."

Naruto looked down examining his footwear, "dad bought a whole bunch of them because they were on sale. He brought these yesterday when my old uwabaki got destroyed in a miniature volcano explosion in art class." Sasuke gaped at him. Did he say his slippers were _destroyed_? In an explosion during art class? What the hell kind of art were they doing? "You want me to get a navy pair for you?"

"Sure. I don't think I'll wear them to school though, I don't want to get as much attention as you."

"Come on dude, I can't be the only one in the school without boring white uwabaki?" Sasuke shrugged, "you serious right now ttebayo?" After closing their shoe lockers the duo began walking down the hall until a loud gurgling noise made Naruto stop, "was that your stomach?" Grimacing, Sasuke nodded.

"Mom offered to make breakfast so nīsan and I practically ran out of the house." Sasuke sighed, "I'm fucking starving... and I should have gone to the convenience store while I was waiting for the damn bus."

Tsking, Naruto took a box of tomato flavored pretz and tapped it against Sasuke's head. "You'd be so screwed without me dattebayo." Sasuke nodded in agreement while stuffing his face. Naruto watched in rapt fascination as Sasuke eagerly gobbled up the entire box taking minimal breaks. "Damn..."

"You're the best." Sasuke said patting the blond the shoulder. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Remember you're coming to my classroom at lunch. You forgot didn't you?" Sasuke blinked at Naruto for a second before shaking his head. Since they started junior high over two months ago Naruto always came to Sasuke's classroom so they could eat lunch together whether it was in the classroom, the hallway, or on the 'forbidden' rooftop but for some reason Sasuke never ate lunch in Naruto's classroom. With the blond's voracious (sometimes inhuman) appetite, Sasuke was sure Naruto ate lunch in his class as well as Sasuke's when he visited.

Prior to Sasuke's current internal predicament he told Naruto he'd eat lunch with him in his class although he couldn't remember why. Chalk it up to one of the many favors he owed Naruto. Nevertheless, hanging out with Naruto for eight years made Sasuke a man of his word so he'd do it whatever the reason and knowing Naruto it was definitely a stupid reason he was glad not to remember but that didn't mean he shouldn't honor it.

"Don't insult me baka, I'll be there." The blond merely stared adjusting his glasses. "Stop giving me that skeptical look. I said I'll be there so I'll be there." Shrugging, Naruto started walking up the stairs. "I'll see you at lunch!" Sasuke yelled standing by the staircase before he trudged into his classroom. Before he stepped inside his classroom the intercom screeched loudly causing everyone in the vicinity to cover their ears from its horrid sound.

"_Ahem! Testing... testing... testing!? Is this thing on? What? It is! Oh! Alright then. Ahem. Uchiha Sasuke of class 1-2 please report to Principal Ōnoki's office immediately. Thank you. I repeat, Uchiha Sasuke of class 1-2 to the principal's office. Thank you."_ Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed at the ceiling. The principal's office? He was never called there before. The teacher glanced in his direction nodding before turning his attention back to the rest of the class.

"What did you do?" Naruto asked coming down the stairs.

"What did _I_ do? I didn't do anything! A-At least I don't think I did anything. Mom knows I missed school yesterday so I don't know what could have happened..."

"This isn't elementary school, dattebayo, you're not gonna get called to the office because of something _I_ did. This is all you bro." Shit! The blond was right! In elementary school, particularly their last three years, whenever Naruto did something or even thought of doing something he and Sasuke were called to the office. There were often times in which only Sasuke was called to prevent Naruto from doing something – as if he could. But they were first years in junior high, mere nobodies – although Naruto spent a good amount of time in the principal's office even though the school year just began. Sasuke sighed and Naruto reassuringly patted him on the back. "I'm sure its nothing, you're like a good student and whatever. Hey, maybe Itachi-nī did something and you need to be there?"

"I suppose, in theory, that might be the case but you forget that nīsan doesn't do anything wrong because he's fucking perfect." Naruto shrugged then Sasuke sighed again. "I'll see you at lunch, hopefully." Nodding, Naruto trudged back up the stairs while Sasuke headed to the office.

Unfortunately both the principal and the vice principal's offices were located in the 'high school part' of this ever confusing building due to the sole bullshit reason of senior high school students getting into more trouble than junior high school students – clearly Naruto was the antithesis. Myōboku was solely a senior high school until just a few years ago but no one knew why they changed it. Here might have been called the 'high school part' but there were several junior high classrooms located here; coincidentally the part of the building were Sasuke was in was the 'junior high part' with mostly junior high classes though there were a couple of high school classrooms.

As he was walking a couple of females whistled and cooed loudly at him. Blushing, Sasuke picked up the place. That was but one of the reasons why he hated coming here! Some of those high school girls had no shame considering he had to be at least three years younger than them! He was already flushed due to hitting puberty yesterday so he didn't need some kind of misunderstanding that would get him felt up by an upperclassman. Not that being felt up would be a bad thing.

"Sasuke?" The twelve-year-old's eyes widened at the sound of his brother's voice. "You get called to the office too?" Itachi sighed, "what did you do now?"

"I didn't do anything." He hissed. "Maybe you did something."

"I doubt I did anything wrong and even if I did it wouldn't concern you." As Sasuke began grumbling to himself Itachi knocked on the principal's door and it was answered with a gruff enter. The siblings exchanged brief glances before opening the doors.

"Ah! Itachi-kun, Sasuke-kun. Come in. Shut the door, would you?" Itachi walked in first and Sasuke followed suit closing the door before taking the empty seat next to his brother. Sasuke was surprised to see their parents occupying the two chairs on the other side of him. It figures Itachi would leave that seat just for him. Whatever was going on had to be pretty bad to have both of them there. "Alright, now that we're all here—" The white-haired man looked up as an endowed redhead came barreling into the room.

"Sorry Ōnoki-san." She said bowing. "I was tied up with something. Greetings Uchiha family." She said walking over to the white-haired man's chair sitting on the edge.

"As I was saying..." He began again glancing at the vice principal who shrugged. "We're all here now so lets begin... I'd like to introduce you to our new transfer student in the foreign exchange program." A side door opened and a bespectacled redhead walked in heading to the desk bowing timidly. "This is Senju Karin-kun."

Sasuke and Itachi glanced at the girl then exchanged questionable glances before returning their attention to the principal. "Why are we meeting her?" Itachi asked before Sasuke had the opportunity to.

Ōnoki stared at their parents and their father, Fugaku, stared right back at him unflinchingly while Mikoto seemed as confused as her children – if anything the blue-haired woman seemed a bit more confused. "I'll assume no one told you Senju-kun is going to live with you?" The siblings stared blankly at the principal. How the hell could you not tell your kids some girl, a complete stranger, was going to _live_ with them? Especially when your kids were at 'impressionable' ages? Itachi knew their mother always wanted a daughter (the fact that she had both of them dress up like girls in their younger days was proof enough) but she could have at least told them beforehand. However, judging by her shocked expression she wasn't all that knowledgeable about this situation herself. It was typical of their father to pull a stunt like this without consulting anyone nor giving a damn; the man was barely home anyway.

Fugaku didn't seem the least bit concerned about the awkward silence going on; he also didn't seem too concerned with his wife staring incredulously at him. While his father was sitting there clearly not giving a shit, Sasuke took the opportunity to stare at the girl who was blushing slightly. She was already in her spring uniform and she had an advance placement pin on the collar opposite her roman numeral _I_ collar.

"Senju-kun will be in class 1-2." Sasuke wasn't surprised. He would have facepalmed but he didn't see the point right now. This girl was either in 1-2 because she was considered 'smart' by the higher-ups or they wanted her to be closer to her new housemate.

"Speaking of class..." Fugaku began still wearing his I don't give a shit expression. "Is Sasuke's uniform ready yet?"

"Huh? Ah, yes!" The redhead happily pulled out a brand new gakuran from the wardrobe beside her. Ōnoki took it from her handing it to Fugaku. "That one should fit better than the one he is wearing."

"I don't see how it could fit any worse." Fugaku said handing the twelve-year-old the gakuran. Sasuke looked at the article of clothing in question with disdain. He noticed there were two uniforms in the clear bag; a warmer and a cooler uniform. Sasuke had to admit he enjoyed the extra room his clothing provided especially now when it completely concealed his half-mast erection. It wasn't as though Sasuke was the shortest first year in the school, he was a full six centimeters taller than Naruto and the blond wasn't even the shortest first year (although he certainly was in contention) but Jiraiya refused to give Naruto a bigger gakuran since he said the blond would eventually grow into it – or so he'd hope. Fugaku, however, didn't share that sentiment taking it upon himself to get Sasuke two custom made uniforms which cost a pretty yen no doubt but apparently an advance placement student should wear fitted and not loose clothing. "Change into that." Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed, "also..." Sasuke's lip quirked into a frown but he continued to look at the uniform. "Take Karin-chan back to class with you." The siblings stared at the nodding white-haired man. "If that is all Ōnoki-san I will take my leave." Fugaku stood suddenly and Mikoto got up too still staring at her husband questionably. He bowed at the principal then vice principal before leaving.

"Fugaku wait!" Mikoto sighed then turned to her first born. "Itachi, please make sure Karin-chan makes it home alright. I... I should be there..." Itachi didn't like the way the woman said the word _should_ especially while she trailed off. As their father was rarely home with work or whatever there was no doubt in either sibling's mind that she was going to be with him until he had to leave again. Sex was a possibility although it wasn't implied but Itachi did not want another sibling – especially if it turned out to be anything like Sasuke not to mention the twelve-year-old did not want to give up his position as the baby; though he might enjoy being able to tell someone what to do without repercussions.

Seeing as how he didn't have much of a choice, Itachi nodded watching their mother leave. Ōnoki glanced at the siblings who sat in their seats with blank expressions. "Now that everything is taken care of you three can head back to class." The siblings exchanged glances before standing and getting the hell out of that place with the redhead following suit.

The siblings walked out of the office in silence until Itachi paused glancing at the girl behind them. "Karin-chan, right?" The bespectacled girl's head snapped up as she nodded enthusiastically. "I gotta make sure this idiot gets dressed correctly so we'll be back." Before Sasuke could voice his protest Itachi shoved him into the boys' bathroom.

"What's the deal nīsan? I can dress myself!"

"Evidently you can't, shithead, or we wouldn't be in this situation now get in there and strip." Grumbling under his breath, Sasuke stomped into one of the stalls then shut and locked it before gracelessly discarding his clothing throwing them over the stall and Itachi caught them easily. Whenever their mother shoved them into dressing rooms they used this same highly effective, often entertaining method to get clothes to and from one another faster. Itachi glanced at the bag in his hand. "Sasuke?" The twelve-year-old stuck his head out of the stall, "aren't you forgetting something?"

Eyes widening, Sasuke glanced at his clothes in Itachi's hands. He was only wearing a pair of boxerbriefs right now. "C-Can I have my uniform nīsan?"

Itachi poorly attempted to stifle his laughter. "I'd take a picture but I'm feeling generous right now." Itachi handed Sasuke the spring uniform holding it back as the twelve-year-old grimaced. "Take it or leave it otōto."

Sighing in defeat, Sasuke held his hand out and Itachi happily gave him the uniform. A few seconds later, the stall door opened and Sasuke stood in front of his brother with his new, fitted uniform scowling. "My my... you look so damn dapper." The twelve-year-old blushed looking at himself in the mirror. He might not have known what word 'dapper' meant but judging by his reflection he could take a guess. "Your hair is still unruly as ever though." Sasuke glared at him through the mirror. "By the way... aside from you needing to change I pulled you aside to say how proud of you I was."

Sasuke turned to his brother folding his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow, "excuse me?"

"Don't make me repeat myself." Sasuke gulped. "I was surprised that you didn't lash out at father while he was barking orders at you. Hell, the man didn't so much as glance in my direction and I wanted to snap. Especially with his condescending tone."

Sasuke sighed, "oh that. I'm just sick of his shit, he shows up after Kami knows how long then drops a girl – who is probably an illegitimate daughter – on us? Its not even worth getting upset over, as you say its impossible to decipher him so why bother?"

"Why otōto, that is probably the most sensible thing I have ever heard you say ...although I'm not entirely sure it counts since I was the one who originally said it." Itachi tapped his chin oblivious to Sasuke staring at him, or he was aware and simply ignored it. "Now then, since you're all suited up we should probably get back to class and I mean get back to class." Frowning, Itachi looked down. "And just what the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" The twelve-year-old replied as he continued to readjust the front of his pants. "These pants are too tight so I'm fixing my junk."

The sixteen-year-old paused for a moment before shaking his head. "I swear I just do not understand how your shameless, deficient mind works sometimes."

"I'm not deficient! Or shameless!"

"Oh yes you are and you cannot possibly be so crass, right?" Sasuke stared at him. "You do realize just because you're in the bathroom doesn't necessarily give you privacy nor does it mean you won't warrant attention."

"Huh? Are you even still speaking Japanese?"

"Let me put this in stupid terms for you dipshit. We're young so we're going to want to ...experiment with certain things."

"Such as...?"

Itachi facepalmed then sighed, "you know what. Nevermind, I'm not going to waste my time and you don't get it anyway. Lets just get to class."

"Hold up nīsan, what do you mean I don't get it?"

"If you have to ask then its pointless for me to explain, isn't it?" Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed. "Listen, the longer you try and fail miserably to get information the less time you'll have in class."

"You say that like its a bad thing." Itachi shook his head and Sasuke sighed, "damn... you really are a stickler for the rules sometimes aren't you?"

"I believe that would be the pot calling the kettle black, hm?"

Sasuke sneered at him before brushing past the sixteen-year-old slamming the bathroom door open startling the redhead. "We're going." He said not bothering to stop walking.

Itachi walked out of the bathroom shaking his head then looked down at the uniforms in his hands. "What the— _oi!_ What the hell am I supposed to do with your clothes?"

Sasuke smirked looking over his shoulder as he continued to walk. "Hold onto them for me, will you nīsan? Thanks~" Karin looked back at Itachi briefly before merrily following Sasuke and even gravitating slightly toward him. Itachi blinked scratching his head. That was new. He usually saw girls putter after his little brother but none of them ever achieved near levitating properties. Fuck, this girl was already smitten with the broody little bastard and he only said, what, two words to her? That poor, unfortunate brat; such was the fate of the Uchiha clan – blessed with good looks, cursed with overzealous and quite frankly unwanted popularity. Sasuke may not have any friends (excluding Naruto) but as Itachi told their mother he had plenty of fans around the school and Karin's existence might have just tacked one more onto that list. Itachi personally knew how painful, not to mention irritating, it was having classmates blindly hanging on his every word or following him around in pathetic attempts to get in his good graces ...or to get in his pants. The latter might not be true for... Itachi's eyes widened. Sasuke hit puberty yesterday so high school girls just might try to deflower him. Hell, Sasuke was adorable enough for some guys to want to deflower! Apparently, older kids had some kind of pubescent tracker so they'd somehow know Sasuke was ripe for the taking. Shit. Sasuke might be a broody little shit approximately ninety-nine percent of the time but he was still Itachi's precious baby brother which gave Itachi the unfortunate and potentially dangerous task of protecting said baby brother from horny groupies. If Itachi had to unbiasedly rate his own current performance he'd say he was doing a pretty decent job.

… …

When Sasuke returned to his classroom he wasn't at all surprised when his classmates swarmed Karin who brazenly wasted almost no time announcing she was a resident of the Uchiha household much to the chagrin/horror of the class; it was even more horrifying to them since Sasuke neither confirmed nor denied her statement. After the initial shock died down, the next two hours slid by at a snail's pace. By the time the lunch bell rang Sasuke was ready to spring into Naruto's classroom for lunch – although he had to admit he didn't really know where it was. As he got up he saw Karin walking toward him. Karin was seated in the front of the class and he was in the back. Anyway, he didn't need this right now.

"Sasuke-kun, do... do you want to eat lunch together?"

"Sorry new girl." An arm wrapped itself around the redhead's shoulder. "I know you live with Sasuke-kun and whatever but you might as well well know he always eats lunch with Uzumaki. Its been that way ever since first grade."

"T-Then I don't mind eating lunch with both of them." The girls glared at one another.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke sighed turning to the pink-haired girl leaning on her desk, which was next to his. "Are you going to eat lunch with Uzumaki?" Sasuke nodded slowly. "I'm heading to that class to eat lunch with my friend. We... we can walk together if that's okay with you?"

Sasuke shrugged. He really wasn't in a position to refuse. "Shikamaru, we're going to Ino's class. You coming?" The black-haired boy in the desk on the other side of Sasuke's rose his head nodding. He yawned then stood.

Karin and the brunette watched the trio walk out of the classroom not missing the smirk the pink-haired girl gave them. "What the hell was that?!" Karin asked. "You saw the face she made!?"

"Yeah, Haruno's a real bitch." The brunette cracked her knuckles after she removed her hand from Karin's shoulder. "Oh right. I'm Kurotsuchi, the principal's my grandfather. Are you really living with Sasuke-kun?" Karin nodded.

"What's the deal with him leaving? Who is this Uzumaki kid Sasuke-kun always eats lunch with? Are they like dating or something and if so is she really pretty? I guess she must be pretty to be with Sasuke-kun. Also, do you think I still might have a shot if they broke up?"

The brunette burst out laughing wiping the forming tears from her eyes. "Oh you." She took a deep breath calming herself. "Don't start jumping to conclusions. Sasuke-kun isn't dating anyone, at least I don't think he is. And he and Uzumaki have been best friends forever so its not a girl. I guess he's considered 'adorable' but he's too much of a troublemaker for my tastes. Finally for your last question... hell no! There isn't a girl in this school that has a shot with a fox like Sasuke-kun. I mean, I'm the best looking girl in this class next to Hyūga-chan and even _I _don't stand a chance. Word around the rumor mill is he's into older partners."

"I see... so is that why no one has a chance?"

Kurotsuchi sighed. "More or less... you see Sasuke-kun is like artwork. Like the kind of pictures you see in an expensive museum? You enjoy looking at it and touching it is fun but its for display purposes only – owning it will damage the value and ruin the image for others!" Karin scratched her head. "You understand what I'm telling you?" As the redhead stared at her blankly, the brunette sighed again. "Sasuke-kun is too damn hot for us! Full stop!"

"A-Alright, I get it. I get it! Geez, what's with him leaving. If this guy is Sasuke-kun best friend wouldn't they be in the same class?"

"Opposites attract new girl. Haruno's best friend is the complete opposite of her – well not _complete_ opposite but opposite enough. Besides, what good would it do cramming all the geniuses in one class? But they did stick Nara in here." Kurotsuchi shrugged. "Oh well. Hey Hyūga, lets eat together~" Karin frowned as Kurotsuchi returned to her seat next to a navy-haired girl.

Meanwhile, Sasuke found himself walking up two flights of stairs. Damn, Naruto had to come up and down these stairs everyday? Shit, no wonder he had such toned legs! He glanced at the beaming pink-haired girl beside him and the yawning black-haired boy on her other side. "What do I owe you?"

"Oh don't worry about that." She said with a laugh. "You were being examined like a prime cut of beef straight from the market. I couldn't stand leaving you there so I decided to step in."

"If I saved you I definitely would ask for something in return." She elbowed the other boy. "Don't act all coy now Haruno, mendokusē... Ino's gonna have a field day."

"Quiet!" She turned to Sasuke laughing awkwardly. The trio walked the rest of the way in silence and the pink-haired girl opened the door to Naruto's classroom, class 1-7, and Sasuke's jaw dropped. The 'regular' classrooms were nothing like the advance placement classrooms. Maybe Sasuke subconsciously already knew this which was the main reason for him never coming by before? Even at lunch the students in the advance placement classrooms were neat and organized eating at their desks or their friend's desks but this... the only way to describe it would be chaos! Students were sprawled out all over the damn place! They were on sitting on the desks, leaning against the windowsill, there were even a few kids on the floor! "Come get us when you're ready to go back, okay?"

Sasuke nodded and they both strolled over to a desk where a blonde was sitting. She turned to both of them giving them a big hug, seated in the desk was a brunet eating a bag of chips. They might have been in his class but they came here so naturally. Sasuke didn't know if they did this before but now that he thought of it sometimes they weren't in the classroom during lunch.

The school year might have just started but the black-haired boy transferred into their class about a week or so ago. While Sasuke didn't know what class he transferred from he knew he was put in class 1-2 because his genius achieved megalomaniac properties but because of his lethargic, lackadaisical attitude and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder his grades were less than stellar. His ingeniousness might explain why he was always falling asleep in class yet getting every answer on a quiz correctly and his laziness explained why he rarely bothered to pick up a pencil and write. An attention deficit genius was clearly not a good thing as an idle mind was the devil's workshop. If he was really so smart perhaps they should have allowed him to skip a grade level (or a few) but the word around the rumor mill was he was offered to skip three grades and be a high school first year but he declined. The only reason why Sasuke knew about this, aside from the information being known throughout the school, was because the principal told them (once again) as the black-haired boy was being escorted to the classroom.

Sasuke began walking to Naruto's desk when he realized the blond wasn't even in the classroom not to mention he had no idea which desk belonged to Naruto although taking a look he might be able to guess. Before he had the chance to investigate he was tapped on the shoulder. "Yo!"

"Hey..." Sasuke eyed the large paper bag in Naruto's hands, "someone's hungry."

"They're not all for me. Hold on a sec, would you?" Sasuke nodded slowly watching the grinning blond walk over to the sensei's desk. "Oi! I got the bread!" The entire classroom erupted into a chorus of cheers. "Lets see... there's melonpan, anpan and curry bread. I also have some rice bread."

"Don't forget the taiyaki man." Sasuke watched in awe as an absurdly tall white-haired boy walked into the room dropping another large paper bag next to Naruto's.

Sasuke watched in unadulterated interest as students piled over to the sensei's desk. Naruto and the white-haired boy gave out the bread in the bags receiving money in exchange. Was Naruto _hustling_ lunch food? Once they were finished and the entire class was busy stuffing their faces with various breads Naruto beckoned Sasuke over. "Here, I left curry bread for you dattebayo." Sasuke glanced down at the bread in his best friend's hand before looking up at the hand's owner. "Or did you want something else?"

"Is this _free_?"

"Of course its free. I wouldn't charge you for food... your tab would be really high since we've been sharing food forever."

"Alright, what about them? Are you selling food to them?"

"Well..." Sasuke rose an eyebrow suspiciously. "I guess you could say that. I'm not really selling so much as I'm giving what they paid for. You see because I'm so short I can squeeze through the crowds at the bread carts easily. I buy as much as I can with the money dad gives me – assuming he gives me any – and I get paid in exchange for the bread."

"Does this happen everyday?"

"No, its sort of a weekly thing."

"Hey, who's the pretty boy Naru?"

"Pretty b—_oh!_ You mean him?" Naruto jerked his thumb toward Sasuke. "Uh, this guy's Sasuke. He's my best friend since way back. Sasuke, this is Suigetsu." Sasuke bowed as did the white-haired boy.

Naruto gasped as an arm wrapped itself around his shoulder taking the bread out of his hand. "Thanks as always Naruto-kun." The blond blushed slightly when the long-haired newcomer kissed him on the cheek. Judging by the spring uniform and voice this was by far the prettiest boy Sasuke ever laid eyes on ...unless it was a crossdresser making it the prettiest girl Sasuke ever saw. "Who is your friend?"

"Its Sasuke." Suigetsu said while stuffing his face.

"What? _Oh,_ hi! I'm Yuki Haku." The long-haired boy said bowing. "Please treat me kindly." Sasuke bowed back. "I'll pay you back for my bread tomorrow okay? Today's pay day so you'll get it at lunch tomorrow. Unless you want to come to work with me?"

"Aren't you a third year? How are you allowed to have a job?"

Suigetsu gulped as Haku glared at him. "As long as I keep my grades up I'm permitted to work. Now I gotta get back to class. I'm digging the new specs Naruto-kun, very classy." Haku turned to Sasuke. "Nice meeting you Uchiha-kōhai~" He winked at the blue-haired boy before walking out of the classroom.

"Oh crap, Haku-senpai ate your food." Naruto rummaged through the bag taking out another curry bread. "Here, you might want to take this before someone else does dattebayo." Frowning, Naruto looked over his best friend. "Uh, weren't you wearing something different earlier?"

"My dad stopped by to give me this."

"But you told me you didn't like the spring uniform."

Sasuke sighed taking the offered food. "I don't. Thanks." The blue-haired boy took a bite out of his bread silently humming in appreciation. "Tell me something..." Naruto stared at Sasuke who swallowed the bread in his mouth. "Do you get visits like this often?"

"Yeah. This is the 'bad' class. The legendary 1-7 which is comprised of the worst students of all the first years." Sasuke nodded. Yeah, he heard something like that from the principal a while ago. "Almost everyone who comes by used to be here. Then there are others who have friends here. You know how it is dattebayo."

"So, Sasuke-kun, you in class 1-3 or 1-1?"

"1-2." Both Suigetsu and Naruto whistled; although Sasuke wasn't sure why the blond did – one would think he would have thought he would know the number of his best friend's class considering he walked past the classroom every damn day. But who was Sasuke to talk because he didn't know what class Naruto was in. His class, although not numbered one, was the highest of the advance placement classes... or at least that was what the students were told but truthfully Sasuke couldn't care less. As long as his parents (particularly his father) thought he was in the smartest class he didn't mind if that was true or not. Actually none of the 1 classes were set to have the 'smartest' students for some reason or another. Out of the eight first year junior high classrooms three were considered 'advance' and four were mediocre while this one, for the delinquents, was labeled borderline remedial.

"Hello Naruto-kun, what's this? I see my little brother is here too." The class silently watched in a mixture of awe and some other incomprehensible emotion as the sixteen-year-old fully came into the room. Sasuke shook his head as Itachi seemingly glided inside the room like he did in his nightmare yesterday morning. Sasuke shook his head again. He did not want to go down that route again – it took every ounce of existing willpower for him not to get hard especially with his pants not being as comfortable as his old pair. "I heard about your latest dash to the bread cart." The sixteen-year-old eyed Sasuke's half eaten bread and took a bite out of it. Sasuke's eyes widened. His hormone frazzled mind did not need this kind of stimulation! The way Itachi was licking his lips was not helping matters.

Naruto glanced at Sasuke seeing his best friend began to foam at the mouth watching his brother eat. As his best friend, Naruto did the only thing he could do: shove another bread in Sasuke's opened mouth. "I really wasn't that amazing or anything dattebayo." He elbowed Sasuke who shook out of his stupor. "So, what's up Itachi-nī?"

"Not much, just coming to check on you." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. Itachi came to check on Naruto during the day? He was lucky to see Itachi during the school day and he was just checking up on his little brother's best friend like it was no big deal? What the hell was up with that?! Of course, Sasuke did see Itachi today with the whole awkwardness in the principal's office. "I was told you swiped all of the taiyaki so I was hoping that I could have one?"

Blushing slightly, Suigetsu took one out of the bag. "H-Here Itachi-senpai, free of charge."

Itachi smirked taking the fish shaped cake from the white-haired boy's hands deliberately letting their fingers touch briefly in the process. "Why thank you Hōzuki-kun." The white-haired boy's blush seemed to deepen as he nodded shakily going back to his own bread.

The entire school went on lunch at the same time which enabled the high school students to interact with the junior high or like in Sasuke's case hang out with your best friend that wasn't in your class. Itachi deposited himself on the desk next to the now fidgeting and still blushing Suigetsu. The sixteen-year-old must have done this often if he was so used to it. Sasuke had to admit that he felt sorry for Suigetsu who was having trouble eating with Itachi in such a close proximity to him. Hell, even Sasuke had trouble composing himself around Itachi sometimes... especially now that he was pubescent and prone to fantasizing.

"I should probably get back to class before traffic gets backed up." Itachi slid off the desk. "Shall I walk you back?"

Before Sasuke could reply Naruto wrapped an arm around his shoulder, "I got it ttebayo." The two boys exchanged glances quickly before looking back at Itachi with Sasuke nodding in agreement.

"Right, in that case you two better hurry." He glanced at the two twelve-year-olds narrowing his eyes slightly. "See you."

Naruto waved as did Suigetsu while Sasuke sighed in relief. "Thanks... so, does nīsan visit often?"

"Yeah but don't worry its not like he tells embarrassing stories or shows us pictures of you or anything."

Sasuke gaped at him. "Did he _use to_?"

"Uh... the stories weren't that embarrassing." Sasuke facepalmed, "and if its any consolation he didn't stay for very long."

"Any consolation? My brother is seeking my best friend, how is that supposed to make me feel!?"

"Not good when you put it that way dattebayo..." Naruto frowned slightly.

"_Psst!_" Naruto slowly turned to the doorway where Sai's head and one of his hands were beckoning him over. Hesitantly, the blond complied walking over to him. "Hi. Oh, Sasuke-kun is here."

"Yup. Did you want something dattebayo?"

Sai glanced down at the half-eaten bread in the blond's hands. "Just a bite." He said lifting Naruto's hands to about lip level then taking about out of the aforementioned bread. "Now I feel better. See you at gym Naruto-kun."

Naruto headed back to the sensei's desk staring at the bread in his hands furrowing his eyebrows at the large crescent shaped emptiness where his bread used to be. "H-He bit my bread!"

"I saw him. He's _your_ friend." Naruto glared at him. "What? He is."

"Okay, okay. Hm?" A white-haired man walked into the classroom with a clipboard in his hands. "Sasuke-kun, you are in the wrong classroom."

"We're eating lunch together." Naruto replied.

"That's great, get away from my desk so I can sit down." The three twelve-year-olds reluctantly complied as the white-haired man sat in his seat.

"We ran out of curry bread but I have some taiyaki and melonpan left dattebayo." Naruto said picking up one bag while Sasuke hesitantly picked up the other.

"I'll take one of each thank you." The white-haired man said taking a bread out of each bag. "As always, its a pleasure doing business with you Uzumaki-kun."

"I'm pretty sure its illegal for you to be doing business with a student." Sasuke said narrowing his eyes.

"Its not illegal. Its perfectly legit. Now don't you have to get back to class?"

"Not yet."

"Hey how come you're so early Kakashi-sensei? Were you promised some kind of prize or something?" The white-haired man glanced at Suigetsu now resting his chin on the desk.

"Why Hōzuki-kun, I'm insulted, I am nothing if not punctual." Violet eyes narrowed and a white eyebrow was raised. "Alright fine. I was promised something if I got back before lunch ended. Speaking of which have you spoken to your brother today Sasuke-kun?"

"Aside from the fact that _I live with him_, he was just here but he went back to class."

"I think you should do the same."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll get out of your hair Kakashi."

"That's Kakashi-**sensei**." The white-haired man sighed, "_hey!_ You two aren't in this class either!" Sasuke's classmates got off the desks they were sitting on then trudged out of the classroom mumbling. "Alright everyone, hurry up and finish lunch so we can begin with our lesson." As if on cue the bell rang.

The homeroom sensei for class 1-7 was definitely a fitting one. Hatake Kakashi was a carefree sensei and the only one that could deal with the 'delinquents' of 1-7 without losing his mind. Granted, the white-haired man was a delinquent in his own right and rarely showed up in his class before the students. He never marked any student late because he wasn't hypocritical. Despite his unusual methods, Kakashi was one of – if not –_ the_ best senseis around and was well respected throughout the entire school by co-workers and students alike.

As he was getting his stuff situated he glanced at the blond taking his seat in the second row. As a branded 'troublemaker' Naruto was forbidden from sitting in the back of the classroom. It was a direct order from the principal so no one was crazy enough to break it. Well, Kakashi might have been crazy enough to defy the principal's very specific request but he didn't want to give anyone a reason to get Naruto into trouble when he didn't do anything wrong. Despite what every other sensei said he didn't think Naruto was all that much trouble; if he was any trouble at all. Sure, the boy was a definite risk taker and was considerably reckless but... what was his point again?

As he was Itachi's godfather Kakashi spent a lot of time with Naruto who was usually in the company of Sasuke. He didn't want to be accused of nepotism so he regarded Naruto like the other students but he came to enjoy their company as well... even if they were annoying sometimes like all children.

"I need to leave briefly so study something until I return." And with that Kakashi left the classroom. As it was such a common occurrence, the students complied taking out various reading materials scanning them, actually reading, or even pretending to read.

"Naruto..." The blond turned to the left where Suigetsu was hanging partially off his desk. "I gotta ask man, how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"How are you able to talk to Itachi-senpai like its nothing? The entire class was as quiet as a ghost town and even his brother was spellbound. You know some senseis stutter in his presence right! You gotta be some kind of mutant or something! What is your secret?! You gotta share it with me!"

"Would you relax dattebayo? I've known Itachi-nī since I was four years old. He's like a big brother to me. And as for Sasuke being spellbound I'm sure he was just surprised seeing him here."

"Yeah right. You're a freak of nature and that's all there is to it."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the building where the high school students reigned supreme. Kakashi made his way over to class 5-8; it sounded like a video game level but it was a classroom for second year advance placement high school students, like Uchiha Itachi – Kakashi's godson. Ironically, class 5-8 was perhaps the only advance placement class in the entire school that had several delinquents in it – which also included Itachi. Kakashi didn't care what anyone said, Itachi was a delinquent – he had piercings, wore jewelry and picked fights with people for no apparent reason. Not physical fights but he provoked the hell out of people on a daily basis especially his little brother. Everyone was just struck dumb by the boy's genius and good looks to see anything else. But Kakashi knew the Uchiha Itachi beneath the surface. He understood why Sasuke complained about his older brother but like most little brothers no one seemed to believe him.

The Uchiha and Hatake clans were old family friends from several generations back so Kakashi was surprised to be the godfather of a child only ten years younger than he was but who was he to complain? Someone clearly had an idea that seemed reasonable at the time although no one told Kakashi was said idea was. As fate would have it, despite what Kakashi originally thought, he turned out to be an excellent stand-in father/older brother for his godson and by extension his godson's baby brother and by further extension an excellent older brother figure to his godson's baby brother's best friend. He taught the kids everything they needed to know in their father's absence. Things that only a father (or in this case a stand-in father) could teach his son or sons. The best part about it was Kakashi actually liked helping out... it was as enjoyable as coming to school everyday which was something the white-haired man never thought he would say considering his miserable life as a high school student. He knocked on the door before sticking his head inside. The students all slowly turned to the white-haired man in the doorway far too used to it to be surprised or even comment on it. "I need Itachi-kun, Asuma-sensei~" The black-haired man nodded tilting his head in Kakashi's direction. Much like the Uchiha clan, the Sarutobi clan were family friends of the Hatake's so the two senseis grew up together.

Itachi slowly stood then walked over to the white-haired man who closed the shōji door behind the sixteen-year-old. "Hello Kakashi-san." Itachi greeted, "no wait... its Kakashi-_sensei_, right?"

"Hello Itachi-kun..." Even through his surgical mask Itachi just knew the white-haired man was beaming. "I made it on time, I was actually a bit early to be exact, you can ask Naruto if you don't believe me. In fact you could even ask Sasuke because he was there. As an added measure I even recorded getting back to the classroom before the bell."

"Sasuke was in Naruto-kun's class?"

"He said you were there, how could you not know?"

"No. I know he was there I just thought he left before the bell rang."

"He did." Kakashi nodded. "Anyway, lets talk about my surprise?"

"Wha—? You couldn't wait until school was over? You actually left your class just to get a surprise?" Sighing, Itachi took out a tiny square box from the top of his sock then placed it in Kakashi's hand. "I heard Kurenai-sensei talk about it."

"So what is it?"

"That's kind of the whole point of a surprise, you're supposed to find out." After narrowing his eyes, Kakashi opened the box raising an eyebrow. Inside the tiny box was a very, very small book. If it was a real book it would be impossible to read under normal circumstances. Kakashi might have excellent vision, despite the vertical scar going through his left eye, but even he would find reading such small print difficult. The white-haired man took the book out examining it. "Its a charm." The sixteen-year-old sighed; sometimes dealing with Kakashi was worse than dealing with Sasuke. "Don't give me that look, its only part of your surprise." Itachi beckoned the curious man over then whispered one word in his ear. "Walnuts."

Startled, Kakashi turned to the teen. "What?"

"No no, I can't say anymore I need to head back to class as I'm sure you do as well. We'll talk more at home." Kakashi stared dumbfounded at the empty space in front of him.

The white-haired man was floored, he stared at the sixteen-year-old walk back into his classroom sliding the shōji door closed behind him. A sixteen-year-old got the best of him? Again!? Granted, Itachi was no ordinary sixteen-year-old and Kakashi probably was to blame.

Itachi was a genius and rather than nurture his intellect like any 'parent' was supposed to do, Kakashi chose to dismiss it. Kakashi himself was revered to as a genius as well so seeing another one wasn't of any interest to him. Mikoto didn't dote on Itachi like she did with Sasuke so for years her first born son was left to his own devices. Even before Sasuke was born Mikoto didn't really deal with Itachi because he was so independent at such a young age not needing his mother for most things basically potty training himself and teaching himself to walk and talk with no parental influence. He was an autodidact much like Kakashi was.

So when Sasuke was born and although he was smart and a fast learner too, he still struggled with certain things which Mikoto loved. She not only doted on Sasuke 24/7 but she spoiled him making him unable to even exist without her help until he was four and Itachi stepped in making Sasuke more independent like he was. Especially since he would be starting school. Incidentally, Sasuke's bout with independence came right around the time he met Naruto which made him want to be even more independent because other four year old kids were doing things he couldn't. Which, in turn, made him shy away from his mother proving he was a big boy like all the other kids who no longer metaphorically needed to hold their mother's hand.

As they grew up they relied on their mother like any pair of sons maybe a bit more considering they were both mama's boys but Kakashi could see Mikoto was keeping up a happy facade. If he didn't view the blue-haired woman as an older sister Kakashi would be more than happy to physically console Mikoto if necessary. Besides, older sister figure or not Uchiha Fugaku would undoubtedly beat the hell out of him if he touched his wife. It made Kakashi wonder if a man with such an unstoppable jealous rage could flip out with no provocation why the hell did he willingly leave his very attractive wife for months at a time?

Sighing, Kakashi saw no other option than to return to his classroom. He slowly made his way back to the class staring at the so called delinquents – the students were all seated at their desks, a few of them slept while the rest read or chatted quietly with the person next to them. He didn't know why everyone complained about them so much. They weren't nearly as bad as everyone pegged them to be – unless they were just well behaved around him. Sure, they had the occasional smartass response which Kakashi eagerly had a retort to but other than that they were the best class he taught. Teaching his homeroom class was more fun than he expected. It was the advanced placement classes he had trouble with. The kids there swore they were the cream of the crop since they were considered 'smarter' then the others but that wasn't the case; most of the 'ordinary' kids did work at advance class levels didn't want to be apart of that spectrum. Kakashi believed Sasuke was apart of that group but he was forced into being in an advance placement class by his parents, particularly his father... oh and, of course, the principal.

"Alright!" Kakashi clapped his hands together startling the class and awaking a few of them. "I'm back so lets do something sciency, shall we?"

"Kakashi-sensei, I don't think sciency is a word." Suigetsu said raising his hand. "I got a dictionary app on my phone if you're not sure."

"You can check your phone..." Kakashi approached the white-haired boy's desk holding out his hand, "after class." Sighing, Suigetsu reluctantly put his phone in the white-haired man's hand as he headed to the front of the class. "We have approximately twenty-three minutes of class time left. Does anyone have a suggestion on what we should do?"

"How about nothing?" A brunet in the back of the class asked raising his hand.

"No. Next suggestion?"

"We can do self-study?" Naruto suggested.

"Hm... no." The blond's jaw dropped. "I don't want to have Ōnoki-san on my ass asking me why I'm not teaching you kids anything." The white-haired man tapped his chin that was covered with his surgical mask. Kakashi had terrible allergies so he was usually wearing a mask to protect himself from the elements, especially now that it was spring, plus it created a shroud of mystery because he wore a different mask almost everyday and most students didn't know what he looked like under it. Most teachers didn't know either.

"Kakashi-sensei?" The white-haired man's head snapped toward his students staring at him. Almost everyone subtly pointed or jerked their heads to the door which opened as if on cue.

Kakashi watched as Ōnoki walked into the classroom; due to the man's height some of the students had to lean forward to see him. It was sort of funny that the principal was shorter than about ninety-nine percent of his students. "Just doing routine checks." He said looking around the classroom. "I hope they aren't giving you too much trouble Kakashi."

"Not at all Ōnoki-san, they're little angels." Ōnoki rose an eyebrow as the students all beamed at him.

"Is that so...? Well what have you been teaching them today?" Shit. Kakashi was a quick thinker but it would difficult getting out of this situation. Naturally, no one other than the students knew he left frequently. Couple that with Ōnoki being not exactly fond of him when he was in high school made for one boring ass lecture.

"I've—"

A blonde in the back of the class rose her hand. "Ōnoki-san, we were reviewing botany." She said with a smile that Kakashi knew meant he owed her for saving his ass.

Ōnoki rose an eyebrow. "Botany?"

"Botany is the science of plant life." If anyone knew anything about flowers and plants it was the blonde. Even though he was still unconvinced he nodded.

"They'll be well-rounded in many aspects of science, hm?"

Kakashi nodded. "Its never a bad thing to have knowledge of all the aspects of science."

"You're right Kakashi." He glanced at the students skeptically before walking out of the classroom. Once he was gone everyone sighed in relief and relaxed in their seats.

"Well, that took most of the rest of the class so get ready for your next one." Kakashi glanced at the grinning blonde. "Thank you Yamanaka-chan, its always a pleasure."

"No thanks necessary Kakashi-sensei."

"Uh, Kakashi-sensei, can I get my phone back now?"

"Why of course Hōzuki-kun." Kakashi approached the twelve-year-old with the phone in his hand.

Suigetsu gulped. "I-I'm not gonna have to do anything right?" Kakashi shook his head then Suigetsu cautiously took the phone from his hands.

… …

Sasuke panted against the closed front door attempting to get some much needed air into his lungs. He shouldn't have run into the house but he was worried someone would see him getting in so late and relay the message to his mother or worse Itachi. After getting yet another thorough ass kicking in physical education the school day ended and Itachi had taken the girl with him on the bus ride home to do who knows what which meant Sasuke was free to spend his night bullshitting with his best friend~

Sasuke finally removed himself from the genkan after a few minutes and put his slippers on as he headed upstairs. Sasuke rode the bus home with Itachi but he told his brother he was going to hang out with Naruto. Though the sixteen-year-old didn't say he was upset his tone implied otherwise because as Itachi was getting off the bus with the redhead he seemed torn between strangling Sasuke and taking him off the bus by force and when he did neither it made Sasuke more than just a little worried. Fortunately, two and a half hours of playing video games, guzzling gallons of root beer and skimming through pornographic magazines made him forget... until just now.

The twelve-year-old dragged his already tired body up the stairs gently tossing his bag on his bed before trudging to the bathroom undressing. Even though it made little sense to close the door when no one was home it made even less sense to leave it open when you didn't know when you'd no longer be alone in the house. Still, he was already in the room so he'd just close the bathroom door in case someone came home while he was showering; which happened more often than not. Another thing that made little sense was to put on clothes now just to take them off to shower so he stripped down to his boxers, folded his clothing then placed it in a corner before running his water.

The twelve-year-old stared at the tub until the water reached its appropriate height then he turned it off. He experimentally dipped a toe into the water and nodded at the temperature. Sasuke discarded his final article of clothing then sank about shoulder length into water sighing in appreciation.

There was nothing better than taking a nice hot bath in Sasuke's opinion; especially if said bath was a bubble bath. Yes sir, one could never go wrong with having bubbles accompanying you while relaxing in the tub. Sasuke let out another sigh of content and glanced at his cellphone on the floor next to his boxers. Shrugging, he slowly got out of the tub and in all his nakedness walked to the bedroom and grabbed his headphones from the laptop on the floor next to his bed then he returned to the bathroom and plugged his headphones into the cellphone and went back in the tub listening to music.

Friday nights just did not get better than this. After his bath he'd enjoy some dinner and television. As a twelve-year-old Sasuke figured he should eat something unhealthy that tasted amazing, that way he could shoulder more blame on Itachi for not being here – a literal terminology of having one's cake and eating it too~

Leaning his head back against the tiled wall, Sasuke sank further into the tub putting his left arm in the tub allowed it to venture down experimentally squeezing his cock. If this was going to be a biweekly habit he might as well do it concealed in warm, bubbly water. Come to think of it, biweekly might not be enough if he did it already this morning and felt the need to do it again. He didn't need a schedule or whatever he'd just play it by ear.

During the two and a half hours of bullshitting, he and Naruto headed to a bookstore which sold lots of books pertaining to sex. Normally, books of that nature weren't sold to anyone under twenty but it seemed as though Naruto got a free pass being Jiraiya's adopted son. Apparently having a famous adult novelist for a father had some rather interesting perks. The bookstore cashier made the assumption that Jiraiya was asking Naruto to pick up materials for research which the white-haired man did often and contrary to popular belief Naruto was not dumb enough to correct the man. Though the books they bought were for Sasuke's use and benefit they were currently held in the blond's possession since Sasuke couldn't afford to have them in his home without getting assaulted by questions he truly could not answer. Yes, Sasuke had hoards of porn in his bookshelf but these particular books were not something he wanted Itachi accidentally stumbling upon.

The twelve-year-old bit his lip to keep the noises spilling from his lips at bay but even that was difficult and his mouth was starting to hurt. He felt the precome seeping out of his tip so he breathed a sigh of relief. Gray eyes slowly opened and widened seeing Itachi looming overhead. Please don't tell him he was dreaming again. "Nīsan?" He pulled the headphones off his ears with his right hand. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"My my, look at you..." Itachi smirked and Sasuke gulped audibly. His eyes were closed for quite some time so he had no idea how long his brother was there. "You got the atmosphere down don't you? Music, lighting and bubbles? All you're missing is some scented candles." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Come now Sasuke, no pun intended, don't give your nīsan such a frightening look. I just wanted to tell you I want to stop by Obito's for some sweets. I'd hate to interrupt your bath time but we gotta go now so we can come back and make dinner." Sasuke slunk further into the bathtub as Itachi leaned forward. "Its hard to explain but I'm in the mood for cake with a lot of vanilla frosting. _Thick, creamy, sticky _frosting."

Sasuke stared at him. There was little else he could do in this situation. He tried keeping a neutral expression when Itachi started talking about thick, creamy and sticky things that had his cock twitching in his hand. Yes, his hand was still massaging his cock and didn't seem to want to stop. It was incredibly fortunate that Itachi's brotherly x-ray vision couldn't penetrate the barrier the bubbles formed. It was also fortunate that the bubbles didn't dissipate. "Why can't you go by yourself?" Sasuke was silently thankful his voice came out even.

"Its simple really..." Sasuke stared at the sixteen-year-old who tapped his chin before sitting on the edge of the bathtub. "I don't want to." Sasuke's jaw dropped. "Oh... and though I may not be able to see what you're doing I _know_ what you're doing." Oh fuck, now Itachi could read minds? The sixteen-year-old sighed. "I'm not reading your mind..." Sasuke gaped at him. He wasn't reading his mind?! Like hell he wasn't! "Listen. I was a stupid, hormonal individual too so I know what you are going through more or less and I never thought of masturbating in our shared bathroom with bubbles—"

"Why are you just getting home?"

"Silly otōto changing the subject like that." Itachi shook his head, "tsk tsk. Not that it is any of your business but we got home hours ago, like you saw when we got off the bus. While you indulged yourself with some friend time I granted myself the same liberty. But, unlike you, I didn't feel the need to do it a few towns over. We stepped out briefly before you got home. It was a coincidence really. But now I'm curious as to why you were just coming home so late?"

"I was just with Naruto."

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Do you have to sit there?"

"Changing the subject again? You're not very good at conversing, are you?" Sasuke glared at him. "Tell you what." Itachi stood stretching. "You have fifteen minutes to ...finish or I'm dragging your naked, bubbly ass down the street." With his deceptively innocent smile, he turned to his little brother. "Do we have an understanding, otōto?"

"Yeah yeah."

"Good. Now remember the fifteen minutes is when we leave not when you get out of the tub. And make sure you clean the tub when you're done."

"You want me to finish taking a shower and clean it not to mention get dressed in just fifteen minutes?"

"Yup. So you'd better hurry." Sasuke glowered at his brother's retreating back until Itachi closed the door behind him. That Jedi mindreading fuck just enjoyed making him miserable. Sighing, he looked down realizing he was still hard – or rather he got hard from getting scolded by his brother. Great, he was a pervert and not just a regular pervert either. What kind of fucking sicko got off on being yelled at? The twelve-year-old furrowed his eyebrows. If he had less than fifteen minutes to finish he might as well get started... or continue. He brought his right hand down with his left massaging every nook and cranky of his cock and balls trying to find some sort of stimulation – twisting, pulling, stroking, squeezing, doing everything imaginable until semen shot out. Gray eyes snapped up to the wall clock hanging above the bathroom door. Fuck, twelve minutes passed and he wasn't even done yet!

Opening the drain, Sasuke stood turning on the tap allowing the water to fall on him. After bathing, he took a shower to rinse off the excess bath water. Itachi often told him it made no sense and bathing in general was a waste of water as opposed to showering especially if you showered afterwards anyway but Sasuke liked doing it so he was going to continue whether Itachi wanted him to or not. Despite what he often said, the sixteen-year-old was not the boss of him. Shit! It didn't matter how fast he was going there was absolutely no time for him to clean the tub. Fuck it, he'd just do that when he got back. It would be foolish of him to see if Itachi was bluffing or not. Sasuke made sure not to over stimulate his already hypersensitive penis as he speed washed the hell out of his body then turned the tap off running out of the bathroom not even bothering to get a towel on. He got one pant leg in when Itachi swung the door open exactly fifteen minutes after he left. The sixteen-year-old chuckled looking his disheveled brother over. "Well I suppose I'll wait for you to get dressed this time."

After Sasuke got dressed, the trio headed to the bakery. Uchiha Obito greeted his baby cousins with a bear hug as soon as they walked through the door; he regarded the redhead briefly before releasing them. "Oh! I'm sorry. My name's Obito." He bowed.

"K-Karin." The redhead replied bowing back. Unlike the rest of the Uchiha clan, at least the ones she met in the past two days, this one had to be the friendliest. The patriarch, Fugaku, had her staying with some of his relatives yesterday before her transfer and none of them seemed too pleased to have a stranger, a foreigner in their home. She wasn't even a foreigner! Technically, she was Japanese, just not born here. It wasn't that big of a deal, was it!?

"Well, welcome to my business Karin-chan." The redhead couldn't help but smile back at the smile she was getting. "Ah! I made you guys donuts." Obito produced a box from out of nowhere.

Sasuke eyed the box suspiciously, "another failed batch?"

Chuckling nervously, he put the box in Sasuke's hands. "Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't say failed..." He cleared his throat. "I made onigiri too~" Obito held up a plastic bag and Sasuke's eyes lit up. Onigiri was to Sasuke what ramen was to Naruto. The two of them visited a store that solely made onigiri and Naruto had to drag him out of there before he spent all of his money there. "Isn't it great having a pâtissier in the family? See what I did there? It sounds so much fancier than just saying pastry chef doesn't it?" He nodded to himself. "By the way, Mikoto-nē told me to watch you guys but that's kind of impossible with the evening rush coming in but I'll call you guys and whatever. You two are old enough not to burn the house down when you're by yourselves."

"Uh, Obito-san." Karin blushed slightly when he glanced at her. "Is it alright for you to be giving them food if its so busy?"

"If I don't feed them no one would. Besides..." He jerked his thumb toward Sasuke beaming and practically salivating at the plastic bag in his hand. "Sasuke-kun is much more approachable after he's fed especially with onigiri."

"You might want to make sure he doesn't eat any before dinner. I'd hate for him to spoil his appetite." Itachi said to the redhead who blushed further. Nodding, she walked over to Sasuke who gave her the box of donuts then cradled the bag with onigiri.

"I forgot to mention I made dango too and takoyaki." Itachi rose an eyebrow at him. "What? Don't worry about the onigiri although I'm not sure its a good idea to have so many different aphrodisiacs in them. I saffroned the hell out of them. If Sasuke eats even one he'll be a sweltering, libidinous mess and I'm sure you don't want that around Karin-chan."

"Libidinous hm? I see you've been hanging around Kakashi again." Obito chuckled. "Anyway don't worry about the girl, although its an unexpected setback its nothing I can't handle."

"What if she eats the onigiri?" Itachi paused. "I mean... if Sasuke lets her taste one or even a piece? What then?"

"That... I hadn't thought of." Obito facepalmed. "Sasuke rarely lets me eat any onigiri, and he usually shares all of his food with me, but like I said don't worry. I'm merely giving my baby brother the Uchiha male's rite of passage so what's that without a couple of stumbling blocks? Its no different from what you and Shisui did to me when I was going through puberty."

"I can't believe Sasuke hit puberty. It seems like only last week he and Naruto-kun were snuggling in bed together during a thunderstorm."

"That _was_ last week."

"Was it?" Obito shook his head. "A-Anyway, as for your 'rite of passage' we locked you in a freezer, swam off with your shorts in the lake and had that paintball war that had just cleaning the house for three straight weeks but we never tried to get you lusted up and ready for a good time!" Obito sighed as Itachi blinked innocently at him. "You do realize that once he is off his lust high he's going to devote countless hours to payback, right?"

"Sasuke, get me back? He's one thousand years too early to initiate any sort of revenge against me. If you were keeping score you'd know in the twelve years of his life he's never gotten the best of me... at least without me getting him back."

"Alone yes, Sasuke is powerless against your fiendish charm, but with Naruto-kun I'll give you a resounding hell no. He's gotten you before Itachi and he can get you again. His unpredictability is a wild card – he puts my legendary pranking to shame and they're best friends so you know he'll jump at the chance to help."

"There is a method to my madness Obito-kun; I'm well prepared for Sasuke's collaboration with Naruto-kun. While Naruto-kun himself is unpredictable the fact that Sasuke will come to him for help isn't. I'll stop him before it can happen by getting Naruto-kun on my side." Itachi took out his cellphone. "As unpredictable as he is the one thing I know for certain is Naruto-kun can't resist a good prank no matter who the victim."

Obito sighed, "You sure? I'm willing to bet that Naruto won't help you get Sasuke back because as much as he enjoys a good prank he enjoys Sasuke's company a hell of a lot more."

"True. But I have to go with my gut on this one."

Obito sighed again, "I obviously can't convince you to reconsider but I'd appreciate if you did me one favor. When this whole thing backfires please don't include me or Shisui into the carnage?" Itachi nodded leaving the bakery; he saw Karin and Sasuke impatiently waiting for him.

The sixteen-year-old held the phone against his ear and after several unanswered rings he pressed the end button. Figures when he called Naruto the blond didn't pick up. What the hell was he doing anyway? He didn't have much time to ponder as he stepped inside their home taking off his shoes while Sasuke and Karin did the same. "Is it okay if I take a shower before dinner?" Itachi nodded at the redhead and she headed upstairs to her room. As they were home earlier, Itachi had the opportunity to give the twelve-year-old a tour of their house. Karin's bedroom, formerly known as the 'guest' room, was across the hall from their bedroom. With Karin upstairs the siblings were in the kitchen preparing dinner ...or at least they would have been if Sasuke hadn't dove into the bag taking out an onigiri in each hand stuffing his face. So much for him not spoiling his dinner. Sasuke was an uncontrollable onigiri eating machine – and it was only at times like this when he acted like any other adorable, ignorant twelve-year-old instead of the spiteful, smartass, sadistic bastard he was prone to behaving like.

Itachi figured he was partially to blame for Sasuke's personality. Sasuke did look up to him and often imitated him – so over the years the little brother's personality turned out to be one hundred times worse than the big brother's. Sasuke stopped behaving like Itachi a few years ago (maybe four or five) but the damage already took form; Sasuke was a twisted little fuck and Itachi only had himself to blame. The only difference was Itachi was internally an ass... sort of insulting you in your face in the nicest possible way kind of person while Sasuke's bad attitude was blatant. Itachi slowly sat down sighing; if he couldn't stop him from eating he might as well join him. He silently began eating some dango while eying Sasuke looking for any changes in his behavior. When he asked Obito for this favor, his cousin scrolled down an extensive list of food aphrodisiacs – some of which Itachi never heard of – saying he could add several of them to onigiri without being detected. Perhaps having a pâtissier relative was a good thing.

For a smartass, lazy, good for nothing twelve-year-old, Sasuke had a perceptive palate. He was able to distinguish flavors on the level of a professional chef so he would be able to tell if something was off about his food with just one bite. Sasuke's exquisite sense of taste was probably the reason why he couldn't stomach their mother's cooking ...but she truly was a bad cook and Itachi couldn't really handle it either. Of course even if Sasuke realized something was wrong it was a good chance it would be too late for him to do anything since the aphrodisiacs would take effect. Besides, Sasuke couldn't distinguish flavors of things he never ate before.

"Nīsan, wanna try some?" Itachi's right eye twitched. Sasuke rarely offered onigiri to anyone and it wasn't exactly a secret that Itachi loved onigiri as much as Sasuke even though he didn't go as insane as his little brother. If Obito laced all the onigiri as he said Itachi would be screwed taking a bite, then again refusing would screw him over even more. Fuck, talk about a lose lose situation. Still, being in puberty for about two years made Itachi able to handle his hormones better than Sasuke so the effects shouldn't be as strong. Nodding, he took an onigiri out of the bag then experimentally took a bite of it.

He glanced up at the twelve-year-old gaping. "Sasuke, what the hell?" The twelve-year-old had crumbs all over his face and two new onigiri in his hands. By his count that had to be six he already ate and two more going down the same path. Itachi only ate one in the same time frame. Though Itachi didn't know how many Obito made, it was possible for Sasuke to eat all of them without moving. "We have to eat dinner." He snatched one of the onigiri out of Sasuke's hand just as the twelve-year-old was going to bite it so he got his hand bitten in the process. Itachi winced retracted his hand from Sasuke's mouth. As the sixteen-year-old looked down at the teeth marks on his hand he made a mental note to **never** do that again. "You little shit—"

"Don't get mad at me, you shouldn't have grabbed it out of my hand." Itachi scowled before flicking Sasuke on the forehead. "Oww..."

"Fuck, you little monster, I'm going to need a booster shot now." Sasuke stuck his tongue out. "Lets get dinner started and I swear if I catch you with another onigiri in your mouth we're going to have a problem." Itachi's eyes narrowed as Sasuke stuffed the other onigiri in his hand straight in his mouth. "Move your ass." Pouting, Sasuke swallowed the onigiri in his mouth then slid off the stool pausing momentarily as he was hit by a wave of dizziness. Itachi looked over his shoulder frowning as Sasuke swayed back and forth. "What the hell? If I cook by myself, I'm eating by myself."

"You can't eat by yourself because you need to feed your new_ buddy_." Sasuke countered stumbling over to him. "You know... I-I either ate too much or you drugged me with onigiri. Whichever one it is I'm telling mom." He slumped over the counter staring at Itachi.

Chuckling, Itachi put an apron over Sasuke's hunched form tying it then slid a plate of vegetables in front of him. What most kids considered gross in terms of food (i.e. vegetables) Sasuke loved and vice versa so their mother never had to worry about tricking Sasuke to eat healthy – ironically he ate as healthy as she wanted but barely grew; Itachi on the other hand eat junk food like any other teen only eating vegetables when he had to and sprouted like there was no tomorrow.

Though it wasn't the best decision putting a sharp object in front of Sasuke, Itachi handed him the knife. He wasn't about to cook dinner for everyone alone and it was possible an inebriated Sasuke was more useful than the usual, sober Sasuke was. Nevertheless, the twelve-year-old managed to perfectly chop the vegetables without causing harm to himself or his brother. "What are we making nīsan?" He slurred glaring at his brother.

The teen put down his knife staring at Sasuke somehow glaring and pouting at him. Itachi sincerely hoped Sasuke just couldn't handle his lust and Obito didn't accidentally drug him because lust was one thing but he couldn't explain to their mother why her twelve-year-old son was intoxicated. Itachi sighed, if Obito _did_ drug him it wouldn't be the first time either... or the second.

"We're having nabe, that way mom can have some if and when she decides to come home tonight." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "If you're done with the vegetables get the portable stove." The twelve-year-old saluted before walking off. Once Sasuke was out of sight Itachi dialed hit the number four on his phone which gave him Obito's number.

"Moshi moshi~"

"Did you drug Sasuke?"

"Hello to you too Itachi. Of course I didn't drug Sasuke! At least I don't think I did... I only did what you asked, filled the onigiri with aphrodisiacs! There's saffron, ginseng, ginkgo, chocolate, avocado, honey—"

"You put _chocolate_ in onigiri?"

"Hey, I had to work with what I had! I run a bakery for crying out loud so of course I'm going to put chocolate in it! Anyway, why did you ask?"

"I asked because he's acting crazier than normal."

Itachi's eyes narrowed at the phone as he heard Obito chuckle on the other line. "Then maybe Sasuke-kun is drunk with lust? Sexual desire is different for everyone. What? Yeah, I'm coming! Sorry Itachi, I need to pretend like I'm working so I'll call back to check up on you two... _three_; don't do anything I wouldn't do~"

As Itachi hung up Sasuke returned with the hotpot for their nabe but that wasn't what had the sixteen-year-old staring at him in utter disbelief. His brother changed out of his sweatpants and was now wearing a pair of loose shorts. "I'm hot..." He said leaning against the counter again. "If you poisoned me I'll never forgive you."

"Poison you? Perish the thought. I would never intentionally cause any harm or ill will toward my precious otōto." He said with a grin that had Sasuke's eyes narrowing further. "Besides, I ate the onigiri too remember? I couldn't have poisoned you without poisoning myself, could I?"

"You could have found a way." Sasuke muttered sitting on the stool putting his head on the counter. Itachi's cellphone chose that moment to ring loudly in some offbeat tune. Sasuke's head snapped up at the familiarity of that sound. "That's Naruto's ringtone! Why is Naruto calling you?"

"No idea." Itachi lied picking up. How terrible could the blond's timing be right now? And where the hell did that ringtone come from? Sighing, he pressed the talk button. "Moshi moshi?"

"Moshi moshi Itachi-nī. Do I need a higher prescription for my glasses or did you call me about a half-hour ago?" Itachi briefly glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall before remembering he was on a phone that displayed the time. Like the blond said it was approximately thirty minutes ago that he called. "Did you hang up on me?"

"No Naruto-kun, I'm here." The twelve-year-old got off the stood again and tried to move closer to Itachi but the teen held him back with his hand. "I have a favor to ask of you but I can't exactly tell you what it is with Sasuke's crazy ass trying to climb me. I know you hate texting but that's my only option right now." He heard the blond make some kind of presumable noise of understanding before they both ended the call. While trying to fend Sasuke off with his left hand he texted Naruto with the right. A while ago, Itachi heard Sasuke say something about Naruto disliking texting because he enjoyed hearing his voice as he spoke instead of the click-clack of the keys while typing a message plus he claimed that texting made you stupid with all the abbreviations and spelling errors. For someone who was loud, attention deficit and borderline obnoxious Naruto was a whiz when it came to spelling. That probably had something to do with his father being a writer.

After a few minutes he finally received a reply. Because he rarely texted, if he texted at all, Naruto's response time was a bit slow. _'That's some seriously messed up stuff!'_That was the response he was expecting or at least something along those lines. However, the response that came after wasn't. '_But I can't guarantee I'll stay out of it. Goodnight~'_

Itachi sighed shaking his head. Unpredictable as usual. Itachi looked down at Sasuke still trying to get the phone. "Stop, I'm finished." Sasuke glowered at him. "Go wash your hands and whatever I'll finish the rest."

"What rest? All you have to do is put the food in the pot." Sasuke winced as Itachi flicked him on the head again. "Okay, I'm going..."

Itachi sighed in relief as Sasuke drunkenly walked to the bathroom. Naruto said, or rather texted, that he couldn't guarantee that he would stay out of this but at the same time he never specified what he'd be staying out of. Whether it was to help Sasuke or work with Itachi was unknown and it was that feeling of uncertainty that Itachi didn't like. Dammit! There was also the possibility of him telling Sasuke.

"Itachi-san?" The sixteen-year-old turned to Karin. "I don't mean to be rude or anything but is dinner ready yet? I'm kind of hungry."

"Almost. Go get my idiot brother and by the time you two come back it should be finished." Nodding, Karin complied walking off although she didn't know where Sasuke was – perhaps that was why he said it should be done when they got back. Itachi didn't seem like the type of person to enjoy a lot of questions being hurled his way so the redhead figured she'd just take her chances walking around. As luck would have it, Sasuke came out of a door – presumably the bathroom – in a complete daze. He lazily turned to the redhead nodding briefly before walking. Karin blushed taking in Sasuke's half-lidded bedroom eyes and flushed face. "Uh, Sasuke-kun?" He slowly turned to her tilting his head; Karin had to bite her lip to keep herself from squealing. How could anyone look so cute doing absolutely nothing? The redhead shook out of her stupor. "W-When's your birthday?"

"July 23rd." He said tilting his head in the opposite direction.

"Yes! My birthday's June 20th, which makes me a month older~" She covered her mouth meaning to say that part to herself. "Uh, Itachi-san told me to get you so we can have dinner. Shall we go?" Karin blinked as he stared blankly at her before nodding slowly. How much of this cuteness could she take before imploding?

She allowed him to walk ahead of her so she could stare at his tempting ass in his loose shorts. Karin wiped her mouth sensing some drool forming. It was going to be nothing short of hell living here and going to school with him. But he looked so cute in his uniform! They made it to the kitchen after what seemed like an eternity in Karin's opinion but she wasn't complaining since she was enjoying the view. "We're having nabe in spring?"

Itachi handed an empty bowl over to the redhead. "You have a better idea?"

"N-No."

The bespectacled girl grabbed some food with her chopsticks. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Sasuke leaning forward on his stool and nearly fell over. The blue-haired boy's pant leg rode up showing more of his thighs but if that wasn't arousing enough Karin saw the telltale signs of an erection confined in the front of his tented pants. It took all of Karin's existing willpower not to get a firsthand experience of fellatio to her new housemate. Calming her nerves, as well as the rest of her body, she reached forward again putting more food in her bowl. Unfortunately, the damage had been done everything in the hotpot seemed provocative to her in some way. Noodles were making very interesting and erotic shapes and the moans coming out of Sasuke's mouth were enough to make her lose her mind! She stilled using the chopsticks as Sasuke hungrily licked his lips then dived back into his bowl slipping more noodles between his closed lips. The redhead adjusted her glasses so she could no longer see Sasuke out of the corner of her eye. It was disappointing not being able to see him but it was for the best of her sanity though nothing could conceal the noises.

"Damn otōto, you're messier than usual." Itachi said setting his bowl down giving his brother a napkin. Sasuke eagerly wiped his face off then continued to eat.

"I don't know, I can't explain it but I'm so damn hungry." He said in between bites. Sasuke's table manners were normally subpar but they were never this bad. _Side effect of the aphrodisiac_ was the mantra Itachi recited in his head – if it was anything else he was risking getting some serious grounding time, a lecture and some kind of cleaning punishment. Or worse, now that their father was still here, on top of the lecturing he'd probably get an Uchiha ass-whopping.

Itachi stared at the half eaten pot in the middle of the table, judging by how fast Sasuke was gulping down his food their mother wouldn't have anything to eat unless he stopped him. "Sasuke? Why don't you take a break with the nabe and eat some of the stuff Obito brought us?"

"You said if you caught me with another onigiri we'd have a problem..." Before Itachi could comment his cellphone started ringing. "You're awfully popular tonight nīsan."

The sixteen-year-old merely stared at him pressing the talk button. "Yeah?"

"Uh..." Itachi's eyes narrowed at the nervous chuckle on the other line. That definitely was not a good sign. "I hope you're sitting down Itachi-kun. Heh heh heh, it—it would appear as though Sasuke _is_ drunk." Itachi paled. He was _so_ getting in trouble for this. "Really, really drunk. When I did inventory I noticed I was missing four bottles of wine from my cellar... I checked the room I made your onigiri in and they were in the trash with the rest of the ingredients I used. I must have mixed them up with bottles of oil. It really isn't my fault they look the same! B-But... on the bright side wine is also an aphrodisiac~" Before Itachi could say anything Obito hung up on him. Sighing, Itachi shoved his phone back in his pocket unable to do much of anything else.

Great, thanks to Obito, Itachi now had a drunk sexed up little brother in front of an impressionable and obviously turned on girl his age. Itachi could swear Sasuke would catch on fire with the level of intensity Karin was staring at him with. The worst part was Itachi couldn't make Sasuke leave – sure he could _make_ Sasuke leave but he had a sinking suspicion Sasuke was sexually masochistic. And he couldn't make the girl leave because she was technically a guest.

Who the hell puts wine in onigiri anyway!? The more Sasuke ate the drunker he'd be so he could eat enough alcohol to make him pass out and risk alcohol poisoning or Itachi could try sobering him up. Though the former would be the obvious choice Itachi had to choose the latter to save his ass. Besides, he couldn't let Sasuke eat all the onigiri now, if they were this effective he needed to use these for another day.

He once again snatched an onigiri out of his little brother's hand fortunate this time didn't end up like the first where he got bit. Sasuke pouted at him but stopped when he replaced the onigiri with a donut. The twelve-year-old shrugged then began eating. The alcohol must have given him a tolerance for sweets so Itachi went with it. Attempting to be a good host, the sixteen-year-old offered a donut to Karin who happily accepted it. "Okay, what do you two want to do before bed? In case you were wondering, Karin-chan, bedtime is 10pm for anyone under the age of fifteen." Karin glanced at the clock that read 9:04pm. There was no way in hell she could deal with another hour of Sasuke's cuteness. "Sasuke needs plenty of sleep to fuel his grouchiness for the morning."

"If its alright Itachi-san, I'd like to go to bed now." The siblings exchanged glances before Itachi nodded. "Right. Goodnight Itachi-san, Sasuke-kun." Sasuke gave the redhead a half-assed wave as she trotted up the stairs.

"Now what?" Itachi asked glancing at Sasuke.

"We could eat more?"

"How about no you little glutton. Lets watch some TV or something and wait for mom to come home." Sasuke stared at him raising an eyebrow. "Aren't you curious about her disappearance especially if dad's back in town? She said she should be home yet she's not."

"Nīsan, mom's grown we shouldn't care what she and dad do they are married after all." Yawning, the twelve-year-old headed to the couch in the living room unceremoniously depositing his body onto it. He leaned back so that he was staring upside down at his brother. "Has anyone ever told you that you worry way too much?"

Sighing, Itachi headed over to the couch sitting next to Sasuke who put his head back in an upright position. "Has anyone ever told you you're annoying as fuck?" Sasuke nodded grinning. Shaking his head, he put his arm around Sasuke who instantly snuggled into the position. Itachi furrowed his eyebrows at the boy's flushed face and the heat radiating off of his body. Did the onigiri screw with his thermodynamics too? There was no way Itachi should be able to feel his external temperature when they were barely touching and if Sasuke was this hot on the outside he must have been achieving boiling point internally.

Itachi turned the TV on via remote then used the hand of the arm Sasuke was leaning on to feel the boy's temperature on his neck. He suppressed the urge to hiss he moved his hand. Alcohol couldn't entirely be to blame; Obito put a shitload of things inside of the onigiri could have triggered some kind of chemical reaction – chocolate was a stimulant after all.

"Are you okay?" Sasuke cutely looked up at his brother nodding. Despite Sasuke's overwhelming tendency to annoy (deliberately or otherwise), Itachi did care a great deal for his brother's well-being so he was a bit worried about how things would turn out. Sasuke yawned snuggling up closer to Itachi.

Maybe he didn't have anything to worry about, Sasuke would go to sleep and when he awoke Itachi would give him a hangover remedy assuming the miniature alcoholic was drunk and not just tipsy. Sasuke snuggled up more, as close as a date in a horror film or romantic comedy theater, pressing his apparent erection into his brother's thigh. Though he didn't move, the twelve-year-old furrowed his eyebrows almost as if he was having an out of body experience. Feeling an erection yet not knowing where it came from.

A key was heard going into the front door and it opened revealing their mother. "Mom!" Sasuke yelled trying to go to her when Itachi pulled him back.

"You idiot, do you really want mom to see you in this state?" Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows and Itachi merely pointed down. Gray eyes followed the finger pointing down at his pants.

"Hi baby." Mikoto said walking over to the couch kissing both of her children on the cheek ruffling Sasuke's already unruly hair. "Where is Karin-chan?"

"In bed." Sasuke replied. "I'm going to bed soon too." The blue-haired woman nodded.

"Good. Well, I—" She yawned. "Oh, excuse me, I guess I'll be going to be too. Goodnight."

"Night." They said watching her walk to her room which was on the ground floor. Itachi sighed in relief slumping back on the couch. That went better than he expected.

Once they heard the bedroom door close Itachi turned to Sasuke, "okay. Get your ass to bed."

"Now?" Itachi nodded. "Alright, night nīsan." The twelve-year-old shakily stood hobbling up the stairs clumsily going into their bedroom. Itachi sighed leaning back against the couch contemplating staying there for a while but he realized if Sasuke was going to stupidly peruse around the house in a drunken stupor he just might go to their mother's or Karin's room. Itachi stood, he had to be well rested to avoid that.


	2. What's good for the gander?

"_Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it'll always get you the right ones."  
- John Lennon_

* * *

Gray eyes opened and Itachi awoke to the sound of his obnoxious alarm. It was annoying as hell but it got the job done without question. Yawning, the sixteen-year-old slowly rose from the confines of his bed and stretching. Yawning once more, Itachi climbed down the ladder pausing at the bottom seeing Sasuke sprawled out on his bed with his sheets haphazardly strewn on the bed and floor and his shirt was riding up making it more apparent that he wasn't wearing any pants. It also made it apparent that he was in puberty because Itachi was greeted with the unwanted sight of his little brother's morning wood. Itachi shuddered avoiding looking lower than Sasuke's waist. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. To have his little brother's erection rubbing up against him was bad enough but now seeing it up close was even more unnerving.

Itachi poked his little brother's face seeing a puddle of drool coming out of his opened mouth. Never one to miss an opportunity, Itachi took his cellphone out from under his pillow and snapped a picture of Sasuke. This would be perfect blackmail material for a later day.

The rising and falling of Sasuke's chest indicated that he was still alive so Itachi breathed a heavy sigh of relief. This definitely was not worth gaining a criminal record over and he certainly did not want to go to prison for accidentally murdering his little brother although he would merely be an accomplice of the actual murderer which would be Obito. Besides there were more efficient ways to go about murdering Sasuke without leaving a trace but he had no reason to want to kill Sasuke now. Did he?

Shrugging that thought of, Itachi headed for the bathroom when another thought struck him. He was certain Sasuke didn't clean the bathtub after his little special alone time last night that was interrupted (by yours truly) so he should wake up the little shit and have him clean it up but Sasuke wasn't exactly in a clear mindset when he just woke up. Come to think of it Sasuke usually wasn't in a clear mindset, he was borderline insane in Itachi's opinion.

Because he was involuntarily responsible for making the twelve-year-old drunk (and horny too – Itachi had to shudder at that) he'd give him a reprieve and clean the bathtub this time but no more freebies after this. After the begrudging task of cleaning the bathtub, he had to do a thorough job because... well he didn't want to think about it, Itachi proceeded to take a shower. Once he was finished he towel dried himself and his hair while brushing his teeth and paused at the tiled floor. He had no idea why their mother chose such a color. Was she collaborating with Naruto or something? If memory served the woman said the color was _seafoam_. Itachi frowned putting the towel on his wet hair, perhaps he could talk her into redecorating? Sighing he looked down narrowing his eyes. It was tiny, barely recognizable to the naked eye, but there was a crack in one of the seafoam tiles. Great, just what he needed to start the day. Their mother would have a fit. Sighing once more, Itachi tapped the tile with his foot narrowing his eyes at the sound.

Frowning, Itachi crouched to the floor – ignoring the fact that he was naked – and lifted the tile off the floor nearly dropping it. The sixteen-year-old took a paper bag out of the tile and set the tile back before opening the bag and dropping it on the floor.

His hands were shaking. He could feel and see them. For sixteen years Itachi prided himself on being the type of individual who could keep his composure in the most dire circumstances but even the best individuals had trouble sometimes... and _this_ was one of those times. There were condoms in the bag on the floor. Correction, condoms in a bag hidden in a tile on the floor. _Condoms! _And since Itachi didn't know about the tile the only logical explanation would be that those belonged to _...they belonged to Sasuke!_ Okay, there was no reason to fly off the handle. Sasuke was twelve and he had a sex education class so he was sure they gave out condoms. But unless he took the entire class's rubbers he should not have that many! For fuck's sake he only hit puberty two days ago!

"Naruto..." Itachi's eyes narrowed. That must have been why the blond came over two nights ago! So that explained where he got them from but why did he need them? Itachi's eyes widened slightly. Was Sasuke having sex? No. Sasuke didn't like being touched unless it was by Nar...u...to. Itachi facepalmed. No! He wasn't going to jump to conclusions. The idiot was probably making balloon animals or using them as water balloons. _Or_ he was having sex. Itachi shook his head clearing that image out of his mind with some kind of intense internal bleach. Contrary to popular belief, Sasuke was a good kid (most of the time) so he'd give his brother the benefit of the doubt. Yes, he'd just wait it out. The sixteen-year-old glanced at the bag on the floor again. On second thought this called for a confrontation. Putting on his uniform, he picked up the bag and stomped out of the bathroom approaching the bunk bed where Sasuke was now sleeping in an even more hilarious position but this was not the time for that. Though Itachi did snap a quick picture for later. He dropped the bag on Sasuke's face popping the snot bubble causing the twelve-year-old to wake up in a daze. "Good morning." Itachi greeted and his reply was inaudible and garbled noises. "So, mind explaining to me why you had a bag of condoms in the bathroom?"

Whether he was hungover, half asleep, shocked or all of the above was unknown but Sasuke glanced up at Itachi. "Huh?" Itachi merely pointed to the bag that was still on Sasuke's face. With more seemingly obscene grunts, the twelve-year-old took the bag off his face and stared at it for a good thirty seconds before bolting upright in his bed. "Where did you find this?!"

"In the bathroom." Itachi folded his arms over his chest. "I must admit it was a good hiding space, planting a fake tile in the bathroom? That's the type of shit you see in spy movies." Itachi had to wonder how long that tile was in the bathroom and were there any others? Sasuke put the bag under his pillow – or he would have if Itachi didn't grab his hand. "You're not seriously going to just leave them there are you?"

"Why not? They're mine." Oh, Itachi did not need to hear that coming from his twelve-year-old baby brother's mouth.

"Why do you need condoms?"

"Because one should always practice safe—"

Itachi grabbed Sasuke by the collar. "You'd better not finish that sentence or even _think_ about sex. Am I making myself clear?"

"I was joking!" Itachi released him. "I got them for..." Sasuke sighed, "m–ma... m, m–ma, ma... mas—"

"You use condoms to masturbate?" Shuddering, Sasuke nodded. Hm, that didn't seem like a bad idea but Sasuke could not have thought of that on his own. The twelve-year-old shakily got out of bed and faceplanted right on the floor. Itachi frowned slightly ignoring the overwhelming feeling to nudge his brother with his foot. This was going to be a long day.

… …

When Karin stepped out of her shower she heard a loud thud that startled her. She gripped the towel tighter around her body holding it for a few seconds before literally shrugging it off. It was a little unusual for her second day of school to be on a Saturday or even to go to school on Saturday but she'd adjust somehow. Slipping on her underwear she headed to the mirror spinning around and making poses before adding her uniform to her ensemble (a gray button up shirt and a navy and black plaid skirt with gray knee highs), Karin marveled at her appearance in the mirror. Beaming, she took the brush off the counter and began taming her hair. Once her hair was set to her liking she put her glasses on the scooped up her bag setting it over her left shoulder. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on Itachi and Sasuke's bedroom door. During her tour last night she was positively giddy to be in the place where Sasuke slept on a nightly basis. Unfortunately, Itachi didn't let her touch anything claiming Sasuke was a bit compulsive not to mention anal when his stuff wasn't in order.

The redhead flinched slightly when Itachi's head came out of the door. "Good, you're all ready. Good morning."

"Good morning Itachi-san." Karin bowed. "Um, is—" Karin was startled to say the least when she heard some unrecognizable loud noise. Itachi sighed. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh, yes, everything is fine." Itachi sighed again. "Sasuke is ...a little sick though."

"Oh! Is he going to be alright?" Itachi shrugged, "so is he going to school?" This couldn't fuck up her chance of snuggling with Sasuke on a crowded bus. She missed her chance yesterday and she wasn't about to go zero for two!

"Yup." Karin beamed then cleared her throat to regain her composure. "Can you go in the kitchen and get some medicine for me?" Nodding enthusiastically, Karin ran down the stairs prompting Itachi to sigh once more. The redhead's presence only seemed to add to his suffering right now. The sixteen-year-old closed the door walking toward the bathroom. While they did keep medicine in the kitchen, Itachi had taken the liberty of getting a few bottles in preparation of right now so the search would be frivolous but Itachi knew the redhead wouldn't give up so easily which gave him enough time to make sure Sasuke looked presentable instead of looking like a half dead creature. After retching at a damn near violent rate no one would look good but Itachi had to try and do something.

Sasuke rose his head from the toilet bowl glaring at Itachi. The sixteen-year-old couldn't help but snicker. Sasuke's eyes and his forehead were both bright red and his cheeks were a little swollen. "Come on, we have to get to school."

The twelve-year-old pushed himself away from the toilet and stood up swaying from left to right. He gained his balance enough to stand in front of the sink. Itachi grimaced. Sasuke normally wasn't a normal person (he really wasn't a person for any time of day) but that hangover was only amplifying his normal morning grogginess. Itachi watched his brother take his toothbrush out of the cat shaped holder and accurate put toothpaste on it before stuffing it into his mouth with his eyes closed.

"Itachi-san!" Itachi's head whipped around toward the bedroom door. "I brought some medicine Itachi-san." Sending one last glance at Sasuke brushing his teeth and now swaying but somehow staying on his feet, Itachi opened the bedroom door. "Here you go!" The redhead beamed and held out her arms with seven different bottles of medicine ranging from standard stomach medication to pain medication.

"Thank you." Itachi took a bottle of extra strength stomach medicine, "you can put the rest back now." Then he closed the door in her face oblivious to her gaping. Clutching the bottle in his hands, he headed back over to Sasuke. It might be dangerous to overlap medicine _or_ it will help twice as fast. Itachi never paid attention to this stuff when he got sick so he had no idea how to care for someone else and what was worse was the bus was set to arrive shortly. Damn, if Itachi knew Sasuke was going to be this fucked up he would have woke up earlier.

Fortunately, Sasuke had been able to take a shower without passing out or drowning so he didn't have to worry about that. Itachi handed his brother the medicine cup and Sasuke eagerly downed it before giving it back. As he was closing the bottle, Itachi saw that the medicine caused drowsiness. The sixteen-year-old was uncharacteristically fucking up this morning. Did he and Sasuke switch personalities or something? Itachi glanced at Sasuke's haggard appearance as the twelve-year-old splashed water on his face. Then Sasuke suddenly stood upright and hiccuped before stumbling past his brother. The twelve-year-old was wearing his cooler weather (autumn/winter) uniform that, courtesy of their father, wasn't as comfortable as his old one so – like yesterday – he adjusted the front while walking. Once that was set, he opened the door to see Karin's beaming face.

"Sasuke-kun, wanna sit together on the bus?" She linked arms with him. "We should hang out more since we're living together and stuff."

Sasuke unlinked their arms. "I guess..." Karin watched Sasuke sway as he walked down the stairs. Without a second though, she ran after him. Itachi sighed closing the bedroom door before heading downstairs and when he reached the bottom step he nudged the sitting preteen with his foot.

"Where is mom?" Sasuke looked up then shrugged. It wasn't like their mother to disappear without informing them. Right, their father was still around... so there was a ninety percent chance that she was with him. "Lets head out then." Karin emerged from the kitchen joining them. Itachi locked back the door and followed the twelve-year-old duo to the bus stop which was full of people as usual.

It wasn't even a minute after they arrived that the bus came. Everyone boarded in a somewhat orderly fashion but because it was Saturday the bus wasn't as crowded as a weekday. As Sasuke was heading to the back of the bus he froze when he only saw Sai with his sketchpad. "Where is Naruto?" He asked sitting beside the older boy.

"Hm?" Sai lowered the sketchpad to look at Sasuke. "Naruto-kun missed the bus so he's taking the train." Sasuke folded his arms over his chest and leaned back. "Oh, who is this?"

"I'm Karin." The redhead replied sitting on Sai's other side. "What are you drawing?" The thirteen-year-old moved the sketchpad so that it was visible to Karin who whistled in appreciation. So the rest of the bus ride went on like that, Karin and Sai chatting like they were old friends instead of two people who only met on an hour and a half bus ride.

"Are you alright?" Sasuke snarled as Itachi patted him on the head. "Guess that answers my question."

Itachi walked ahead and Sasuke stopped walking which allowed him to see Karin and Sai walking in front of him as well. Great, just fucking great. If those two became friends then he'd probably be around Sai more than he was now and that was too much already. The twelve-year-old sighed until he felt an all too familiar hand on his shoulder then the blond's face came into view. "Dude, I am so sorry! I—" Naruto flinched when Sasuke glared at him. "Shit Sasuke you look awful dattebay—_oh!_" The blond barely had time to react as Sasuke grabbed the arm on his shoulder practically dragging Naruto into the building and subsequently the bathroom. The bathroom they were in was located in the entryway so there was no reason to take their shoes off. Sasuke released the blond's hand and locked the bathroom door. Naruto couldn't suppress his gulp as Sasuke turned to him slowly.

"I...I think something is wrong with me." Resisting the urge to add an appropriate quip the blond remained silent. Sasuke's eyes were disturbingly unfocused and he wasn't even blinking properly! His best friend was also swaying from side to side.

"Damn..." Naruto walked over to Sasuke and gripped his shoulders so he could stop swaying, then he pressed his forehead against Sasuke's recoiling almost immediately. "You're burning up! Why are you in school?"

"Because..." Sasuke gripped Naruto's shoulders, "I think nīsan might have spiked my food last night..." Naruto's eyes widened. Is that what Itachi planned on doing that he wanted Naruto to stay out of? No, Itachi said Sasuke was planning something... right? Shit he couldn't remember! But drugging Sasuke seemed beneath Itachi so it might have been accidental, like the time he and Obito accidentally got Sasuke drunk with adult cough medicine.

Wait. If Sasuke's food was spiked he was probably still drunk. Naruto had to remind himself to check his phone because the last time Sasuke got drunk he ended up calling four in the morning singing. It was the most bizarre three hours of Naruto's life so far. Thankfully it wasn't on a school day. When Sasuke sobered up close to two days later (partially because he was passed out for an entire day) Naruto told him and naturally he didn't believe him. Fortunately, Naruto had the foresight to record their conversation (he actually did it accidentally but that wasn't important) so he showed it as proof. In fact, Naruto was certain that was saved on his phone's memory and flash drive.

"Okay, you're drunk but that doesn't explain why you're not resting?"

Naruto flinched when Sasuke's head flopped down on his shoulder. The blond sighed when the blue-haired boy started moving his head up and down. In his experience seeing Sasuke in this state (or a similar state) he found out – the hard way – that Sasuke was... well Sasuke was one hell of an upbeat drunk. A flirty, _giggly_ upbeat drunk. Yes, giggly. Oh! Apparently he was a singing drunk too. Sasuke's drunken alter-ego varied from time to time but the only things that remained constant were him being handsy and happy. All of this might actually be worse with him going through puberty now. Perhaps because Sasuke was grumpy and moody on a regular basis alcohol flipped his personality completely?

Naruto allowed Sasuke to rub their faces together. If only Sasuke could this openly loving all the time. "Hey... you wanna hear something funny? Nīsan found my condoms."

Wait, Sasuke thought that was funny? He really was out of his mind! "What did he say?"

"He said no sex but I think I want to... just to get back at him."

"Who are you going to have sex with to get back at your brother? Is that even the way sex works?" Sasuke released Naruto looking at him. "What?" The blond's eyes widened and he gasped. "_No_! No, no, no, no, no, no! Are you out of your mind?!"

"I trust you..." Naruto grimaced as Sasuke hugged him. "Naruto, I don't know who else I can come to..." Oh great, now he was whining.

Naruto pushed Sasuke back still holding his shoulders. "I'm not gonna have sex with you just to piss off Itachi-nī _especially_ when you can barely stand!"

"I don't want to do it now." Sasuke rolled his eyes bringing Naruto closer again. "Besides, we should experiment and stuff. Nīsan said something about experimenting yesterday. Anyway, its better to practice with someone you trust." The hug tightened and Naruto sighed. Jiraiya told him the exact same thing: if you wanted to experiment with new (potentially dangerous) things do it in a place or with someone you knew and felt comfortable in/with. Fuck! But he couldn't let himself get suckered into drunken, revenge sex with his best friend. They were twelve for crying out loud!

Naruto released him again and moved away from him so he wouldn't be grabbed again. "Its the alcohol influencing your crazy talk! You don't want to have sex with me."

"Actually I do." Naruto wasn't expecting that. "What do we have to lose... aside from the obvious. And who knows it might be fun. Remember when we were seven and we promised to be one another's first then we kissed under the tree?"

Dejectedly, Naruto sighed putting his head down. Because Jiraiya told him firsts were important Sasuke got this crazy ass notion to lose his virginity to Naruto and vice versa. They were one another's first kiss, first best friend, first slumber party; there was a long list of firsts they experienced together. The blond balled up his fists. "Alright!" Beaming, Sasuke hugged him again. The shit he had to put up with sometimes. Still, he was curious about it. Sasuke was his best friend so who else could he sleep with solely out of curiosity without the whole messy emotional ordeal? He couldn't possibly love Sasuke any more than he already did – granted it was a brotherly, best friend love but whatever. Love was love, right?

"So when are we gonna do it?" Naruto facepalmed shaking his head. Sasuke was a tactless drunk too.

… …

Sasuke wasn't completely sober but he was able to walk on his own and form complete sentences without his drunken narcolepsy creeping in so Naruto dropped him off in the infirmary and went about his business – which was class. Naruto didn't sneak into the classroom and Kakashi didn't even bother acknowledging the blond's tardiness having come two hours late to teach once. Yes, Kakashi was the greatest homeroom teacher ever~

Naruto sat in his seat mulling over what he was going to do about Sasuke. It was likely that he'd forget the conversation leaving Naruto feeling like a jackass _then_ there was the possibility of him remembering and pushing the subject further which would also make Naruto feel like a jackass for even considering it in the first place.

When lunch came around Naruto headed to the infirmary greeting the school nurse, Shizune, before checking on Sasuke who had a towel on his forehead while he splashed water on his face. "Hey asshole, you know you're supposed to _drink_ water to quell a hangover right?" Sasuke merely groaned. "So what did Shizune-sensei say?" Sasuke sat up slowly clutching the towel in his hands.

"She told me there is a drinking age for a reason." Naruto sat on the bed. "She also said... next time I get like this she'll leave me or tell my parents."

"She didn't do that now?"

"Because I'm such a 'good kid' I get off with a warning this time." Sasuke sighed. "What's worse is that I'm hard and its difficult to ..._you know_ with her in the next room." Naruto nodded although he wasn't sure why. "So..." The blond rose an eyebrow. "You could give me a hand?" Naruto stared at him. "Come on, you gotta admit that pun had perfect timing."

"You're still drunk aren't you?"

"No but I'm hungover." Sasuke frowned slightly, "stop looking so nervous I remember about the sex talk dude." Naruto sighed. "I think that's why I'm hard."

"Okay, I did not need to hear that dattebayo! Listen, I'll do it, like I said and you know I don't go back on my word but... we're not gonna rush this alright?" Sasuke nodded. "Also, since you want to do it so badly we'll do it on my terms."

"Meaning?"

"Exactly what it sounds like bastard."

"Well dumbass, you're not being very clear." They glared at one another. "Forget it. As long as I get off I'll be alright. I wonder what its like having sex when you haven't hit puberty?"

"You'll never know, will you?"

"If I knew I would hit puberty I would have done it already." Sasuke grinned, "but I will know because I'll see it through you~"

"Damn!"

"If you can get hard before hitting puberty there's no reason why you shouldn't be hard long enough to have sex, right?" Sasuke scooted closer to Naruto putting an arm around his shoulder. "This is why you're my best friend Naruto."

"Go fuck yourself."

"That's impossible." Naruto sighed. "Oh come on! You aren't the least bit interested in doing some taboo shit like this?" Sasuke internally smirked as Naruto's frown wavered. "Think about it. Oh but I do have one condition. Don't give me that look. I want to do it before my thirteenth birthday... everything else is under your control. Bound me, gag me, whip me its all good."

"Don't give me any ideas dattebayo." Naruto shook his head. "You know, I didn't peg you for a masochist." Sasuke shrugged. "I think we should start off normally, ya know?"

Sasuke put his head on Naruto's shoulder, "you know I have nothing but love for you right? I seriously love you as much as I love tomatoes."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just talking bullshit you drunk."

"No, I'm serious. I'd say I love you like a brother but we both know I can't talk about any feelings regarding nīsan." Sasuke shuddered. He wasn't about to go down that road right now. To clear his thoughts he pulled Naruto's face. "I love you so much~" He didn't know why people went so insane with the word love. He might have been young – maybe too young to understand – but he loved Naruto more than anyone else in the world except maybe his mother; in fact they were tied. Why not have sex with someone you loved and trusted and didn't have to worry about them getting pissed at you turning your friendship into some kind of crazy romantic horror film type drama? That was one of the best things about Naruto... he might be emotional but he wasn't overly emotional. If anything, and as bad as it was to admit, Sasuke was probably more likely to suffer an emotional breakdown.

"I gotta get back to class."

"You don't really have to do anything." Sasuke removed his head from the blond's shoulder. "I doubt Kakashi would care."

"Yeah but still..." Naruto got off the bed. "If you sobered up you should head to class to."

Sasuke flopped back on the bed, "damn I don't want to. Do you know my mom vanished this morning?"

"How the hell would I know that dattebayo? Did she come home last night?" Sasuke nodded then sat up. "So she came home then bailed? Something must have come up. By the way, what did they want in the office yesterday?"

"I'll show you at gym." Sasuke hopped off the bed patting Naruto on the back. "Lets go."

… …

The shōji door of class 1-7 slid open revealing Ōnoki. The class slowly turned to the short white-haired man not bothering to mask their disdain. He constantly stopped by just to 'check on them' as he so eloquently put it but everyone knew it was a ruse. The old man was snooping because they were not only the worst first year class but the 'worst' class in the entire school. "Hope I'm not interrupting but..." The class' undivided attention landed on the scowling brunet walking into the classroom with his hands folded over his chest. He was wearing the alternate uniform which was a black shirt with a gray vest and gray and black plaid pants; his uwabaki had red, orange and black flames going across them. Upon further inspection, the brunet had several bandages and scars on his face and arms. He was wearing two wristbands on his left wrist a red one and a gray one and finally he had giant red triangular tattoos on each of his cheeks. Ōnoki, despite being shorter, ushered the boy further into the classroom until he stood in front of Kakashi's desk. "I know its late in the day and absolutely short notice but we have a new student joining us. Welcome Inuzuka Kiba-kun to Myōboku High School." The principal normally didn't make sure the kids were escorted to their class (like in the case of Karin yesterday) but given the boy's record he had to make sure he got to class on his first day and what other class should he be put in than the class full of delinquents?

"Its nice meeting ya..." He grumbled bowing; he might have said it was nice meeting everyone but he _clearly_ did not mean it.

"Okay..." The white-haired man stood in Kakashi's chair so that everyone could see him without straining their necks. "Does anyone have any questions for Inuzuka-kun?" The class glanced around amongst themselves before Naruto rose his hand which made Ōnoki sigh loudly. "Oh no... what is it Uzumaki-kun?"

"Kiba was it, dattebayo?" The brunet nodded slowly eying the blond suspiciously. "Dude, I have been looking _everywhere_ for slippers with red in them! Where did you get yours from!?"

"When I said if you had any questions, I meant one pertaining to him!"

"It does pertain to him, specifically his footwear."

"He has a point." Kakashi added leaning against the wall. "His footwear is apart of him."

The class stared at Ōnoki who sighed again then they turned to the brunet awaiting his response. He stared back replying. "They're custom made, I got them online."

"Wow, hey can you give me the website?"

"Uzumaki-kun!" Naruto flinched sitting completely in his seat. "Now does anyone have any questions that do not revolve around apparel?" The students collectively glanced around the classroom once more before turning back to the old man. "Nothing? Okay, my work here is done. They're all yours Kakashi." The white-haired man hopped off the chair then exited the room closing the door behind him.

"Okay then..." Kakashi clapped his hands together, "Inuzuka-kun feel free to sit wherever you'd like I find that whole assigned seat situation to be tedious because you may not want to sit in the same seat two days in a row." Kiba nodded walking slowly pass the two rows ignoring the obvious stares of his new classmates. There were a couple of seats to choose from but the seat next to the whiskered blond the old man snapped at was available so he took it earning more stares. As soon as Kiba sat down the bespectacled, azure eyed teen beamed at him and due to the sheer infectiousness Kiba couldn't help but smile back even though he didn't really feel like it.

Kiba turned to the front of the class scowling when everyone turned to the front as well. The brunet sighed. His mother, Tsume, told him to be friendly and not to start any fights on the first day. While Kiba made no guarantees he assured her that he would at least try. These kids and their staring was making that pretty difficult though.

"Alright, lets try and review something shall we? Any suggestions?"

"Kakashi-sensei, every time you ask us for suggestions you just shoot them down." Suigetsu said raising his hand while he leaned back in his seat.

"Now that is not _entirely _true." The class merely stared at him. "Okay, fine. Give me a suggestion and we'll see if I shoot it down."

"Psst..." Kiba glanced to his left at the blond. "I'm Naruto dattebayo. How come you're so banged up? Get into a fight? I bet you kicked some serious ass, huh? You look like you'd kick serious ass. Those guys you fight are probably more banged up, right? I mean, I enjoy a good fight but I don't wanna fight just for the hell of it, ya know?"

Kiba blinked at the barrage of questions hurled his way – this kid was one hell of a speedy talker but surprisingly it wasn't a bad thing. If he wasn't such a fast talker himself he would not have understood a word said to him. "Yeah I kicked ass." He said with a toothy grin, "its the reason I got expelled from my last three schools. I'm always starting fights and shit. Though people are usually starting with me. And yeah, they're definitely worse for wear."

"Ah, I get ya. And people are always starting fights with me too. I bet if the vice principal didn't love me so much I'd get expelled for sure dattebayo. Kakashi-sensei says I'm mellower now than I was in elementary school though. He's my best friend's aniki's godfather so I've known him for a long time."

"The vice principal? You mean that short old dude who took me to class? He didn't seem to like you."

"What? Nah that guy's the principal, dattebayo, and I'm sure he can't stand me. But the vice principal is that red-haired woman always on those dating websites. Other than her desperation for finding a partner Terumī-sensei is pretty cool."

"Ah, website. You wanted the website I got my slippers on, right?"

"Yeah, I—"

"Uzumaki-kun." Naruto flinched as Kakashi tapped the chalkboard behind him. "You seem to be in a talkative mood why not recite some of the elements on the periodic table for us?"

"Huh? Kakashi-sensei I'm always in a talkative mood. A-Anyway, h-how many dattebayo?"

"Hmmm... tell you what, I'm in a generous mood since you're such a good student." The students chuckled. "And you did bring me lunch so I'm going to say ten elements with their abbreviations and numbers. Keep in mind that I do not have to be on time for my next class considering I don't have one so I can interrupt your last class as long as I can."

Naruto gulped feeling the entire class glaring daggers at him. "Okay dattebayo. Why not ask me if they're a solid, liquid or gas too Kakashi-sensei?"

"Don't tempt me." Naruto sighed and before he could speak Kakashi motioned for him to stand.

Begrudgingly, the blond stood. "Hmm... there are one hundred and eighteen elements in total. Uh, number one is _H_ which stands for hydrogen. Two is _He_ which means helium, five is _B_ meaning boron. That's three... I know sodium is _Na_ but I don't know what number it is. Seventeen is _Cl_ for chlorine—"

The class stared at Naruto not even bothering to mask their shock. Uzumaki Naruto was one half of the resident class clown tag of class 1-7; the other half of the team being Hōzuki Suigetsu who was often his bread getting partner. Hell, they might have been considered class clowns of the entire school. Naruto was as attention deficit as they came so it was nothing short of miraculous for him to know some of the elements – especially since Kakashi only taught them this less than a week ago.

Of course, Suigetsu wasn't shocked since he was the only student in the class to know how smart Naruto truly was... or how dumb he wasn't. Why else would they be able to turn out such a profit from getting food for their classmates if they were both idiots? They wouldn't be able to get away with half the shit they pulled if they were as dumb as everyone thought. Granted, neither of them were geniuses by any standard but they were knowledgeable about certain things.

As their guidance counselor and homeroom sensei, Kakashi wasn't shocked either. He knew Naruto was an autodidact which explained his incompetence when it came to being taught things; and his ADHD explained his lack of being able to pay attention or quiet. Sometimes after school was over, Naruto and Suigetsu would come by to see what information they retained or go over things they didn't fully understand. Like Naruto, Suigetsu appeared to suffer from ADHD as well.

It wasn't just those two either, although they came by the most, all the students got the same treatment if they did not understand but Kakashi usually taught his class in a way that was easy to understand but he often got so enraptured with science that he used complicated words that even adults had trouble comprehending.

"—Uh, silver is _Au_ and gold is _Ag_. Twelve is Magnesium—"

Kakashi shook out of his mental musing noticing Naruto was still talking and it wasn't one of those times in which he was talking nonsense or babbling uncontrollably he was actually making sense. "Stop Uzumaki-kun that's quite enough. It was way more than ten."

"No, I only did nine dattebayo. Were you even listening sensei?"

"I _was_ listening. You did more than ten, if you want to be exact you gave me twenty three elements but you only numbered nine of them." Naruto rose an eyebrow, "you may take your seat." The blond skeptically stared at the white-haired man as he sat down. "Time to get into groups for some experimenting."

"Do we even have enough time for that Kakashi-sensei?" The brunet on Naruto's right asked raising his hand.

"Why Akimichi-kun we always have time for learning." The class collectively sighed. "Get into groups of four if you please."

Kiba watched the students buzz around the classroom getting into groups. If he didn't know any better he would think the students were carefully avoiding walking and even glancing in his direction. "Hey..." He glanced at the blond. "Wanna work with us?" The 'us' in question were the blond, the tall white-haired kid behind the blond and a brunet who took the seat behind Kiba. Sure, they seemed harmless enough and their stares weren't irking him like the rest of the class so why the hell not? Kiba nodded joining his desk with the other three. "So this guy is Chōji and he's Suigetsu." He pointed as he spoke. "Oh and I'm Naruto if I didn't say that earlier; which I think I did."

Kakashi glanced at most of the students rearranging their desks. With Kiba's arrival the class now had twenty-two students which meant now two groups would have an extra person or he could put the class in two groups of eleven but that would be too much work.

"So, Kiba dude, what school did you come from?" Suigetsu asked leaning forward in his chair; because of his height and general lankiness he had a hard time fitting in his desk.

"My last school was Oto's Sand Academy." Chōji, Naruto and Suigetsu exchanged glances.

"Oto... dude isn't that in China?" Chōji and Naruto stared at Suigetsu in disbelief. "What? I can't read shit once in a while?"

"Yeah... that's where it is. I spent a chunk of my life in China."

"Your Japanese is pretty good though." Chōji commented.

"Thanks. Its not perfect yet but my mom taught me and nēsan before we came over."

"Naru had to learn Japanese before coming here too but that was like, what, eight years ago?" Suigetsu said nodding. "Oh and his dad writes porn for a living."

Kakashi approached their joint desks. "Less conversing and more experimenting, please?" They sighed. "Get some beakers from the cupboard Hōzuki-kun and for the love of all things sane do not, under any circumstances, let them near _him_." He glanced at Naruto who slumped back in his seat. Nodding, Kakashi walked off to another group.

"What did you do that bans you from getting beakers?"

"Naruto's a natural klutz." Chōji chimed in, "last time he got the beakers he broke most of them and he nearly set the school on fire twice mixing chemicals." Kiba whistled.

"So you're like on all the teacher's radar or something, right?" Naruto nodded with a sigh. "Cool. Your dad really writes porn for a living?" Naruto nodded again. "My mom helps breed animals sometimes so I guess its sort of in the same field right?"

"What does your mom do?" Chōji asked.

"She's a vet." Naruto and Chōji exchanged questionable glances. "She's also an animal caretaker."

Suigetsu returned with a box gently settling it on his desk, "what did I miss?"

"Kiba's mom breeds animals."

"Like a Pokémon breeder?" Chōji facepalmed. "That's awesome! Lets mix some chemicals before Kakashi-sensei comes back."

After several failed attempts to get his hands on any beakers, Naruto merely sat with his hand propping up his chin watching Chōji take over the beakers. Kakashi came back giving the beakers to whom he felt was the most responsible in their group which – by process of elimination – was Chōji as Naruto could not be trusted around chemicals, he didn't really know Kiba that well yet and Suigetsu was a bit of a wild card and there was no telling how destructive he felt today.

"Okay, class is almost over so everyone get your stuff together." The students complied packing what little belongings they had out into their bags. Then they pushed their desks apart putting them in their usual spots.

The bell rang and the students merrily made their way single-filed out of the classroom safe for Naruto. The blond nodded to Suigetsu who nervously nodded back before leaving. Sighing, Naruto approached Kakashi's desk. "Can I help you with something Uzumaki-kun?"

"Yesterday you said something about a 'prize' and I was wondering, dattebayo, if it had something to do with Tenzō-sensei?" Kakashi blinked at him. "We have his class after yours, the second time, so I can give him a message if you'd like?"

"Bucking for extra credit Uzumaki-kun?" Kakashi chuckled. "No... its grown up business that I must figure out how to deal with."

"Itachi-nī is giving you hell, isn't he?"

"Yes." Kakashi sighed heavily. "If you can help me with that I will be eternally grateful."

"Sorry, gotta help one person at a time ya know?"

"I understand. Oh and could you congratulate Sasuke-kun for me? I didn't get the chance to yesterday and I heard it from Obito. Now that I think about it there is something you can do for me regarding Tenzō-san..."

… …

The school was attempting to fix the schedule for gym classes so it was fortunate not to mention nothing short of miraculous when they put Naruto's class, which Sasuke found out was 1-7, with his class; 1-2. It allowed Naruto and Sasuke to hang out without any actual learning taking place again; excluding lunch and study hall/free period this gave them their third class together the other two being cooking class, which was another new class implemented by Ōnoki, and health class which every first year class had together because it saved time explaining the same thing over and over to a bunch of twelve and thirteen year old idiots. The other six first year classes had physical education together in the morning. The classes 1-2 and 1-7, the first year classes deemed the 'best' and 'worst' respectively, were the only first year classes to share gym class with upperclassmen. Incidentally, this gym class had at least one class of every grade except for second year high school and first year junior high school where there were two.

Physical education lasted the length of an entire class and about half of another class. Sasuke had no idea why physical education was so damn long or why it had so many students. Luckily, for someone who possessed little to no physical stamina, this class was the last they had of the day and as he wasn't a member of any clubs he was free to go home when it was over. So he was free to be bone tired on the bus... which he usually was.

Sasuke sighed leaning against the gate in his gym clothes: a black t-shirt and a pair of navy shorts with black sneakers. He surveyed the area for that unmistakable spiky golden mane in search of his best friend. Naruto was shorter than him yet he was easier to spot out in a crowd. Instead of seeing blond hair, Sasuke spotted those gaudy red-orange frames throughout the crowd like some kind of beacon. This was worse than that time Naruto had several bicycle reflectors attached to his clothing. The outcome was different but the principle was the same.

Sasuke swam through the sea of bodies and by the time he made it to Naruto he was panting. The blond glanced down at him, his azure eyes even more vibrant than usual without the glasses in front of them. Sasuke looked up at Naruto's glasses that were on top of his head instead of on his face. "Why..." He wheezed. Damn, he was out of shape – no wonder he didn't bother racing Naruto to the bus stop after school anymore! "Glasses..." He rasped out.

Laughing, Naruto patted Sasuke on the back. "I used them to let you find me dattebayo." He said putting them on after wiping them off. "It would be pointless looking for bluish-black hair with so many different shades around plus I have trouble distinguishing colors." Ah. Sasuke internally nodded to himself, it made sense... that would probably explain why he was so prone to wearing bright colors.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke cringed and straightened up as Karin appeared beside him. "Oh? Who is this?"

"I'm Naruto, dattebayo."

"I'm Karin." They bowed at one another. "So what's your relationship to Sasuke-kun?"

"He's my best friend."

"What?!" Karin's eyes widened. _This_ was the Uzumaki guy that was always around Sasuke? Was this the same Uzumaki that was around Sasuke since 'forever' or as long as anyone could remember?

Sasuke recognized _that_ tone; she might have said one word but it was clearly the typical _'you-gotta-be-shitting-me'_ tone near everyone used when they introduced the other as their best friend. Was it so damn unbelievable that two people with such polar opposite personalities could form an eight year long lasting friendship? A friendship that ascended to inseparable best friend status!? Sasuke didn't think so because if he did he and Naruto wouldn't be best friends, would they?

"Oh, dude, I got someone new I wanna introduce you to." Naruto linked arms with a brunet. "This is Kiba, dattebayo." The brunet bowed and Sasuke hesitantly bowed back. "Kiba, this is Sasuke."

"Hey man, nice ta meet ya." Well that was a surprise. Sasuke was half expecting some kind of interrogation. "So you know what a menace Naruto has been, huh?"

"Yeah..."

"Dammit Sasuke, don't just agree with him!" Naruto sighed.

"So how long have you two known one another?"

"Eight and a half years." Was the simultaneous reply.

Kiba whistled. "Cool. Wait, damn, that's like three-fourths of your lives. Hey, can you read one another's minds or something?"

"Oh please!" Karin interrupted, "that is completely ridiculous! Reading minds? I don't care how many years they've known one another. Its just not possible!"

"It ain't ridiculous and it is possible. Their minds can be on the same wavelength and they can figure out what the other is going to do and junk."

"Absolutely. Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun have that sort of power." Kiba flinched as Sai came out through the crowd putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm Shimura Sai. Its nice meeting you."

"Right back at ya, I'm Inuzuka Kiba."

"So you and Naruto-kun are in the same class huh?" He turned to Karin, "and you are in the same class as Sasuke-kun? Its not everyday something like this happens. Oh, by the way, you know she lives with Sasuke-kun?"

"Say what?" Naruto shook his head, "I feel sorry for you... but Sasuke's not all that bad." Sasuke elbowed him. "Well I do."

"I agree with Naruto-kun. He's immune to Sasuke-kun since they've been together for almost forever but for someone else it might be a bit ...overwhelming especially with you living with him." Sasuke cracked his knuckles. "See? He's quick to anger too." Sai clamped a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "This one's thick as steel." He nodded. That damn clingy bastard. When it came to other students he maintained an appropriate distance but with Naruto? _No_. He was all over the blond!

"Uzumaki-kun." Naruto leaned to the left spotting a blue-haired girl waving as she walked toward him. "Oh... there are a lot of people here." Karin's right eye twitched. That girl was far prettier in person than she was a few rows behind in class. Shit. If she was after Sasuke then there would be no contest! The blue-haired girl appeared to be moving in slow motion; her long hair swaying in the wind that fabricated out of nowhere and her eyes – they were positively beautiful; they were a mixture of lavender and white. Karin just couldn't stop staring and as she looked down she spotted something else this girl had above her.

"Right, if that girl's in your class you already know her so the only one you need to be introduced to is Kiba." The brunet waved prompting a wave back. "Kiba, man, this is Hyūga-chan dattebayo... she's in Sasuke's class so she's real smart." The girl blushed at the complement twiddling her thumbs.

"Nice meeting ya Hyūga-chan." The girl's blush deepened as Kiba bowed; when he got up she bowed back.

"By the way Hyūga-chan, I've known you for two years yet I don't know your given name dattebayo."

"Dude, that's awful!" Kiba said shaking his head, "how come you're just now asking her?"

"Well this is the longest conversation I've ever had with her! Hell, this is the longest I've actually been around her!"

"Then you must have done something wrong."

"H-Hinata."

"I didn't do anything!"

"Obviously you did or you'd know her name!"

"What makes you think I did anything! I... _what_?!" Both Naruto and Kiba, along with Sai, Sasuke and Karin stared at the blue-haired girl.

"M-My given name, its Hinata." At this point, the blue-haired girl's entire face and even her neck were bright red.

"That's a pretty name. It suits you." If possible, Sasuke swore her face would explode with all the blood filling it. He never saw anyone's face get _that_ red for so long. If anything it kept getting redder and redder. Naruto was a natural born charmer and he didn't even know it. Hinata was in his class so he spoke to her quite a few times but she never seemed as nervous as she was now.

"Hey, here comes the other Hyūga." Sasuke said pinching Sai's hand off Naruto's shoulders.

A brunet approached the group with his arms folded over his chest. As a second year his shirt was white instead of black much like Sai's. If he was here then he and Sai must have been in the same class since only one class of (junior high) second years was in this class period. He glanced at Hinata who found the pavement incredibly interesting for some reason. "Are you alright?" She nodded timidly looking in another direction. The brunet glanced at Naruto eyes narrowing.

"C-Come on Senpai, it wasn't me." He jerked his thumb at Kiba who gulped.

"D-Dude! Way to throw me under the bus! I-It wasn't completely me. _He..._" He pointed at Naruto, "was just as bad, if not worse!"

"Y-You know I would never do anything to hurt your cousin. T-Tell him Hinata-chan." She blushed nodding. Naruto facepalmed. That only made things worse. Why the hell did he call her by her given name _now_?

"A-All I said was she had a pretty name. I'm new, don't kill me!"

"Neji-kun, try to be nice to our kōhais..." Sai said now leaning on his shoulder, "can't use them as pawns if you scare them half to death."

The brunet sighed, "I suppose..."

"Your name is Neji then?" He glared at Kiba. "I-I was just asking. I-I'm new." He covered his mouth then moved to stand behind Naruto. "Damn he's scary..." He whispered and Naruto nodded.

"Alright kiddies, line up so we can begin our hot-blooded physical education warm up exercises!" The entire class collectively groaned but complied. If they didn't then Gai-sensei would only make them warm up _for their warm up_ in case they weren't hot-blooded enough for the actual warm up. For a grown man nearing his thirties, Gai was more energetic than his entire class combined. That was why he was the only sensei this period compared to the other classes that had two or three senseis. "Lee-kun, care to start off our warm up!"

"It would be my pleasure Gai-sensei!" Sasuke jumped slightly as the black-haired thirteen-year-old jumped out from one of the lines in the back perfectly landing in front of the class turning toward them beaming. "Is everyone ready!?" Rock Lee was perhaps the only student whose enthusiasm and stamina matched that of Gai. Hell, Lee might have been _more_ 'hot-blooded' because he idolized Gai in a rather unhealthy way.

"Psst... Naruto, what's the deal with the pretty guy?"

"Pretty... you mean _Neji_?" Kiba nodded. "I guess he's just overprotective of his cousin. Oh and don't let him hear you call him pretty, he'll kick your ass dattebayo."

"That's not being overprotective dude, its sheer terror. My sister's nuts but she doesn't go that crazy when people just talk to me!"

"Fellow classmates, we shall start our warm up with one-thousand pushups!" The class gaped at him. What the hell kind of warm up was that?! Naruto turned to Neji with pleading eyes and the brunet sighed. Only a heartless monster could resist _that_ look. While Neji was often told he was heartless even he couldn't just ignore a plea – well he could but he was not about to do one-thousand pushups.

Hyūga Neji was one of the very few people (or even the only person) able to talk sense into his best friend. Their friendship was similar to that of Naruto and Sasuke's. Best friends for eight and a half years with very different personalities that brought out both the best and worse in one another. But people questioned their friendship far more than Naruto and Sasuke's – for obvious reasons.

"Lee." As he assumed the position to begin pushups, the black-haired teen looked over at Neji in the row behind him. "Maybe we can start off a bit slower?"

"Five hundred?" Neji shook his head. Lee surveyed the pained expressions of his peers and sighed. If they looked this tired now it would only get worse after they began and if Gai made them work out even more because of it he would somehow get the brunt of his classmate's fury and possibly get stuffed into a toilet or something… again. "Alright then, one hundred pushups is what we shall do, everyone on the floor so we can begin!" Groaning, everyone got down on the ground with their hands in front of them. "Let us begin. Count out loud for us Naruto-kun!"

"M-Me? Alright, you got it." Perhaps Sasuke was right and he was too friendly – he and Lee were friends and often tested each other's endurance in physical education when Lee wasn't doing things that were too strange for Naruto to comprehend. Sure his stamina might have matched Guy and Lee's but he wasn't about to share that so he could be one of their hot-blooded companions and work himself to the bone. No matter how cool Lee was sometimes he was fucking crazy one hundred percent of the time. "Lets go!"

Sasuke was on Naruto's left and the two of them were in the third row. Take into account Lee's loudness (which mirrored Naruto's frequency at times) and wouldn't be too difficult for him to be heard. Why Naruto wanted to be so close up was anyone's guess. Before he got into position he saw Karin in the row behind him and Sai was on the other side of Naruto. On Sasuke's left was Kiba and he was bouncing erratically after each pushup and when he wasn't doing that he kept taking peeks at Neji who was a row ahead. There could be no good coming from this situation.

Sasuke shook his head focusing back on his pushups, he wasn't particularly close to Neji but the brunet wasn't an annoying asshat like Sai – either way he knew it was a dead end trying to vie for his attention. Neji had less of a tolerance for stupidity than Sasuke did... and _that_ was saying something.

It was no surprise that students started dropping like flies the higher Naruto got with his count; Sasuke himself was having trouble keeping up – he was someone who only did physical workouts when he had to after all. He saw students arms give out left and right and by the time Naruto hit one hundred in his count most of the class was down.

Lee was oblivious to the whole thing since he was too absorbed in his own pushups, doing twice as much as everyone else. He got to his feet looking around, "what happened?"

"_You_ happened Lee." Neji said sitting up. The brunet was far too accustom to Lee's enthusiasm to be surprised by it knocking out the majority of their class. Because of Lee's ...Lee-ness, Neji's own stamina increased to something most would consider abnormal. He looked around the gym at the remaining individuals counting fifteen people not passed out or gasping for air.

Naruto helped Sasuke up and they were leaning on one another as Sasuke tried to compose himself. Naruto might have been fine but he needed a few minutes to gather himself. That good old best friend extrasensory perception (or BFESP) kicked in before Sasuke could faceplant on the pavement and he was eternally grateful for that.

Kiba looked around whistling, "how many casualties?" He asked and Suigetsu, who was beside him, counted while pointing. "Oi! Naruto, does this happen often?" The blond paused for a moment before nodding.

"Looks like some of your peers need another warm up exercise!" Gai bellowed and it took the remainder of the class less than three seconds to recover and stand.

"Does _that_ happen often?" Naruto nodded again.

"Alright!" Guy turned to the group, "to my survivors you will take laps at the corner of the field." With the exception of Kiba, the 'survivors' gaped at him. "Everyone else, its football time! Follow me!"

Kiba watched as the students followed their energetic teacher with neutral expressions. "Which is better?" He asked as Naruto grabbed him away from the crowd so they were on the sidelines.

"Laps." Was the simultaneously reply. It was a good thing he was so energetic to keep up with one hundred pushups because he did not _want_ to know how hellish football was going to be if everyone said this was the better option.

After everyone moved to a complete opposite side of the field outdoors, he looked around the area they were told to run around. He spotted Hinata who was one of the only two females left standing, uh... stretching. Her long navy hair was tied in a ponytail as she bent forward touching her toes. It might have been rude to stare but Kiba couldn't help himself. "Hinata-chan~" Hinata barely had time to brace herself as a blonde glomped her as soon as she stood. "I'm so glad not to be the only girl here."

Naruto eyed the blonde suspiciously. "Were you even doing pushups Ino?"

"Duh!" She readjusted her long hair putting it in a bun, "of course I was." Naruto's eyes narrowed. "You're not the only energetic blond around Uzumaki. I can hold my own against the boys." That was no surprise, Yamanaka Ino _was _one of the boys. Most of the people she hung out with were guys and, like Naruto, her only parental figure was her father – but hers was biological. Ino started stretching then cracked her knuckles, "run with me okay Hinata-chan?" Hinata nodded.

"If we are done with the rest period it is time for us to run!" Lee said cheerfully. Everyone groaned but complied and started running.

Kiba was new at this so he had to wonder how many 'laps' were they supposed to be doing? And for how long? He'd ask Naruto but the blond was behind him talking to Sasuke. The only person next to him was the chatty Ino girl from his class. "Psst!" She rose an eyebrow at him, "how many laps are we supposed to run?"

"You know, I'm not sure. I think we just do this until class ends." Kiba sighed, "don't worry unlike those chumps playing football we get to take breaks every few minutes."

"That's good. I guess we can do this because its our last class, right?" Ino shrugged. "So... not to sound sexist or anything but you gotta have an impressive amount of stamina to keep up, right?"

"Damn right, you're not too bad yourself – not to sound sexist or anything." Kiba chuckled. "But if we're speaking truthfully Hinata-chan's got way more stamina than me." As Hinata was right beside her she blushed and tripped over herself falling to the ground. Gasping, both Kiba and Ino stopped running to help her up. "Oh shit Hinata-chan, I'm sorry! I just—"

Kiba and Ino gulped hearing someone crack their knuckles loudly behind them. "What the hell do you two think you are doing to my cousin?" Ever so slowly, Kiba looked over his shoulder at Neji glaring at him and Ino. But the blonde didn't bother looking back, instead she found the ground incredibly interesting. Kiba licked his lips subconsciously, even with the angry look he had to admit the brunet was rather easy on the eyes. Kiba shook himself out of his stupor, this guy – no matter how mind numbingly attractive – was going to kick his ass six ways to Sunday if he thought he was messing with his cousin; Ino too. Kiba now understood how those kids felt when his sister came to protect or defend him.

"N-Nothing!" Kiba squeaked as Neji easily hauled him _and Ino_ off the ground with his hands lifting them to eye level. Now that Kiba got a closer look, Neji's eyes seemed to be more whitish whereas Hinata's had more of a lavender tint but this was no time to be admiring his eyes through his gray framed lenses which only added to his sex appeal. Shit, he wasn't wearing those earlier! Not only that but he was really strong to lift both of them without breaking a sweat.

"N-Neji-nī stop!" Hinata flinched as Neji unintentionally glared at her. His gaze softened, somewhat, as she rose to her feet. "I-Ino-chan just complimented me and I tripped then they helped me up. I-I just need to handle this sort of thing better."

Neji's gaze hardened as it redirected at the duo in his hands. "Neji, we should be running and not threatening our underclassmen." Lee said jogging in place beside him. Sighing, Neji released both of them who unceremoniously landed on their asses. He then took a deep breath before walking off. Lee stopped jogging completely to help them up. Once they were on their feet he rubbed the back of his neck chuckling. "I feel as though I should apologize to both of you, Neji is not really the best when it comes to dealing with other people..." He bowed. At this point everyone else had stopped running to see what was going on and they all nodded in agreement with what Lee said.

"Its cool Lee, no harm no foul." Ino said waving him off. "Its just that I've never seen him so... so... _forceful_." She yelped as Kiba poked her in the ribs.

"We should begin running again before Gai-sensei comes." Lee urged and everyone started again.

Kiba frowned slightly seeing Neji jogging a good way ahead of the rest of them by himself. His long hair was in a ponytail bopping up and down as he moved. It was mesmerizing to watch so he barely noticed Naruto adjusted his glasses jogging up beside him. "Dude, you're gonna get your ass kicked if ya keep staring dattebayo." Kiba's frown deepened. "Look, I know he's hot but contain yourself dammit!"

"What's wrong Kiba-kun?" Hinata was jogging on his other side. "My cousin isn't that bad, please don't be angry with him. We didn't really get along growing up and I guess he's making up for lost time. His heart is in the right place... he just can't express himself." Kiba turned to her still frowning. She was misunderstanding the situation; it wasn't anger he felt but he really couldn't tell her what he felt because Kiba didn't understand it himself. He understood Neji was trying to protect Hinata probably the only way he knew how but there were going to be times in which he couldn't protect her and Kiba had the feeling that Neji didn't really have anyone – aside from Lee – there to protect him. This school was definitely more interesting than the last few he attended.

With the frown still on his face, he steeled himself and sprinted ahead catching up to Neji. The bespectacled brunet didn't even bother masking his disdain when he saw Kiba jogging in place with him. "Don't run off. I-I just want to apologize, I didn't really make a good first impression on you so I'm sorry." When Neji stopped jogging and turned to him Kiba gulped stopping too. "I know you wanna protect your cousin and that's cool." Neji's eyes narrowed. "I'm not telling you what to do or how to do it!" He said waving his arms defensively. "I-I was just wondering if we can be friends?"

Neji blinked at him clearly not expecting that. "You seriously want to be friends with me?" Kiba nodded. The way Neji asked was so adorably innocent; Hinata wasn't kidding when he said he didn't know how to express himself. But Kiba knew if Neji realized how cute he was acting it would piss him off even more. "I'm not exactly the friendliest person around, you know." By this time everyone caught up to them and stopped. Fortunately they didn't hear anything he said before but the way they were staring at him made him feel uncomfortable. "W-What? Shouldn't you guys be running?" Everyone, safe for Hinata, wordlessly complied dashing off.

"Neji-nī..." She tugged on his arm, "run with me, okay?"

"Just a second." He turned to Kiba and sighed. "I'll think about it." He said before allowing himself to be dragged away by Hinata.

Kiba merely stood there watching them run. It was barely noticeable, and it might have only lasted for a few seconds, but there was a slight tinge of pinkness in Neji's cheeks as he told everyone to go away and it was one of the hottest things Kiba saw in his twelve and a half years of existence. Usually when people blushed it was considered cute but Neji surpassed the cute thing and just went for sexy. "Kiba!" The brunet flinched when he saw Suigetsu waving a hand in front of his face. "Why are ya just staring into space man? Lets go." Kiba really must have been out of it because he didn't know where the hell Suigetsu came from. He started running again trying to keep his mind off of Neji but his eyes had other plans as he saw him next to Hinata who was laughing and smiling.

"Naruto." The blond frowned at Sasuke who jerked his head behind them. Still frowning, he looked back at Kiba who appeared to be in a daze. "I think something is wrong with your new friend." Naruto rose an eyebrow. "Looks like he's got a thing for Hyūga, he won't stop staring."

"Yeah, I noticed. Good thing its not too obvious or he's crushing on his brother." It was Sasuke's turn to frown. "I could talk to him but I'm not sure how much help I'd be in this situation. I still don't know what to do about yours." Before Sasuke could say anything Naruto covered his mouth. "Aside from _that_."

Sasuke moved Naruto's hands. "What's the big deal about Hyūga anyway? He isn't really that attractive."

"Damn, someone's jealous. Everyone still fawns over you, don't worry Uchiha." Sasuke scoffed at that. Like hell he wanted all these people to fawn over him. Shameless idiots, Sasuke would prefer to be ignored. "Oh, that reminds me. What do you think of Kiba dattebayo? He's pretty cool, right?"

"Compared to everyone else you hang out with? Yeah, I'd agree with you there." Naruto grinned at him. "Is class over yet? I'm sick of running... or jogging or whatever the hell we're doing."

"Alright!" Gai and the visibly drained students behind him approached the group of runners. "That was a wonderful class. Now return to your classrooms to change and have a youthful day!" The students were eager to comply even if their bodies didn't allow them to move very fast.

"Kiba~" Naruto wrapped an arm around him. "Lets go dude, its been quite the first day hasn't it dattebayo?" Kiba nodded slowly frowning slightly. "Sasuke, don't leave without me, okay?"

"Yeah yeah. I'll wait by the shoe lockers." Naruto saluted him with his free hand before he and Kiba walked up the stairs. Fortunately they used the outside exit near his classroom so Sasuke didn't have to travel very far to get dressed. The girls used the classroom to change while the boys used the kitchen for cooking class which was two classrooms down the hall. They put the boys outside the classroom because they typically had less to change into/out of.

"Uchiha-kun?" Sasuke stopped walking and turned to the person calling him which turned out to be Hinata. Her long hair was still in its ponytail and she was still wearing her gym clothes. "May I talk to you for a while?" Sasuke nodded and she jogged over to him. "I would really like for us to become friends." Sasuke's eyebrows rose. That was the strangest thing anyone ever said to him. Why would she want to be friends with him? "Neji-nī told me he was going to try and make a friend and I figured I would do the same."

"Why me?"

"Well, I don't want to sound like I'm prying but sometimes it seems as though you could use a friend. And as I could use a friend too it would be like killing two birds with one stone... there really should be a better way to phrase that. Oh! But I'm sure your fans won't be too happy about me trying to be friends with you... n-nevermind forget I—"

"No." Hinata stared at him. "I wanna be friends with you too."

Hinata blushed slightly, "r-really?"

"Yeah. My mom's always saying I need to make more friends and whatever so sure we can be friends. Lets exchange contact information." Hinata nodded then frowned. "Right, we're still wearing gym clothes. We'll talk by the shoe locker, okay?" Nodding, Hinata walked back to the classroom waved then walked inside.

Sasuke walked into the kitchen getting his clothes from one of the stools and swapped them for his gym clothes. His mother would have a field day knowing someone else actually wanted to be friends with him. For eight years she went on and on about him never bringing anyone over – technically it was six years because it took Sasuke two years to get Naruto to visit him and meet his family. Sasuke paused as he was putting his shirt on. Hinata was a very pretty girl and for a twelve-year-old she was developing quite nicely. She was one of the few girls in class that couldn't double for an ironing board. Yes, Sasuke could definitely have fun being friends with her. He pulled his shirt down and smirked. Once he put his pants on he exited the room and approached the shoe locker where Naruto was putting on his green sneakers which Sasuke did not notice at all until now. "What a surprise, you're not covered in orange."

Naruto smirked, "you're just jealous that I can rock any color and don't stick to bland cool tones like navy and black." Sasuke could only laugh at that. His closet consisted of cool tones in contrast to Naruto's warm tones except for right now with his puke green shirt that was visible because Naruto's gakuran was completely unbuttoned.

"What's with that color? It looks like baby barf." Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "did you mix colors again while doing laundry?"

"No! I picked this color by choice dattebayo!" The blond grumbled folding his arms over his chest. "Lets hang out at your place."

"Not yet." Naruto rose an eyebrow as Sasuke went to the row of shoe lockers behind theirs. Frowning, Naruto walked behind him and saw Hinata putting on her shoes. The shoe lockers were in alphabetical order in accordance to grade so Naruto and Sasuke, both with U surnames, had their shoe lockers in the front which was good because everything else had them in the back. Beside Hinata were Suigetsu and Kiba putting on their shoes.

"Oh, hi Sasuke-kun." The pink-haired girl greeted adjusting her shoes. Sasuke merely nodded. "Gym class was exhausting right? I didn't see you in the field."

Suigetsu closed his shoe locker, "he was with us running laps."

"You're joking!?" The pink-haired girl gasped. "That's incredible. Congratulations! I'll try harder too."

"Hinata-chan~" The pink-haired girl's green eyes narrowed as Ino rounded the corner hoisting her backpack over he shoulders. "Are you ready?"

"Ino..."

Ino blinked, "heya Sakura. Wanna come to the flower shop? Hinata-chan's picking up some flowers but she won't tell me why!" Hinata blushed slightly and that gave Sasuke a Naruto-like idea.

"Mind if we tag along?" Ino, Suigetsu and Sakura stared at him wide-eyed. "I feel like getting some flowers too." He elbowed Naruto who mumbled incoherently.

Suigetsu grinned toothily, "count me in too. I'm always up for looking at flowers."

Kiba shrugged closing his shoe locker, "I'm game. But its okay that we go in our uniforms, right?"

"Yeah, my dad owns the shop." Ino said proudly. "Oh and afterwards we can hit the arcade or something!" Naruto and Suigetsu cheered. "I almost forgot. Uchiha-kun, shouldn't you tell your brother that you're not taking the bus home?"

Right... Sasuke forgot it was common knowledge throughout the school that he had an older brother. A well known, popular, _crazy_ older brother that frequently asked underclassmen of his little brother's whereabouts when he couldn't find him. If Sasuke didn't tell Itachi he wasn't going home than someone else would. And if someone else told Itachi, Sasuke would end up being bruised like a dropped apple. "I'll tell him." Grumbling, Sasuke trotted off to the high school shoe lockers.

"Alright, once he's done we'll just wait for Shikamaru and Chōji then we'll be ready to go!"

Karin peeked around the corner seeing about six people standing in some kind of circle talking. She saw the blond that was Sasuke's best friend but she didn't see Sasuke. How the hell were they supposed to sit on the bus together if he wasn't around? Hopefully the bus would be packed so she could cop a feel and blame it on not having any space. Yes, that sounded like a good idea. Karin saw two more people join the group: a chubby brunet and the scraggy looking black-haired boy from her class. She then heard someone say something about going. They were going somewhere? Karin had to get a piece of that action. "So... where are you guys going?" Karin came out of the corner approaching the group and stopped when she saw the blonde. She wasn't as pretty as Hinata so there wasn't problem. And this girl wasn't in her class so she didn't have to worry about that either.

"We're going to the Yamanaka Flower Shop." The girl said suspiciously eying her. "I'm Ino, who are you?"

"I'm Karin." She said with a bow. "Is it alright if I come too?"

"Sure." Ino shrugged. "Like a perfectly set up bouquet of flowers the more complimenting the main piece the better." Karin's eyes narrowed. What the hell was that supposed to mean? And surely the girl didn't consider herself as the main piece in this bouquet, did she?

Karin nearly squealed as Sasuke came over rubbing his left arm. "Lets go..." He said with a scowl.

… …

So the group got on the train heading to their destination, Haku and Sai met up with them as they were leaving and decided to come as well. "Sasuke, how come you keep rubbing your arm?" Suigetsu asked glancing at him. Fortunately, the train was practically empty so they were all able to get seats. As Sasuke suspected Sai sat beside Naruto and Sasuke did not want to start a fight on a train so he opted for sitting away from the blond when Suigetsu sat beside him.

"My stupid brother punched me when I told him I wasn't coming straight home."

"My brother's always hitting me too. He's like it ain't good enough Sui or stop fucking around and whatever then -_bam- _right in my arm." He punched his right palm with his left hand balled up into a fist. "Sometimes he decks me in the face if I piss him off too much. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother and he's cool and shit but it still gets on my fucking nerves."

Normally Sasuke wouldn't give a shit about the monologue of this guy he didn't know but his situation was similar and as arrogant as it sounded that was interesting. "You have a brother?"

"Yup. Hōzuki Mangetsu, he's a second year in high school. He ain't as popular as your brother though." Suigetsu poked Sasuke's cheek as he started frowning. "Don't make that face. I know it ain't easy living under a sadist everyone thinks is the best thing since frozen yogurt." He was already getting one friend and with any luck Suigetsu might just make two. Now his mother didn't have to bother him for the next sixteen years to make a new friend!

"Hey!" Ino yelled, "c'mon this is our stop." So everyone exited the train behind the bubbly, fair-haired twelve-year-old and this time that did not mean Naruto. After a brisk ten minute or so walk from the train station they found themselves in front of the Yamanaka Flower Shop.

"Dude, this is your shop? Its huge!" Kiba exclaimed.

"Duh, its my house too." Ino pointed up above the sign that read _Yamanaka Flowers _oblivious to everyone gaping at her. She just announced that she lived in this enormous shop as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "My dad and I live on the second floor and the shop's on the first floor. Well don't just gawk, lets go in."

The bell chimed as they walked in and a blond was behind the counter smiling. "Cosmos, how was school?"

Ino leaned on the counter grinning. "It was great. I got in five extra laps around the field."

"That's my girl. Oh and I see you brought in quite the group." The man waved at Shikamaru and Chōji who waved back. "Who are the people I don't know?"

Ino looked around the shop and everyone had split up doing their own thing. "Um... you remember Sakura – the one with the forehead?" Her father nodded, "the brunet's Kiba, white-hair is Suigetsu, the blond is Naruto, the spiky haired one is Uchiha-kun, the pretty one is Haku-senpai, the pale guy is Sai-senpai and the other girl I think she said her name was Karin. And this..." She pointed to everyone as she introduced them. As if on cue Hinata approached the counter. "Is Hinata-chan, she's shopping for something."

"Welcome Hinata-chan, I'm Yamanaka Inoichi – Ino's father." Ino smiled. "What can I help you find on this wonderful late spring afternoon?"

"Dad, I told you to lose the sales pitch." She sighed as her father laughed. "Oh! Uchiha-kun also wants something. I'll go ask him." Ino walked off.

"So, if I may ask who are you giving flowers to?"

"M-My cousin. I just want to thank them for always being there for me." Hinata blushed. "I-I didn't want Ino-chan to know because its kind of embarrassing."

Inoichi laughed heartily. "Not at all. Flowers are an amazing and thoughtful gift and I'm not saying that because I own a flower shop. Your cousin must be a wonderful person." Still blushing, Hinata nodded. "So, what kind of person are they? I need to know to pick out the perfect flower for them."

Hinata had to think about that. Most people didn't have nice things to say about Neji other than the fact that he's attractive but this wasn't about what other people thought. "Very sweet... most of the time and kind, courageous, helpful..." Hinata twiddled her thumbs. This was exactly why she needed more friends.

Karin stopped pretending to look the flowers and glanced in Sasuke's direction. He was alone looking at the flowers against the wall and she figured now was the perfect time to talk to him but that damn blonde bounced over to him. "Uchiha-kun." Sasuke turned to a beaming Ino. "What kind of flowers are you looking for?" Karin grit her teeth and inched closer so she could hear what was going on without seeming nosy.

"I wanna get flowers for my mom." Sasuke sighed as Ino went _awww_. "Her birthday was a few days ago and I told her I'd owe her a gift."

"You're just the sweetest son ever Uchiha-kun." Ino chuckled. "What color are your mom's eyes?" Sasuke pointed to his eyes and Ino leaned forward looking at them briefly before leaning back. "I don't have gray flowers but you can't go wrong with purple or red." She picked up some of the aforementioned flowers holding them up to Sasuke's face. "If your mom looks like you red is the way to go. Definitely."

"Sasuke~" Naruto glomped on him poking his cheek, "you look a little paler dattebayo." Sasuke swatted the hand away. Itachi told Naruto that when Sasuke (or presumably anyone in the Uchiha family) blushed their skin actually became a shade lighter instead of going pink and Naruto figured that was what Sasuke was doing right now.

"Geez Naruto, leave him alone." Ino laughed watching the two of them hit one another. "What size bouquet do you want Uchiha-kun?" Ino asked putting the purple flowers back. "Oh, I almost forgot. These are hydrangeas, they bloom around this time of year."

"I'll take a small." Ino saluted walking to the counter. He turned to the blond rocking back and forth on his heels. "Naruto get that stupid grin off your face."

"I can't help it, look at you. You hit puberty two days ago and you're already flirting with girls."

"I wasn't flirting usuratonkachi, I was getting flowers for mom." Naruto's stupid grin got even stupider and Sasuke sighed in annoyance. "Stop it, you know her birthday was three days ago." Sasuke grimaced. He hit puberty the day after his mother's birthday? That was a terrible gift!

"Ooh, let me get flowers for her too. Hey Ino!" Naruto ran up to the counter.

Sasuke shook his head then turned around seeing Karin beaming at him. He had to admit she appeared out of nowhere and scared the hell out of him but he was grateful that he didn't seem scared. "Sasuke-kun, do you think your brother would want flowers? He's been really nice to me and I wanna get him a gift."

Sasuke tapped his chin. "Nīsan has a pollen allergies so I don't think flowers are a good gift for him. Oh shit! I'll be back." Sasuke sprinted to the counter where Ino was wrapping his flowers while angrily chatting with Naruto. "Hey, my brother is allergic to pollen."

"Dude, you're like a few minutes too late. I already told her that and its okay anyway because these hydro thingies don't even have pollen. That's cool, isn't it?" Right, Sasuke forgot Naruto was into gardening and the like. "How could you forget something like that?"

"I'm not exactly thinking of nīsan right now." He glared at Naruto who grinned sheepishly.

"I envy the closeness you two have." Ino said leaning on the counter. "I wanna have a friend to act crazy with and do stupid things." She sighed.

"What about Haruno-chan?"

"Naruto please." Ino rolled her eyes. "I mean, yeah we're friends but we're not really _that_ close ...plus we don't really have a lot in common to do crazy things together. And Sakura is not the type of person to do crazy things with. At all. Plus, there is the whole I don't really get along well with other girls thing."

"Oh! I got it, you and Hinata can try and have that closeness." Naruto put his hands together grinning. "She's a girl and you're always glomping her and shit so why not?"

"Well damn Naruto, you glomp people all the time and I don't comment!" Sasuke watched the two blonds argue with one another. Were all blonds this crazy or was it just these two? Ino was in Naruto's class, since he saw her there at lunch yesterday, so Sasuke was sure they argued like this all the time. Come to think of it, Sasuke looked around the flower shop, almost half the kids here were from Naruto's class: Ino, Kiba, Suigetsu, Chōji and of course Naruto. Then there was Sai – the second year – and the third year Haku while everyone else was: Hinata, Karin, Sakura and Shikamaru were in his class.

Sasuke and Naruto paid Ino for the flowers; the blond told him he bought camellias – whatever those were – which also had no pollen. If Sasuke brought shit Itachi was allergic to in the house not only would Itachi beat the shit out of him even in his weakened state but his mother wouldn't even accept them. Inoichi returned patting his daughter on the shoulder. "Oh and who are you fellas getting flowers for?"

"M-My mom, her birthday was a few days ago." Ino's dad was a very pretty man but not like one of those effeminate pretty men, he was pretty in a masculine way. Oh no. Puberty was _really_ screwing with Sasuke's head. Who was he going to check out next?

"Ah. I hope she enjoys them even if they're a little late." Sasuke nodded. "Ooh, more customers. Excuse me gentlemen." He nodded then walked toward a couple of teenage girls. He heard Ino sigh and prop her chin with her elbow.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Why Uchiha-kun, I didn't know you cared?" She walked out from behind the counter. Sasuke stared at her noticing her uniform skirt was a lot longer than most of the other girls in the school – oh great, here came the perverted thoughts again. Well, at least he wasn't drunk or hungover anymore. "Stupid people from all over the neighborhood come in here pretending to give a shit about flowers just so they can flirt with my dad." She huffed.

"That sucks."

"Tell me about it." Huffing once more she leaned forward so her long hair was in front of her face then she snapped back putting it behind her head. "Naruto told me not to be so formal with you, can I call you by your given name?" Sasuke shrugged. "Great, you can call me by my given name too."

"We probably shouldn't hit the arcade with the flowers huh?"

"Yeah, you're right." Ino laughed earning a growl from Naruto. "Sorry about that. I have two suggestions... either you guys meet us at the arcade or we do it after school Monday?"

Sasuke and Naruto exchanged glances, "Monday."

"Alright. Thanks Ino, you've been a big help. Did your dad help Hinata-chan get her flowers?" Ino sighed with a shrug. "Damn... it'll take me forever to get home."

"Just sleep over, idiot. Tomorrow's Sunday. After you give my mom these flowers I'm sure she won't mind."

"You two even stay at one another's houses!?" Ino groaned. Naruto gestured to the navy-haired girl. "Alright! Alright!" Mumbling under her breath Ino walked over to Hinata.

"Naruto, ooh who are the flowers for?"

"Sasuke's mom, her birthday was the first so I'm giving her flowers. I would have given her roses but Ino said it would be creepy." Suigetsu nodded in agreement. "What's up?"

"Tomorrow we're going to the bookstore, wanna come?" Suigetsu grinned at him and Naruto couldn't help but grin back with a nod. "Sweet. You guys taking the flowers to Sasuke's place?"

Sasuke had another Naruto-like idea. He figured if he brought all these people home his mother would have a field day... however he didn't know if she was home or not and didn't want to bring them there for nothing. Oh well, maybe another time... but he'd bring less than eleven people and Sai definitely would not be one of them. Speaking of people... he never got Hinata's contact information. "Hey Naruto, tell Ino we're leaving. I gotta take care of something." Suigetsu and Naruto exchanged glances as Sasuke walked to the front of the store.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun." Hinata greeted with a wave behind the bouquet in her hands. "You got flowers too? Who are they for?"

"My mom, its a late birthday gift. You?"

Hinata blushed. "T-They're for Neji-nī b-but don't tell anyone." Sasuke nodded. No one would believe him even if he did say anything. "I almost forgot to give you my contact information." She took her phone out of her bouquet. That was... odd but convenient. Sasuke had one of those phone holding things on his pants but he didn't wear it in school because the student government grilled him the last time he did. He took his phone off the thing and held it up. By comparison, Hinata's phone was much nicer and it even had an infrared thing. They stood next to one another to see the other's number and punch it into their respective phones. "T-Thank you."

"You too." Sasuke glanced at his phone. "You want Naruto's number too?" Hinata blushed then nodded timidly. "I'll warn you that idiot talks forever and its usually about nothing." He texted Naruto's phone number to her.

"Sasuke, c'mon teme lets book. Oh what's this?" Naruto grinned nudging Sasuke. "If I'm interrupting I'll wait outside."

Hinata's face turned red as she waved her arms in front of her defensively while somehow not dropping the bouquet. "N-No! I-Its nothing like that!" Sasuke glanced at her before at Naruto who had his free hand behind his head laughing. This was interesting... Hinata didn't really stutter or get nervous unless she was around Naruto. She didn't _like_ him, did she? Nah, maybe Jiraiya's rubbed off on him more than he realized. She did blush and stutter when talking about her cousin too.

"Later Hinata-chan~" He heard Naruto say before the blond linked arms with him. "Lets skedaddle."

… …

Sasuke and Naruto nearly left the flower shop before the former remembered that Karin was living with him and probably didn't know how to get home so he got her and the three of them took the train then transferred to the bus and arrived at Sasuke's place.

"I never realized you were so damn forgetful dattebayo." Naruto shook his head as he walked in the house toeing off his shoes.

"I'm not forgetful, I just don't pay attention to things that don't interest me."

"Sounds like you need to get prescribed some of my meds dattebayo."

"You don't even take them."

"Dad says I don't need them but when we go on meetings that he knows will bore me I take one." Naruto shrugged.

Mikoto rounded the corner from the kitchen embracing her son. Sasuke glanced at Naruto who was just as confused as he was. He told Itachi he'd be home sort of late and he didn't know why Itachi wouldn't tell her. Besides it wasn't even late, it was only eight. Mikoto released her son. "Honey, I have something to tell you." She glanced at the flowers in Sasuke's hand. "Are these for me?"

"Yup." Naruto replied holding out his flowers, "and they're pollen free so you don't have to worry about Itachi-nī."

Naruto blushed as Mikoto hugged him next. "Thank you Naruto-kun these are so sweet." She took his flowers and Sasuke's and went back in the kitchen.

"I almost wished I got her flowers too." Karin grumbled.

"Why didn't you? They're late birthday gifts dattebayo."

"W-What?!"

"Damn, I guess I really am forgetful." Sasuke shrugged, "I didn't tell her." He walked into the kitchen. Naruto glanced nervously at Karin before following Sasuke. Karin huffed. Not only did he just leave in the middle of their conversation for like a half hour but he nearly went home without her! He was the worst host ever! He was lucky he was so damn cute! Huffing once more she walked into the kitchen.

"Okay!" Mikoto clapped her hands together as they three twelve-year-olds sat at the table. "Sasuke, Itachi..." Sasuke glanced at his brother seated in front of him. "Your father and I got a divorce." Mikoto glanced back and forth at her sons for any sort of reaction – there was none. "D-Did you hear me?"

"Um..." Mikoto turned to Naruto, "s-should I leave?"

"Naruto-kun you're practically family. Hell, you are family. And as Karin-chan is going to be living with us that makes her family too." She sighed turning back to Itachi and Sasuke, "you mean to tell me neither of you have anything to say?"

Sasuke shook his head. Their father was rarely around so why would he be surprised about them getting a divorce? Most people weren't really keen on divorcing (particularly the bastards in this neighborhood) but why would someone stay in an unhappy marriage? If Sasuke _had_ to ask a question it would be why didn't she get one sooner?

Sasuke glanced at Itachi, he couldn't really see anything other than his back from the angle he was sitting but judging by the way Naruto was looking at him his expression couldn't be all that pleasant. "Itachi?" Mikoto asked crouching in front of him, "are you okay sweetie?"

"When did this happen?" He finally spoke.

"This morning but its been going on since the last day of May. Are you alright? You two can still see your father whenever you'd like, provided that he's not working – we didn't get a divorce because we hate one another or anything." She glanced at Itachi smiling sadly. "Honey?"

"No, I'm fine." He looked at her. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am." Mikoto laughed standing. "Its only natural that you would be more concerned about me in this sort of situation." She playfully pinched his cheeks. "I promised you guys takeout a few days ago, didn't I? That reminds me." She kissed Itachi on the cheek then Sasuke. "Dinner was wonderful so thank you. Oh, did you help too Karin-chan?" The redhead shook her head furiously. As badly as she wanted an affectionate hug and kiss she didn't want it from Sasuke's mother. "Let me put my beautiful pollen free flowers in a vase and get the takeout menus." Mikoto walked off into the living room.

Naruto glanced at Sasuke. Naruto didn't know how to handle the subject of divorce considering Jiraiya clearly was not interested in marriage even going so far as to not talk about it in his books. It was a good thing Sasuke took this as disturbingly calm as he did because Naruto would have no idea how to make him feel better. At least Itachi had given their mother some kind of reaction! With how much Sasuke bitched about the shit their dad made them do you'd think he'd have a victory dance or something but there was nothing. As it was in his nature, Naruto poked his best friend. "Dude, you okay?" He whispered.

"Yeah, why?" Naruto shrugged frowning slightly. "What? You thought I'd be happy about this or something?" He laughed as Naruto's expression didn't change. "I really don't care if we're being honest. As long as mom's happy I'm cool." Both Sasuke and Naruto flinched as Itachi turned to them with a neutral expression. "You okay nīsan?"

The sixteen-year-old nodded slowly. "I bet this makes for a shit gift, huh dattebayo?" Sasuke's eyes widened briefly as he turned to Naruto. Itachi's birthday was a few days away and he was too preoccupied with finding clever ways to masturbate without getting caught to remember! Not only that but their mother got divorced on the day before her birthday – which probably wasn't a bad thing considering how happy she seemed.

"Indeed." Itachi agreed. "More for mom than me though. Not to mention it'll make family reunions a pain in the ass." Itachi sighed.

"Cheer up!" Naruto urged patting him on the back. "It was basically like they were divorced for a while anyway..." The blond gulped as Itachi stared at him with an eyebrow raised. "W-What I mean is—"

"Its okay Naruto-kun, I get it." Itachi chuckled and that sound was doing weird things to Sasuke's mind. "So you two spent hours getting mom flowers?" Naruto nodded enthusiastically. "If Sasuke was a good son he would have gotten her a gift on her birthday." Sasuke bit his lip, he wasn't really in a position to try and defend himself. Itachi, like the pseudo perfect individual he was perceived to be, got their mother a lavish gift which made the gift Sasuke originally intended on giving her seem like crap so he opted for getting her a better gift a few days later. Though flowers were not his original idea nor did they make his other gift seem worse but the flowers were pretty.

"Oh! I almost forgot." Mikoto returned to the kitchen with several menus in her hands. "Mikoto-san, can I sleep over tonight?"

Mikoto giggled, "of course Naruto-kun. Did you ask Jiraiya-san?" The blond nodded. The first thing he did on the bus on the way here was call Jiraiya and ask if it was cool to sleep over and Jiraiya replied in his customary, automated reply – _if its cool with Mikoto-chan its cool with me... otherwise take a taxi and bring your ass home._ Sometimes, though, he'd reply by saying – _why even bother asking me; you know she's gonna say yes so why would I refuse? _Mikoto spread the menus over the table. "I want all of you to come to a consensus about the place then pick what you want. I refuse to order from several different spots for one night, again." Itachi glanced at Sasuke who shrugged.

"What about you mom?" Sasuke asked. Naruto wasn't that picky when it came to food as long as vegetables were as far away from him as possible and he had the same taste as Itachi so that only left the girl who he didn't know long/well enough to know what she liked – but to be honest he didn't really care either. If their parents did get a divorce why was the girl still here?

"I'm fine with whatever you guys order." Sasuke moved to share a seat with Naruto so she could sit down in his chair. "So what will it be?"

As the boys were busy scanning the menus Karin mentally sighed. She didn't give a shit about food all she wanted to do was cuddle with Sasuke but that wasn't going to be possible with all these family members around! More importantly, she saw Sasuke talking to that Hinata girl for quite some time. It would be beyond terrible for him to develop an interest in her.

"Are you feeling okay Karin-chan?" Mikoto asked with worry evident on her face. Karin smiled and nodded.

"Hey." Karin looked up across the table at Sasuke's exasperated expression. "We're gonna get sushi, is that cool with you?" He asked her in such a half-assed, indifferent way but his voice alone sent chills through her body. Out of everyone at the table _he_ asked her. She didn't really want sushi but how could she say no? Karin nodded then glanced at the menu someone put in front of her.

"They have other things beside sushi in case you didn't want that." Red eyes widened at Itachi he was pointing to various items on the takeout menu. Did he read her mind? She glanced at the sixteen-year-old, he was as attractive as Sasuke (maybe even more as he was the older of the two) but for some reason he didn't make her head go all stupid like Sasuke did but damn if she wasn't nervous being in such proximity to him. She quickly decided on what she wanted not wanting to be too close without embarrassing herself then she glanced up at Sasuke and Naruto still looking over their menu. Itachi gave the menu he was no longer using to his mother who quickly skimmed it before putting it down.

"So we're all decided then?" Mikoto asked earning nods around the table except for one.

"Not yet dattebayo. I don't know what filling I want."

Sasuke sighed, "we're not waiting all night for you dobe just pick something." He snatched the menu from him then hit him over the head with it. "Why do you always have to make things so complicated?"

"Oh? You're one to talk. I just wanna try something new but its not that easy to just pick."

"Well don't go picking things you never tried before now."

Itachi sighed propping his chin with his hand. Even with his best friend he argued but Sasuke just wouldn't be Sasuke if he wasn't bitching. The sixteen-year-old was tempted to try and resolve their latest feud but he thought against it. There was no point in getting involved.

Mikoto laughed. It was always adorable watching them go at it. They fought all the time, sometimes _physically _but it was never enough for them to stop wanting to be friends and that was a good thing. "Naruto-kun you can try whatever you like." The blond beamed and Sasuke scowled slightly. "I admire your ability to adapt and want to try something on the fly. I think I'll try something new too."

"But mom, I'm hungry." Sasuke said with a low pitched whine. Mikoto picked up the menu and cooed to herself, it was only when her twelve-year-old son was hungry or really tired that he acted this cute.

"I picked something dattebayo." Naruto said glaring at Sasuke who returned the glare. "I'm ready Mikoto-san." Everyone took turns writing their order on a piece of paper and Mikoto took the paper and went into the living room to order.

Sasuke stood suddenly. "I'm gonna change out of my uniform." He briskly walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Karin squawked a _me too_ before running up the stairs.

"Naruto-kun." He turned to his best friend's older brother. "How are things?"

"Are you trying to convince me to do something evil with you dattebayo?" Itachi blinked at him. So much for subtlety.

"And, for the sake of argument, if I was?" Naruto smiled. "Now I _know_ you'd never even think of betraying your best friend's trust..." Naruto's lips pulled into a tight line. "However, I—

"Naruto, get up here I need you for something!"

Naruto internally sighed in relief. "Yeah, I'll be there!" He sighed out loud this time. "Go ahead, Itachi-nī."

"How was Sasuke today?" Naruto gulped audibly. How in the world could he answer that question? Sasuke persuaded him into having sex before the twenty-third of next month! How did he tell Itachi his little brother was a horny, puking mess that spent a good chunk of the morning in the infirmary drunk off his ass?

Naruto shrugged, "he was Sasuke. I'll be back." Before Itachi could say anything he sprinted up the stairs. As he reached the second floor Naruto casually walked until he reached Sasuke and Itachi's bedroom he opened the door not even bothering to knock because when Sasuke came to his place he just barged in.

Naruto walked in the room closing the door behind him and looked at Sasuke sprawled out on the floor looking up at him. The blond merely rose an eyebrow. "I'm trying to will away my erection." He deadpanned. Naruto looked his best friend over. Sasuke changed out of his uniform and was wearing a navy t-shirt and a pair of over-sized gray sweatpants so from the angle he was laying you couldn't see any telltale signs of a hard-on.

"Hmm... yeah, I'm gonna borrow something to wear dattebayo." And with that Naruto walked over to the bed and opened the drawer pulling out some clothes. Sasuke was_ slightly_ taller than him so the clothes might be a little too big but everything Naruto wore was too big so it didn't matter. All Sasuke's clothes were the same or a similar color so he just put on the first thing he grabbed. Once he was redressed in a shirt and some shorts he walked back over to Sasuke who hadn't moved from his spot. "For fuck's sake teme just jerk off in the damn bathroom." Naruto's eyes narrowed as Sasuke's gray eyes glanced in his direction, "before you ask I'm not gonna lift a finger to help you."

"If I wanted to get off don't you think I would have already?" Sasuke sat up slowly sighing heavily. He looked up at Naruto still standing there looking more confused than usual – if that was even possible. "Last time I tried to ..._you know_ in the bathroom nīsan caught me." Naruto nodded stifling his laughter. "Oh and that was before he found the condoms you gave me."

"Yeah, you told me that part." Naruto helped Sasuke up after the older boy held his arms up expecting assistance. "You never told me you got caught getting busy though."

"I was taking a bath when he just burst in the damn door then he made us go to Obito's for some sweets."

"Ooh, do you think he still has some dattebayo?" Sasuke shrugged. It didn't hurt to ask – and if Sasuke got more he had proof Itachi did something to him the night before.

The two twelve-year-olds ventured downstairs and into the kitchen were their food was. Damn that was fast service, they weren't even gone for ten minutes! The table at the kitchen only had four chairs one for each member of the family and that probably wouldn't change since the redhead made four but right now everyone was seated at the counter eating. "Itadakimasu!" They cheered digging in.

Karin had to lean forward in order to see Sasuke eating because she was a the first stool from the left and he was on the second to last in between his brother and the blond. Sasuke was gracelessly stuffing food into his mouth similar to last night and every so often either the blond or Itachi would steal food from his plate and eat it. Even Mikoto did it once. Karin would have done it herself but she couldn't reach over two people, not to mention it might seem weird. She put her hand against her chin and kept eating her food solemnly. How difficult was it to get close to someone one room away?

"Karin-chan, what's wrong?" Mikoto asked frowning. "You seem really sad, is your food okay?"

"Wha—?" Karin blushed as the boys turned to her. "I-I'm fine!" She waved her hands in front of her body defensively. "Everything's fine."

Mikoto kept the frown on her face but she nodded. She figured it was probably hard for Karin to cope with living with Sasuke and Itachi – despite how it seemed on the outside the siblings were pretty close and Sasuke wasn't exactly known for letting new people in so easily. Mikoto sighed. Itachi told her not to worry but she had to take matters into her hands. How else was she supposed to make the redhead feel more welcomed? "Sasuke?" Her second born leaned back and glanced at her. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

The twelve-year-old hopped off his stool and followed his mother to the living room by the stairs. Mikoto stopped walking then Sasuke stopped behind her. The blue-haired woman turned around smiling at her son. "So, how are you and Karin-chan getting along?"

Sasuke tilted his head, "what?"

"How are you getting along?" She repeated. "You two are in the same class right? I want to know if you're getting along. She's basically family now so you should think of her as a sister." Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows. Mikoto sighed. She didn't expect him to understand but she certainly hoped he'd get the gist of what she was saying. "All I ask is that you try and be nice to her, okay? She's new and I'm sure she could use some friends."

"Okay..." Mikoto patted him on the shoulders, "what about nīsan? Did you talk to him about this too?"

"I'll talk to him soon." Sasuke nodded to her then went back in the kitchen. He frowned slightly as Itachi and Naruto were nowhere to be seen and all of their food wasn't on the counter anymore. The redhead was still at the counter but her food was gone too.

Sasuke approached the counter resuming his seat. He turned to Karin, "where did my brother go?"

"He said he was going to his room—your room—, _the_ bedroom." Sasuke nodded then turned back to his food scowling. Karin sighed heavily. His angry face made her shiver. "Well, I'm going up to my room." She got off her stool then trudged upstairs.

Naruto returned to the kitchen sitting in his previous spot. "Oh, you're back. I got a phone call from Suigetsu. We gotta take a rain check on the arcade thing Monday and we can't go to the bookstore until next Sunday."

Sasuke sighed, "I can't go anywhere next weekend." Naruto stared at him skeptically. "Nīsan's birthday is Thursday – apparently."

Naruto counted on his fingers. "Wait! Today's the fourth?! Oh right, your mom's birthday was three days ago. But what does Itachi-nī's birthday have to do with your weekend?"

Sasuke sighed again. "We do a stupid 'family' activity the weekend of or after a birthday. Its a _real_ pain in the ass. We go see distant relatives, get family passes to amusement parks, shit like that."

"Whoa, that doesn't sound like a pain. How come you never told me about this before?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Its probably because we haven't done it in a while. Dad was usually at work for all of our birthdays including his so... but now if my parents are no longer together I doubt we'll be waiting for him on the other hand we might not do it at all without him around. But more importantly I didn't nīsan anything for his birthday. He's gonna fry my ass."

"Get him some dango or some onigiri."

"I cannot pass off a damn confection as a gift! If I don't get him a physical present it'll be the end of me. I successfully managed to get him out of my head all day then this shit happens." Sasuke groaned cradling his face in his hands.

Naruto frowned at his best friend mumbling into his hands. The blond already bought a present for Itachi weeks ago but telling Sasuke that will go one of two ways: he'll either force Naruto to share the gift with him _or_ he'll complain indefinitely about it. "Listen up teme, you know Itachi-nī better than anyone so you know what he likes. Just get him something you know he'll love. Damn, its not that difficult."

Sasuke slowly rose his head glaring at Naruto. "You already got him something, didn't you?" The blond laughed nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "Dammit Naruto, how could you get him a gift before me?!" Option number two it was. Naruto sighed. "Don't sigh! Help! You know my brother as well as I do. Tell me what you got him."

"Uh, no? That's like cheating dattebayo."

"I don't want to get him the same thing!"

"Trust me dude, you won't. I promise you that." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Glaring at me isn't gonna get you a gift any faster Sasu-tan."

"Fuck!" Sasuke banged his fists on the table. Before he got ready to do it again he paused. As rare as the thought was Naruto was right. Bitching about getting him a gift wouldn't get Itachi a gift. An idea struck and Sasuke smirked. Once Naruto saw that look in Sasuke's gray eyes he gulped. "If we're not going to the bookstore tomorrow, for whatever reason, we're getting a gift for nīsan." He said quietly. It was barely audible but Naruto heard him all too well.


End file.
